The Snowpocalypse! (aka Snow in the South)

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It happened last week. The annual snowpocalypse in the southeastern United States. For those of you from other countries, there are parts of the United States that get a lot of snow for about four months every year. I live in one of those unfortunate places. For us, getting a foot (30 centimetres) of snow overnight just means that we have to spend a little extra time clearing our driveway before we go to work. In the southeastern region of the United States they get snow about once a year, and when they get it, it’s about one to three inches (2-6 centimetres). What makes us Northerners laugh is their reaction to it, or rather their overreaction to it.

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Now I know that making fun of southerners reaction to snow is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel, which is apparently something they do in the South. Maybe that’s why they get so upset by snow. Maybe their barrels freeze over and they can’t shoot fish. We’ve all seen news footage of people fleeing a hail of bullets during a terrorist attack. That’s exactly how people in the south flee a hail of…well, hail. Although in the South they’ll try shooting back first, because everyone in the south in America is ‘packing’.

Last year Atlanta, Georgia got a couple inches of snow one day and immediately every motor vehicle on the road just stopped. They didn’t break down or anything, they all put it in park and just sat there waiting for the sun to return. School buses full of children on their way home stopped. The kids slept overnight on the buses parked on the highways.  Businesses everywhere just closed up until the white stuff was all gone. Remember when you were a kid and you and your siblings would play that game where you pretend the floor is lava and you have to jump from furniture to furniture? That’s southerners with snow.

This is how we handle snow on the roads up north:

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If you’re a grocery store owner in the south you pray for that snowmaggedon each year because in the south people imagine that when that two inches of snow hits, they’re going to have to “hunker down” and survive in their homes for who knows how long. When two inches of snow is forecast they all race to the store to stock up on “provisions.”  Families start drawing straws to see which family member they’ll eat first when they run out of food.

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I don’t know if there’s any phenomena quite like this anywhere else in the world. If any of you from other countries know of the same or a similar pattern of behavior in your country, I’d love to hear about it. The irony of me posting this today is the fact that I’m in sunny Florida vacationing right now. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

22 responses to “The Snowpocalypse! (aka Snow in the South)

  1. Well, in Kenya we have no snow at all..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. But Southerns are SO entertaining! From Canada, hee hee hee!

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  3. No snow in NJ. Was 60 on Thursday lol. Have a great vacation! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The North becomes the South somewhere in the 300 miles between Chicago and Louisville. Living in that transition zone means you get a mixed bag of folks in terms of ability to handle winter. Before living here, I was in Minnesota for 15 years. That means I constantly deal with the guy who doesn’t understand the amount of money I spent on good winter tires until I drive past his car which is upside-down in a ditch. This is the same guy who when the ice storm takes down the power lines will have his family huddled around a burning trash barrel in his living room while my generator insures my electric heat keeps my house at a comfy 72 degrees. Naturally, these are the same people wearing every goddamn article of clothing they own because God forbid they invest in a winter coat that would keep them from looking like a bum-sicle.

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  5. Hahaha, this sounds like my rant yesterday. We’ve had storms in the U.K., with some tidal surges too that, granted, have caused some destruction. And the snow that has fallen in the west and south by our standards has been a lot. But where I live we had a light dusting overnight and I never managed to get out of 2nd gear for my drive to work due to every other imbecile thinking they were suddenly being asked to traverse Arctic tundra! Pfft! As I said on twitter, there’s more white stuff in my baking cupboard than there was on the road. I think it should be compulsory to send every driver to a country with proper snowfall before allowing them to pass the test!

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  6. There is no snow here in L.A.
    Don’t have to shovel so hurray
    But children never get to play
    Or look forward to a snow day.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. LOL. It doesn’t take snow here. Just the threat of temps below 40 and all hell breaks loose.

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  8. That first photo was taken a block from my day job. And yes. We. Are. Nuts when snow falls.

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  9. Bahaha I’m from the south and this is spot on!!

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  10. Well, I was walking around Las Vegas with just a t shirt on thinking I was so warm and one of the tour guides said was I mad, it’s cold. Erm no, 19degC is like a summers day!

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  11. Last week it was 70 in Texas. Then this weekend it was in the 30s and 40s! Texas always has bipolar weather! We haven’t had any snow since last year. People can’t drive in the snow here anyway.

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  12. Yes I’m sure! Not sure how you do it over there, it’s crazy! If it makes you feel any better, it’ll probably be 105, 110 in the summer 🙂

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