Don’t Worry! I’m Not That Prince Philip

In case you were worried about me, I’m not the Prince Philip that was in a car accident a few days ago. Although we share an identical spelling of our first names, that’s where the resemblance ends. Why was Philip even driving? Was he trying to Brexit the country?

Is it just me or does he always seem to have two black eyes? I wonder if he’s in a lot more car accidents than we ever hear of. Or maybe he and Queen Elizabeth like it a little rough in the bedroom.

I may not  be a Prince, yet. If the Queen gets tired of Philip’s high jinks and gives him the boot, I’m not opposed to having a sugar mama, especially one that allows me to be King of England if she mysteriously passes away.

I may never be Prince, but when I’m elected President (#PHIL2020), or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law, not just in the United States, but the whole world. Which I think will require me to be Sexiest Man Alive, because that’s a worldwide title.  My law will state that no human being should be allowed to drive a car past age 75.

I know some will say that’s ridiculous, but I don’t think so. By the age of 75 so many parts of aging impede our ability to be a good driver. Our vision is much less than it was when we were younger and our ability to physically react quickly has declined significantly. If that wasn’t the case you’d see 75 year olds playing professional sports. Hell, I don’t want to be driving past age 75! If my kids read this, please take the keys away from me when I’m 75, or earlier if warranted.

Get this, Prince Philip was seen driving around two days after the accident. He obviously doesn’t have much common sense, but for cripes sake, is everyone in the English monarchy stupid? Get that guy off the road! Get him off the left side and the right side of the road! If he wants to drive around put him in a golf cart on the castle grounds but attach a tether to it so he can’t go too far.

With all due respect, this is a serious issue. If an elderly family member is still driving and you think they shouldn’t be, please take away the keys. Yes, that may upset them, but not as much as a fatal accident will.


30 responses to “Don’t Worry! I’m Not That Prince Philip

  1. Sage advice put in a humourous way!

  2. Well said. I’ve scheduled a blog for Tuesday on just this subject. The Duke was cautioned by police yesterday when out driving in his brand new Range Rover, delivered a day after the accident, because he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt! Why somebody hasn’t taken away his car keys is beyond me…

  3. In Ontario, it’s mandatory to be tested again as soon as you turn 80 and every year after that. My father-in-law just had his license taken away because he was diagnosed with vascular dementia. It was sad and hard to explain to him, but definitely for the best.

  4. yesterday on the road again without a seatbelt. some people will do anything to exit the royal family, like being in the mob, you can never leave )

  5. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Why am i laughing so hard?? Why would the queen die mysteriously??

  6. If an elderly family member is still driving and you think they shouldn’t be, please take away the keys.

    Uh…. that is not something you can legally do. We had this problem with my father, so I approached the Department of Public Safety, Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and they sent him a letter, requiring him to come in for an evaluation.

    If he passed the test, we simply had to suck eggs.

    He feared he would not pass the test, so he surrendered his license (and keys). This helped us to avoid a family fight and solved the problem, legally.

    • Well, when I said take away the keys I left it open to people to decide how that would work. I’ve been in that situation not too long ago as well. Sometimes a physician can also be of help.

  7. Hmmm..
    Maybe it’s time to go back to “work.”😉

  8. Gotta wonder where you get your stats, Phil. No driving after 75? I’m 77 and still driving modified stocker races. In fact, step outside and give me 100 of your best along with 100 of mine.

  9. He wasn’t just driving 2 days after the accident. He was driving WITHOUT A SEATBELT! Personally I would offer his services to the UK Prime Minister as her own personal chauffeur.

  10. Honestly, at his age I’m pretty sure they could take away the keys and convince him he already went wherever he’s trying to go.

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