So here is my quandary: I have a credit card where I accumulate fictional airline miles that if they add up enough, I can use to purchase flights. A few months ago I had enough miles and purchased a flight. Now it looks like I’ll have to cancel that flight. In the airlines loyalty club rules it says that if I cancel my flight I either don’t get my miles back, or if I want my miles back I have to pay them $150. Mind you, if I cancel now, they have weeks to re-sell that seat and its on a flight to a very popular city, so there’s no absolutely no chance it would go unsold. I want my miles back but I don’t believe that I should have to pay them for them. If I pay them and they also re-book the seat, they essentially get paid twice for the same seat. I see that as a very greedy and non passenger friendly policy. If I just don’t show up for the flight, they may have an unused seat on the flight that they don’t get anything for. I’d like my miles because I will soon need to book another flight and the $150 is less than the cost of paying just cash for the flight. So what do I do? The poll results will control my fate:
Have a great Sunday and thanks for your feedback! ~Phil
Christine wrote a beautiful and touching story of the advice she would give her past self at different ages. Beautiful and touching? Yeah, that’s not exactly my style. Younger me was a moron and he definitely needed my advice. So, here’s what I would tell myself if I could travel back in time to help younger me:
Dear 1970’s Phil: Dude, relax. You’re a kid. Don’t stress about anything. Especially not the air raid drills they make you do in grade school. The Russians are definitely not going to bomb you. At least not until Trump is President. Just be careful around water fountains. Not the big kind that you see in a park, but the little ones you drink out of in the hallway at school. There’s one that will change your life forever. That one fountain is the Joker to your Batman. Also, enjoy and remember your adventures with The Golden Boys. You’ll want to write about them in the future.
Dear 1980’s Phil: To borrow from Baz Luhrman, wear sunscreen. You get sunburned from the refrigerator light! Wear sunscreen. I want to have skin like a baby’s bottom when I/Me/You are older. Also go ahead and grow the mullet, but cut it off in 1988. You kept it a year too long. Also, enjoy and remember your adventures with The Golden Boys. You’ll want to write about them in the future.
Dear 1990’s Phil: Apple. Not the fruit. Well, yes, the fruit. Eat them, they’re better than all that fast food you eat. But remember Apple the company. Save all your money and invest in a company named Apple in 1999. If you do this you can retire from work in 2015. Don’t mind the hyperlinked blue text there. You can’t read that yet. Also, enjoy and remember your adventures with The Golden Boys. You’ll want to write about them in the future. And yes, you get the most important decision of your life right.
Dear 2000’s Phil: You’ll be raising your kids now. I’ve got no advice for you. Nothing can prepare you for parenting. Just relax and enjoy. You can’t control everything. In fact I should have told you that about two decades ago. Also embrace fantasy football. Not only will you be really good at it, but if you play your cards right, you can make a living at it. Enjoy and remember your adventures with The Golden Boys. Yes, they’ll still be with you.Maybe write a few books about them. And don’t stress about the number of views your blog gets. The right people will get the jokes. No, seriously, I was not kidding about the fantasy football.
All in all, don’t worry about much I said here. Life’s never going to be perfect. Live your life and enjoy it without too much worry. And lastly, wear sunscreen.
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor.