This Sunday is The Academy Awards. Picking best picture is boring because the award never goes to movies that normal people would see. So let’s vote for the worst movie of 2015 because those are the movies more likely to be watched by uneducated heathens like us. The nominees for Worst Picture of 2015 come from Rolling Stone’s list of the ten worst pictures.
This is my second annual edition of The Snap Judgement Oscar Awards where I give my Oscar Awards based on my own convoluted reasoning without having seen most of the movies. I hope it will eventually become syndicated feature that Entertainment Tonight pays me to do for their website each year and then eventually they’ll invite me into the studio on Oscar night to do a pre-Oscars Snap Judgement Oscar Awards ceremony. I considered giving all the awards to Beyonce just so Kanye wouldn’t storm my blog demanding justice. Without further doo doo, here are The 2015 Snap Judgement Oscar awards!
Best Supporting Actor: This one was easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actor goes to J.K. Simmons for his role in Whiplash. I didn’t see Whiplash but Simmons is awesome in those Farmers Insurance commercials and played J. Jonah Jameson in the 2002 Spider-Man movie. When you see this guy who doesn’t think, “We are Farmers! Bum de dum dum, bum bum bum”
Best Supporting Actress: This one was a no brainer too. I didn’t see the movie, but the Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actress goes to Kiera Knightly for her role as Benedict Cumberbatch’s girlfriend in The Imitation Game. I heard some guy on the radio talking about how her character balanced Benedict Cumberbatch’s character by softening and humaninzing him. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. She’s really cute and has a British accent. In my mind that makes her a brilliant actress.
Best Actress: I saw none of the movies in this category but The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actress goes to Rosamund Pike for her role in Gone Girl because she is the only nominee who has a 6 Degrees of Separation/Kevin Bacon-like connection to The Phil Factor. Rosamund was in Gone Girl with Neil Patrick Harris who is friends with Lori Duron, author of Raising My Rainbow, who once did an interview with The Phil Factor that you can read here. The fact that she has stuck with the idiotic first name of Rosamund almost disqualified her.
Best Actor: I was tempted to award this to Benedict Cumberbatch for The Imitation Game because I’m a huge Sherlock fan, but, c’mon Benedict! How many times are you going to play a guy with Asperger’s figuring stuff out? Michael Keaton was also a consideration for his scene in the 1988 movie Beetlejuice when he had a tiny head. Acting with a shrunken head cannot be easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actor goes to……Andrew Garfield for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Like all guys, I’m a kid at heart and I grew up reading Spider-Man comics and eagerly anticipating the movies. Garfield pulls this role off with aplomb. He almost didn’t win this award because his hair is just a little too poofy to believably fit under a mask, but I let that slide. Also, parts of the movie were filmed in my hometown, so knowing that Andrew was here gives him the Phil Factor connection that put him over the top.
Picture Credit: SONY Pictures and MovieFanatic.com
Drumroll please…..The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Picture goes to The Interview! Two pot smoking actors strong arm Sony into making a picture the company didn’t want to do and end up creating an international incident and the most talked about movie of the year. Sounds like a movie plot doesn’t it? How could this not win? It was also the focus of one of the most popular Phil Factor posts of 2014, my fictional interview with North Korean Dictator Kim Jon Un.
Sony Pictures and imdb.com
As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend and enjoy the Oscars! ~ Phil
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor.