I was apparently ahead of my time when I wrote this three years ago. There’s some funny references in here that were more pop culture relevant in 2014.
03/01/2014) This week all the news programs aired a video of our President and Vice-President jogging around inside the White House in their shirts and ties. The idea of the video is to support Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative to fight obesity in the U.S. It’s ironic that to reduce obesity she wants us to sit down to watch a video.
This is just embarrassing. For cripes sake Obama! This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen a President do, and that includes Lewinsky. You’re the leader of the free world, allegedly, and you’re spending time making clownish videos? That’s very Putin-like of you. C’mon! You’re better than that! That’s not what I want to see my President doing. Joe Biden? Sure, make all the lame Youtube videos you want. You’re the V.P. I didn’t even know you were still alive and most Americans confuse you with this ventriloquist dummy:
That’s why when we saw the video we were surprised to see your legs moving.
President Obama, I’m disappointed in you. Yes, you are the President, but we all know that Michelle wears the pants in the family. We just didn’t know that she was going to make you prance around the White House in them. I don’t want to see that. I want my President to be presidential!
In the past in this space I’ve ranted against President Obama having just a bit too much fun while on the job, but after some time and consideration I think I’ve changed my tune. His term is up in two years and we can’t vote him out, so why shouldn’t he have some fun? Heck, look at all the fun Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is having? Once that guy got into office he went full on Charlie Sheen and he’s still got his job.
President Obama, here is what I’m proposing you do. Turn over the reins to Joe Biden. He’s done nothing of note for six years. Give him a little thrill. It’ll be the high point of his life. Then you go on a farewell tour like pro athletes do when they announce their retirement. Hell, if you’re already sitting around the White House making goofy videos you might as well be retired.
No, wait, even better. Barack, you know what I think you need? A road trip. No, not the kind you take as President with a full security detail, but the kind where you just hop in a car with, oh, I don’t know, maybe a random blogger, and just take off. I’m serious. You probably haven’t gotten drunk in years. I’ll be your designated driver. I’ll just pull up outside the White House late after Michelle is asleep, throw a pebble at your window, you climb out, run across the lawn, hop the fence and we’ll be off to destinations the CIA won’t be able to find you in. I’ll introduce you to the ladies as my cousin Barry. Maybe we’ll hit Spring Break in Miami or something. (Hey everybody, just for fun click the CIA link up there.)
Have a great Thursday! ~Phil
Picture credit: pichore.com