Hey People Magazine, really? Is this what it’s come to? You’re giving Sexiest Man Alive to Chris Evans? What happened, did you run out of Hemsworths? No, you did not. Luke Hemsworth is still out there and you picked this guy?!!? Apparently anyone who gets a job in a Marvel movie is eligible to be Sexiest Man Alive. And here he is in that picture ogling the wholesome Elizabeth Olsen, my favorite of the Olsen twins. I expect the Sexiest Man Alive to exhibit better decorum than that. I ask you People Magazine, are there any pictures circulating on the interwebs of me lasciviously eyeing an Olsen twin? No there is not.
Normally, in addition to mocking the current Sexiest Man Alive, I would make my case as to why I should have been chosen. This year I’d like to nominate a few other candidates that I feel are far more deserving of the award than Chris Evans, me, or any Hemsworth you might dig up.
Volodymyr Zelensky went from lawyer to comedian to President of a small country that most people didn’t think much about until last February. He has lead his small country against a huge country with infinitely more resources and is impossibly holding their own despite limited help from other countries. When the United States offered to fly him out of his country early in the war, he replied “The fight is here. I need ammunition, not a ride.” That’s better than any line Chris Evans ever uttered in a movie. I can’t tell you how many women I know that immediately thought Volodymyr was sexy AF.
You know how there are hundreds of movies about airplane pilots passing out or whatever and some random passenger takes over and with the help of air traffic control folks over the radio manages to land a plane and save everyone’s life? This guy, Darren Harrison, did just that in real life. That is effing sexier than making a superhero movie.
How about some more love for platelet donors? Platelet donors save the lives of countless cancer patients. It’s not a comfortable process. It takes about two hours and you can’t move your arms the whole time. You’re also really cold because they take your blood out of one arm, filter the platelets out of the blood and then put that blood, now much cooler, back in through the other arm. So for two hours you’re cold, you’ve got needles in both arms, and you can’t move to scratch an itch. It’s like a kind of torture. But there are people that do it every two weeks, saving countless lives of people they don’t even know. At the end they get some juice and free Cheez-Its.
People like Zelenskyy, Darren Harrison, and every platelet donor ought to be winning awards and being put on magazine covers instead of some pampered pretty boy who memorized a few lines.
Have a great Sunday, and go donate some platelets or just whole blood if you can! In the States, American Red Cross donation centers are open now. ~Phil
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