If Sgt. Pepper had been promoted, this would have been an easier list. In the comments please tell me your favorite or who you would add that I missed.
10. Captain Jack Sparrow is the only captain on this list wearing eye liner.
9. Captain Underpants: See? Not all captains are pirates or in the military! If you’re not familiar, Captain Underpants is a series of graphic novels, sort of, aimed at the 8-12 year old boys demographic, much like my blog.
8. Captain & Tennille: A cheesy husband/wife musical duo from the 70’s. The Captains “real” name is Daryl Dragon. He and Tennille used to wife swap with Tony Orlando and Dawn.
7. Captain Morgan: Aaaand we’re back to the pirate theme. After this famous Englishman got done plundering Puerto Rico they named a rum after him.
6. Captain America: This virtuous warrior always beats Captain England in a fight.
5. Captain Hook: That hook for a hand had to crimp his style with the ladies, but on the bright side he always had a corkscrew with him.
4. Captain and Coke: If you sneak a flask of rum into the movies in your purse or under your coat, you can buy a large coke at concessions and you’re good to go for the next two hours. It makes any movie funnier.
3. Captain Kangaroo was the main character on a terrible children’s show when I was a kid. Ironically, the show never featured an actual kangaroo, so I’m not sure who he was Captain over.
2. Captain Kirk: He was a bad ass before the phrase bad ass was invented.
1. Cap’n Crunch: I’d never disrespect the inventor of crunchberries by calling him “Captain” instead of Cap’n. Pretty sure he’d shiv me with a sharpened spoon and then use it to eat his breakfast over my cold, dead body. How’s that for a bad ass Captain?
Those are the ten best captains I could think of. Did I miss any of your favorites?
Have a great Tuesday! ~Captain Phil