Tag Archives: Vanessa Hudgens

Pop Culture Commando

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Ironically, or maybe appropriately, I’m torn on how to procede with this post.  Earlier this week there was a news report that Irish singer Sinead O’Connor had gone missing. My first thought, was that her music career went missing about twenty years ago.  The picture above was probably the last time most Americans ever saw or heard about Sinead. So on Tuesday she posted some rants about her family on social media and went for a walk. A few hours later she was declared missing until they later found her at a Best Western hotel, apparently self-soothing with the free breakfast and wi-fi. You go girl! Who doesn’t love a free breakfast buffet? Like I said, I was torn about mocking Sinead because of her mental health issues, but at the end of the day, we’re all crazy, it’s just a matter of how much. I’m hoping Sinead reads this and at her next concert tears up a picture of me.

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Ferris Bueller turns 30: My favorite movie ever is being celebrated this week. I still remember when me and my friend argued about which of the two of us was more like Ferris or Cameron. Of course we both thought we were Ferris. Now on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, he would probably be late 40’s, graying hair, wearing reading glasses and living in the suburbs and cutting the lawn on his day off. I guess I did end up being Ferris.

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Actress Vanessa Hudgens Fined $1000: See that picture above? ‘Actress’ Vanessa Hudgens carved that into the Red Rocks at a state park in Arizona to declare her love for Austin somebody or other. Of course defacing natural beauty in a state park comes with a price to pay and this week Vanessa paid it. $1000, which turns out to be all she earned as an ‘actress’ last year. Chances are that the carving lasted longer than the relationship. And longer than her acting ‘career.’ On the trip, I wonder if she and her boyfriend stayed at a Best Western…

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Vagina Kayak? Why not! You know all the crime drama shows that say their plots are “ripped from the headlines”? I’m going copy and paste the first three paragraphs of this story I found on NBC news. Please add your own jokes in the comments. From NBC News: “TOKYO — An artist was found not guilty of obscenity Monday for displaying figurines modeled on her vagina but received a fine for distributing digital data that could be used to make a realistic three-dimensional recreation of her genitalia.

“A court in Tokyo dismissed prosecutors’ charge that Megumi Igarashi, who works under the name “Rokudenashiko” — or “good-for-nothing girl” — had displayed obscene objects. It ruled her figurines decorated with fake fur and glitter could be considered “pop art.”

However, the judges said the data, from a scan of her own vagina, could be used with a three-dimensional printer to create a realistic shape that could sexually arouse viewers.”

This is the first time in my tags that I have used the phrase “vagina kayak” but here’s to hoping it’s not the last. I could make jokes about that story, but I’d rather hear yours. Fill up the comments and have a great Saturday! ~Phil

I Have 3 Problems with The Polar Vortex

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So I thought to myself, “Phil, everyone loves cute, whimsical pictures of kittens. If you had a kitten on your blog more people would read it.” Seriously, how many of you saw the picture and said, “Awww!” and clicked on this to read more? Read on my frozen friends because the kitten wasn’t just a trap to lure you into my evil clutches. He’s related to the story. Prior to that sentence I had never thought of myself as having “evil clutches”, but there you go. It’s out there. It’s a thing. What is an evil clutch anyway? A cute little hand bag made by Satan?

This week much of the country was engulfed in the worst cold spell we’ve endured in a while. I have three problems with The Polar Vortex.

Problem Number 1: They named it. In an effort to make their marginalized profession seem more important, meteorologists are naming virtually every weather event so they can grab some headlines. The Polar Vortex does sound like an evil nemesis from Antarctica, which is awesome. (Apparently they couldn’t go with Mr. Freeze because the Batman franchise had that trademarked) But seriously, do we need to give every gust of wind and downpour a name? It used to be just hurricanes, but now every tropical storm, typhoon, and cold snap gets a name. I want a job on the committee that comes up with those names. How fun would that be? I’m also disappointed that not one weather forecast brought out the Snow Miser video.

Problem Number 2: People in  warm states freaking out. Seriously everybody, it is just cold air. Zip up your coat and go to work. Maybe put on a hat, like the kitten in the picture.

Problem Number 3: The idiots. Some science geeks suggested that for fun people boil water, go outside when the temperature is at least 50 below zero Fahrenheit (about -46 for my Celsius friends) and throw that water in the air to observe it turning into snow before it hits the ground. Pretty cool idea right? Yes it it pretty cool, unless you’re one of the idiots who said to themselves, “It’s only 17 below but I’ll try it anyway.” For those idiots it was pretty hot when the wind blew scalding water back in their face and these idiots filled emergency rooms to have their burns treated.

Doing my extensive scientific research for this column I did come across a video of actress Vanessa Hudgens actually performing this experiment successfully but I chose to go with the picture of the kitten. You’re welcome.

Before you go though, I need your help. For my next interview I have a rising star in the world of magic. If you could ask a magician one question, what would it be? Leave suggestions in the comments.  As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor I would love it if you would hit the Facebook, Twitter or Google+ share button below. Have a great Saturday! ~ Phil

picture credit: chud.com