The 6th Annual Snap Judgement Oscar Awards!

If you’re new here you may be wondering what the Snap Judgement Oscar Awards are. The Phil Factor Snap Judgement Oscar Awards, also known as The Phillies, is one of the most prestigious versions of the Oscar Awards because first of all, they are given by me, and secondly, I base my decisions on the same idiotic, half-informed logic that you use when you pick a movie to watch. I haven’t seen most of the movies and I’m basing my opinions on completely ridiculous reasons. So without further self-indulgent blathering, we’ll let the winners do that, let’s get on with the show!

Image courtesy of Hollywood Reporter

The nominees for Best Actress in a Supporting Role are: Amy Adams (Vice), Marina de Tavira (Roma), Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk), Emma Stone ( The Favourite), and Rachel Weisz (The Favourite). As much as I love Emma Stone for her work in three Spiderman movies, both she and nominee Rachel Weisz, are ruled out because their movie apparently occurs in 1800’s era England, so basically it’s a Downton Abbey rip-off. Marina de Tavira gets credit because her name is Marina and getting through life named after a place people park their boats has got to be a tough gig. I did see Amy Adams in a movie in 2018. It was Arrival and to be honest, if aliens are coming to Earth why would they talk to Amy Adams instead of me? So, the 2019 winner of the Phillie for Best Supporting Actress goes to Regina King of If Beale Street Could Talk because I’ve never been to New Orleans and I’d like to go.

Photo courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter

The nominees for Best Actor in a Supporting Role are: Mahershala Ali for Green Book, Adam Driver for BlacKkKlansman, Sam Elliott for A Star Is Born, Richard E. Grant for Can You Ever Forgive Me, and Sam Rockwell for Vice. Mahershala, I’m sorry, but you’re out because I’ve never heard of your movie. Adam Driver, because your name broken down is “A dam driver”, and you didn’t choose to make that the official pronunciation, I have no respect for you. Sam Elliott? Puh-leeze! We’re over your mustache. Without it you’d never have gotten a role. It’s 2019, don’t you know beards are in? The winner of the 2019 Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actor is Sam Rockwell for his portrayal of George W. Bush in Vice. He makes Republican President George Bush seem absolutely adorable in comparison to you know who.

Picture courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter

The nominees for for Best Actress are: Yalitza Aparicio for Roma, Glenn Close for The Wife, Olivia Colman for The Favourite, Lady Gaga for A Star is Born, and Melissa McCarthy for Can You Ever Forgive Me? Yalizta is immediately ruled out because they spelled the name of her movie wrong. It’s Rome with an E. Lady Gaga is out because her name sounds like something a one-year-old would say when learning to speak. Melissa McCarthy for Can You Ever Forgive Me? No Melissa we can’t. Your best work was in Gilmore Girls. The winner of the 2019 Phillie for Best Actress is Glenn Close because of the irony of her film title. In her most memorable role, Fatal Attraction,  she played a mistress and now she gets the nod as The Wife.

Picture courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter

The 2019 nominees for Best Actor are: Christian Bale for Vice, Bradley Cooper for A Star is Born, Willem DaFoe for At Eternity’s Gate, Malek for Bohemian Rhapsody, and Viggo Mortensen for Green Book. Bale is out because he was the most forgettable Batman ever. Willem DaFoe will never get the nod until he fixes his ridiculously bad first name. Rami Malek can’t win best actor because the best movie version of Bohemian Rhapsody was sung by Mike Myers in Wayne’s World. Viggo Mortenson can’t win because Viggo sounds like one of the Teletubbies. So, by process of elimination, the 2019 Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actor goes to Bradley Cooper for his work in The Hangover.

Picture courtesy of Decider.com

The nominees for the 2019 Phillie for Best Picture are: Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, BlacKkKlansmen, Green Book, Roma, A Star Is Born, Green Book, and Vice. The Favourite?!!? It has the Canadian/English spelling of Favorite, so it’s definitely out. Vice? Can’t win because when was the last time any Vice-President was on screen for two hours? BlacKkKlansman? Nope. I won’t even put up with jokes about racism on my blog. Green Book? Yawn. Roma? Had they actually served Italian food at the movie showing this would have been a shoe-in. That brings us down to Black Panther, A Star Is Born, and Bohemian Rhapsody. Look, if I wanted to see a musical, I’d go to Broadway, so the winner of the Phillie for 2019’s Best Picture is Black Panther because I love a good superhero movie and this was also awesome in 3-D. All the other movies only had two D’s. Also, it had Martin Freeman who played Jim on the original The Office made in England.

Feel free to share to social media so you and your friends can prep for your Oscars parties. Have a great Sunday and enjoy the lame Oscars show! ~Phil

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The Unemployment Diaries Week 3: A Video Blog!

WordPress again saw fit not to put my post in the Reader, so for a mildly amusing video of me, possibly in various states of undress or not, feel free to click the link below.

via The Unemployment Diaries Week 3: A Video Blog!

The Unemployment Diaries Week 3: A Video Blog!

Well, I’m still out of work, but I’m finding ways to fill my time. It’s not really week 3 anymore, but I had some challenges with the Youtube Beta editing software. Here’s an update Enjoy!

Thanks for spending four minutes of your day with me. As always, if you enjoyed this feel free to share by hitting one of the social media buttons below! Have a great Saturday and come back tomorrow for my 6th Annual Snap Judgement Oscar Awards! ~Phil

Throwback Valentine’s Thursday! Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

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7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

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4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

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1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil

A Quick Poll. Please Help Me Name My Next Book!

The sequel to Time To Lie has been written and edited. I have sent it off to the publisher. I have tentatively titled it The Last Locked Door. I’m wondering if that’s a strong enough title to lure readers in. Many a book, movie or other product have been either successful or done poorly based on the choice of name. I want your opinion on the title The Last Locked Door. Vote in the poll !

Thanks everybody! I really appreciate your help. Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

It’s Groundhog Day!

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In case you didn’t know, it’s Groundhog Day. Who doesn’t love this movie? Especially since Bill Murray’s character was named Phil. Coincidence? I think not. This post was originally written for #ThePhilFactor on Feb. 2, 2006 and I now post it every year, over and over, just like Phil’s Groundhog Day in the movie.

(Feb. 2, 2006) Last week I waxed philosophic about the idiocy known as The Dr. Phil Show. This week, and today in particular it’s Punxsutawney Phil. Groundhog Day the movie: Good idea. Groundhog Day the tradition: Stupid idea. The dimwitted people of Punxsatawney, Pennsylvannia have been shoving a rodent through a hole in a tree stump for almost 200 hundred years to find out if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Hey morons, you live in the Northeast! There’s always 6 more weeks of winter! Check the calendar! It says that Spring starts on March 21st. That’s 7 weeks from now. You don’t need a rat being spooked by his shadow to figure this one out. At this point I’m getting tired of all these wanna-be Phil’s trying to horn in on my fame. If, coincidentally, a shot were to ring out in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today and a certain rodent were to explode in a puff of fur, I was kidding when I wrote this. No harm meant, just a joke. You’ll all be my alibi right?

I’m curious, for those of you from other countries, do you have a Groundhog Day? As always, if you enjoyed this vintage Phil Factor feel free to share it via the social media buttons below. Come back Saturday for a brand new Phil Factor. Have a great Friday!  ~Phil

Second In Command: The Debut Novel by Sandi Van!

I’m proud to introduce you to my neighbor, friend and author Sandi Van. Her first published novel Second In Command, is available TODAY on Amazon! Sandi is a writer, counselor, and former special education teacher from Buffalo, New York. She blogs at Caravan of Composition, and for all of my WordPress blogging friends, she is a WordPress blogger, so go give her a follow. Her work has also been featured in Adoptive Families magazine.

Second In Command synopsis: Sixteen-year-old Leo dreams of becoming an Eagle Scout and, someday, a police officer. He makes sure to always do the right thing and be responsible. With his mom deployed and his dad constantly working, Leo is often left in charge of his two younger siblings. Then Leo’s brother, Jack, gets caught up in a dangerous plot that rocks the community. Can Leo keep his promise to stand by his brother no matter what, or will he stand on the side of justice?

Me: Hello Sandi and welcome to The Phil Factor! Although your cover, pictured above has the title Second In Command, on Amazon the title is Second in Command (YA Verse). I know that YA means Young Adult, but what does the Verse refer to?

Sandi: A verse novel is a story told entirely through poetry. It follows the same narrative structure as a traditional novel (in other words there is a character with a goal, and there are obstacles preventing him from reaching his goal that increase in peril as the story progresses), but instead of chapters there are poems. Not to fear, the novel is aimed at reluctant readers and was written for anyone to enjoy, despite their experience in the realm of poetry.

Me: How did your own personal experience influence the plot and characters of your novel?

Sandi: The story is about a family affected by their mother’s deployment. The main character, Leo, is 16 and expected to help take care of his younger siblings. My husband serves in the Navy and was deployed for most of 2003. I witnessed firsthand the stress deployment can have on those left behind, particularly young families. The characters are loosely based on our next door neighbors from that time period. Mom was deployed and Dad worked long hours, leaving the kids to take care of homework, meals, and laundry. I was impressed with how responsible the oldest son was, and years later he inspired me to create the character of Leo. 

Me: When and how did you realize that you wanted to be a writer?

Sandi: In fifth grade I was chosen to be part of an experimental group that tested this newfangled 1980’s software that could create a sort of choose your own adventure story. My story was about a witch, and I had a lot of fun coming up with ideas and watching the completed project spill out of the dot matrix printer. Around seventh grade I discovered Edgar Allan Poe. Between that and various episodes of unrequited love, my poetry flowed heavily and with abundant angst. There is also a box full of old journals in my basement my husband and children have been instructed to burn upon my passing. I started my first blog in 2008, and in 2013 I found myself without a job and with an idea for a novel but no clue how to write it. Fate brought a writer into my path who introduced me to a whole bunch of other writers and helped me figure out how to turn my ideas into a book. The book wasn’t very good. But the process of writing, editing, and putting it out into the world made me believe I could actually be a writer.

Me: So what comes next? Is there a sequel to Second In Command, or do you have something else you’re working on?

Sandi: Oh the million dollar question. No, there won’t be a sequel to Second in Command, although I’d love to write another verse novel. Currently I’m working on a story about a young Naval Reservist who serves on the funeral guard. On her way to a funeral she gets stuck in a snow storm and learns how to cope with a personal tragedy through her interactions with other stranded motorists. I was born and raised in Buffalo and although thankfully I’ve never been trapped in my car during a storm, I’ve always been impressed by the way people come together and help each other during heavy snowfalls. 

Thank you for sharing my story with your readers, Phil!

Me: You’re welcome Sandi! A book about someone stranded in a snow storm? With the weather this week, it’s too bad you can’t launch that one right now!

Even though Second In Command is her debut novel, do you know how you can tell that Sandi is a big time author? (Aside from the fact that she’s featured on The Phil Factor. ) Hardcover! Her first novel is published in both hardcover and paperback!  Hardcover is big time. Hardcover is James Patterson/Stephen King big time. Michelle Obama’s first book came out in hardcover and so did Sandi’s!

Thank you again Sandi for appearing on #ThePhilFactor. I wish you the best of luck with your new novel and we look forward to what’s next. Please check out Sandi’s novel on Amazon . You can find her at her website and please give her a follow at Caravan of Composition and Twitter!

Have a great day! ~ Phil