People Magazine released their 50 Most Beautiful People edition this week. Spoiler Alert! I wasn’t on the list again. Hard to believe right? Trust me, I’m as outraged about it as you are.
Rumor has it I was 51, but that doesn’t even get you honorable mention in the magazine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not arguing with any of their choices because I don’t know who they are. Apparently you have to buy the magazine. C’mon People, have you got some sort of vendetta against me? First I lose out on Sexiest Man Alive. Ok, I guess I can see that since you only choose one, this might not have been my year. Neither me nor James Van der Beek won Sexiest Man Alive this past Fall, so I don’t feel so bad. If it’s not me, I don’t know how that guy doesn’t win every year. I’m not gay but if I was it would be for James Van der Beek.
Seriously People Magazine, when you open the list up to FIFTY I don’t see how I don’t at least squeak in there at 47 or something like that. Just like Pink below, who made the list, I had my naked pictures all ready to send in.
Ok, okay, stop asking, I’ll post my picture already!
Sadly this wasn’t enough. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is the story of my life going all the way back to my second place finish in the Pinewood Derby in Cub Scouts, my alternate status for the county spelling bee, and that internship at the White House in the late 90’s I just missed out on.
I was on stand by for the last shuttle mission. Apparently when ranking the crew for missions, sarcastic writer guy comes just after pilot, navigator, and engineer. Something about payload and fuel got me bumped from that flight. Well, that and the fact that I became incontinent during the practice launch.
As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor I’d love it if you’d try one of my books or at least share this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil