Tag Archives: People Magazine

Newsflash: People Mag Cheats Phil Factor Out of Sexiest Man Alive Nod

In an obviously underhanded maneuver last week, People Magazine named Idris Melba as Sexiest Man Alive while I was away on vacation. People magazine very obviously was trying to avoid the comeuppance of years past when my annual Sexiest Man Alive post always shows up their flagship announcement by getting more comments and views.

Aside from being related to the family that invented the worst toast ever, what has Idris Melba ever really done? First of all, his name is a nightmare. Just a random assortment of letters. Once his name was used on Wheel of Fortune and it took contestants two weeks to figure it out. Also, his birth name is Idrissa. What does that even mean? Did his parents want him to be a girl? Maybe, that’s why he has a doll.

What kind of arrogant ego-maniac signs off on having a doll made of their likeness? Here’s an earlier picture of him when he was a homeless drifter in East London:

Not so sexy there is he ladies? Good for him for picking himself up and making a go of it as an “actor”. That’s fine. I have no issues with Idris Melba. He seems like a fine actor and a good guy.

The real story here is how People magazine attempted to slip this announcement into the public arena when they knew that I was away. I’m flattered that People Magazine tracks my movements so closely. Every year for thirty years they’ve announced the Sexiest Man Alive like clockwork, the second Wednesday in November. And for the past ten years on the very day of their announcement I have blogged about their poor choice and my obviously stellar qualifications. (Don’t believe me? Google The Phil Factor Sexiest Man Alive. It’s even better if you click Images) This year I plan a vacation the first week of November and BOOM!  People drops the announcement a week early. Coincidence? Obviously not. That’s OK People, do what you want. Me any my readers know who the true Sexiest Man Alive is.

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

People Magazine Got It Wrong. Again

David_and_Victoria_Beckham_Funny_Moment 1

David Beckham? Seriously People Magazine? This is 2015, not 1999. That guy has got to be as old as me! He retired two years ago! He’s unemployed. He’s old and unemployed and People Magazine chose him over me for this years Sexiest Man Alive title. If old and unemployed is the criteria then why not choose Gene Wilder or Bernie Sanders?

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Me and The Becks used to be besties until “the incident.” Over the years I put up with a lot of s–t from who, at the time, I considered my best buddy. Throughout our childhood I put up with a lot, and believe it or not, as kids I was the one who shined the brightest on the soccer field, or football as some of you say. David came over to the States as an exchange student for the summer and stayed with my family. I was great at soccer while at the time David was a scrawny, awkward teen with braces, glasses, and fashion sense that would make Sheldon Cooper roll his eyes.

Over that three months that Becks was at my house we practiced soccer skills daily. I taught him how to lose those glasses and overcome his 20/400 vision by just trying to see harder. I taught him everything about style and suave-ness. It all was fun and we grew close, until my girlfriend Samantha came over. Then David, jealous of my manly American ways, used the cool British accent, and everything else I had taught him, to woo Samantha. One day I caught them kissing. I was heartbroken and furious with Becks and sent him packing back to England tout de suite.

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In the picture above, my head is intentionally in color. It was a special effect the photographer was trying. In fact, Becks is so jealous of me that I bet you could probably find a picture on the internet just like this but with his head photoshopped in. It was at this shoot that I met Vicki, a young aspiring model/singer from the U.K.

Later when I was dating Vicki and helping her get her career off the ground by teaching her to sing, the Becks came back for a visit, seeking my forgiveness. I forgave him, but then later while Vicki and I were at dinner, she left to go to the ladies room and left her mobile on the table.  Guess whose text popped up on her screen? When she returned I flew in to a rage, overturning the table and storming out of the restaurant. Vicki of course left me and the rest is history.

Yes, David Beckham may be an overrated, unemployed, girlfriend stealing has-been, but those reasons are not why People Magazine should have chosen me over Becks. Here’s the reason: Later he and Victoria got married and had kids. The marriage and the kids are not a problem. The problem is that they named their children Brooklyn, Romeo, Harper Seven and Cruz. Harper Seven?!!? Are you kidding me? Is there some pretentious Hollywood cult that teaches these idiots to give their children ridiculous names? Scientology maybe? These people have to be stopped. You cannot reward this type of idiotic behavior with Sexiest Man Alive Awards. What if the kids with idiotic names grow up and procreate with other kids with idiotic names and then they name their kids with more idiocy? We’ll have a world of people named after random directions, numbers and inanimate objects. How confusing will that be?

You know what should be rewarded with Sexiest Man Alive Awards? A good blog, steady employment and kids with normal names. Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil, aka The REAL Sexiest Man Alive.

 

TBT! People Magazine’s Sexiest Blogger Alive

It’s that time again. Next week People Magazine will name their Sexiest Man Alive. Last year I was oh so close. I’m hoping this is my year. Here is what I wrote about it last year.

(11/20/14)  Yes, it was a small crumb of acknowledgement yesterday when People Magazine named me Sexiest Blogger Alive. I’ll take it, but I’m not happy about it. That’s like being named the second smartest Kardashian. I wanted the big award. I wanted Sexiest Man Alive, but again, People overlooked me for a far inferior candidate.

Chris Hemsworth?!!? Are you kidding me People Magazine? I’m not even sure if he’s Captain America, Thor or The Hunger Games! And he’s Australian! Australia has their own People Magazine and they didn’t name him their Sexiest Man Alive. If he can’t win an award in his own country then why should we give him our awards? If he was any good at acting shouldn’t Kangaroo Barbecue Magazine named him Sexiest Bloke in The Outback or some such nonsense?

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That’s it. That’s the best picture of Chris Hemsworth that I could find on the internet. There weren’t really that many to be honest with you. Kinda makes me wonder how popular this guy really is. There’s also one more thing I wonder about him. In his family there are three brothers: Liam, Luke, and Chris. Do you see a problem there? I do. His brothers names both start with the letter L. Chris’ name does not. It very clearly starts with the letter C. Suspicious don’t you think?

All the other sibling names start the same, but his is different, making me think that he might be different; perhaps adopted and already had the name so they didn’t change it. If he’s adopted, that means he could  be the son of anyone in the world, including Osama Bin Laden. Or worse yet, he might be a Bieber, Lohan or Kardashian! Maybe his name is really Kris Kardashian.

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This is what the People Magazine cover should have looked like.  I could have and would have volunteered to write my own profile for them. Did Chris do that? I doubt it. In fact we have no proof that he can write. Have you read his blog or any of his books? Of course not! He doesn’t have any blogs or books. He’s a total illiterate as far as I can tell!

So People named an illiterate, girl haired, possible son of Bin Laden their Sexiest Man Alive over me. This is wrong in so many ways. Excuse me, I think I need a moment. If you didn’t click on the links for Sexiest Blogger Alive and Kangaroo Barbecue Magazine you probably should.

As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share (with People Magazine) by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! The 51st Most Beautiful Person

This year People Magazine named Sandra Bullock the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. Last year however, People Magazine named the 50 Most Beautiful People in the World. I was 51st. On a separate note, thank you all for all your visits and comments this month. It was my stats second best month in ten years of blogging.

(04/26/2014) People Magazine released their 50 Most Beautiful People edition this week. Spoiler Alert! I wasn’t on the list, again. Hard to believe right? Trust me, I’m as outraged about it as you are.

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Rumor has it I was 51, but that doesn’t even get you honorable mention in the magazine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not arguing with any of their choices because I don’t know who they are. Apparently you have to buy the magazine. C’mon People, have you got some sort of vendetta against me? First I lose out on Sexiest Man Alive. Ok, I guess I can see that since you only choose one, this might not have been my year. Neither me nor James Van der Beek won Sexiest Man Alive this past Fall, so I don’t feel so bad. If it’s not me, I don’t know how that guy doesn’t win every year. I’m not gay but if I was it would be for James Van der Beek.

Seriously People Magazine, when you open the list up to FIFTY I don’t see how I don’t at least squeak in there at 47 or something like that. Just like Pink below, who made the list, I had my naked pictures all ready to send in.

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Ok, okay, stop asking, I’ll post my picture already!

Arnold

Sadly this wasn’t enough. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is the story of my life going all the way back to my second place finish in the Pinewood Derby in Cub Scouts, my alternate status for the county spelling bee, and that internship at the White House in the late 90’s I just missed out on.

Bill & Phil

I was on stand by for the last shuttle mission. Apparently when ranking the crew for missions, sarcastic writer guy comes just after pilot, navigator, and engineer. Something about payload and fuel got me bumped from that flight. Well, that and the fact that I became incontinent during the practice launch.

As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor I’d love it if you’d try one of my books or at least share this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great week! ~Phil

The 51st Most Beautiful Person

People Magazine released their 50 Most Beautiful People edition this week. Spoiler Alert! I wasn’t on the list again. Hard to believe right? Trust me, I’m as outraged about it as you are.

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Rumor has it I was 51, but that doesn’t even get you honorable mention in the magazine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not arguing with any of their choices because I don’t know who they are. Apparently you have to buy the magazine. C’mon People, have you got some sort of vendetta against me? First I lose out on Sexiest Man Alive. Ok, I guess I can see that since you only choose one, this might not have been my year. Neither me nor James Van der Beek won Sexiest Man Alive this past Fall, so I don’t feel so bad. If it’s not me, I don’t know how that guy doesn’t win every year. I’m not gay but if I was it would be for James Van der Beek.

Seriously People Magazine, when you open the list up to FIFTY I don’t see how I don’t at least squeak in there at 47 or something like that. Just like Pink below, who made the list, I had my naked pictures all ready to send in.

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Ok, okay, stop asking, I’ll post my picture already!

Arnold

Sadly this wasn’t enough. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is the story of my life going all the way back to my second place finish in the Pinewood Derby in Cub Scouts, my alternate status for the county spelling bee, and that internship at the White House in the late 90’s I just missed out on.

Bill & Phil

I was on stand by for the last shuttle mission. Apparently when ranking the crew for missions, sarcastic writer guy comes just after pilot, navigator, and engineer. Something about payload and fuel got me bumped from that flight. Well, that and the fact that I became incontinent during the practice launch.

As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor I’d love it if you’d try one of my books or at least share this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

 

If You Love Honey Boo Boo, You’ll Love…The Phil Factor?

This is my new quarterly feature, Fun with Search Terms! You know how when you put in a search term you get pages of related websites? Some are close to what you wanted to find and others not so much. Have you ever worded your search term poorly and gotten some results that made you click your browser closed in horror and go take a shower? This post is my quarterly reminder to be careful what you put into a search engine because somewhere someone knows what you’re looking for.

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WordPress tracks the search terms that bring people to The Phil Factor. Here are some of my favorites from the last 90 days along with my commentary:

If you love Honey Boo Boo you’ll love: The Phil Factor? Yup, apparently Google thought that my whimsical trailer park wisdom would appeal to the Honey Boo Boo crowd. Jeez, what’s next, Duck Dynasty fans? Speaking of that, just to be clear, I am not the Phil that everyone is so riled up about this week. We’ve suspended him from Phil Club until further notice.

Reasons to hate OprahI’m only surprised that someone had to do a search to find reasons. I can think of at least ten off the top of my head.

Cub Scout cult: If I was to start a cult it definitely wouldn’t be with Cub Scouts, and especially not with the scout leaders. The khaki shorts and kerchief outfit gives me the creeps.

Dog drool germs: Apparently Google thinks my blog is the place to find dog drool germs. That’s why I keep Purel over in the left sidebar. On a related note, if you just looked at my left sidebar to see if it was there I strongly suspect you may be one of the people whose search terms end up in this list.

Kid stuck to popes leg: I’m not allowed to comment until the Vatican issues a public statement.

Ted Cruz catheter: Apparently after reading several passages from #ThePhilFactor during his infamous filibuster Senator Cruz laughed so hard that he peed himself.

Etiquette for men peeing outside: Proving that I am a resource of useful information, yes, there is etiquette for men peeing outside and I wrote about it here.

Celine Dion satanic: I don’t believe for a minute that Satan would want Celine Dion hanging around with him. Her music isn’t evil, it’s just bad.

Horniestintheland.com : I don’t know if that’s a real website and I’m afraid to look, but someone found The Phil Factor by entering that search term. Is there a Horniest in the Land contest? If I entered and posted the link here would you vote for me?

People Magazines sexiest man alive year after year: At least Google search thinks of me as The Sexiest Man Alive even if People Magazine keeps getting it wrong.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your friends by hitting the Facebook share button below. Happy Holidays and have a great weekend!

The Phil Factor: Sexiest Man Alive? Maybe.

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It’s time.  If you’ve been following The Phil Factor for a while you’re well aware of my past campaigns to be elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first. When I say “my past campaigns” what I mean is my annual post expressing surprise that I wasn’t selected as Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine.

I’ve decided that it’s time to be proactive rather than reactive. This year instead of just sitting back and hoping that I’ll be noticed, I’ve decided to actively campaign for Sexiest Man Alive.  I’m serious and I’m going to need your help. Here is my platform:

1. I’m a normal guy. Aren’t we all tired of magazines pushing these unrealistic expectations of what is sexy on us? It’s always rail thin models with implants and “hunky” guys (also maybe with implants) who have no real jobs so they work out all day with a personal trainer. How about if People chose a “real” man for Sexiest Man Alive? A normal guy who is sexy because he’s smart, funny, works hard, and provides for his family? Isn’t that what most women really want at the end of the day instead of an unattainable playa’? As you can see from the picture below, I don’t have a single implant, hair or otherwise!

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2. No nightlife? No problem. It’s hard for your man to be sexy for you if he’s out at the clubs or allegedly “on location” shooting his next project. You know what I think women find sexy? A man who comes home at night with flowers, helps clean up from dinner, takes the kids to the park and then sits down with a glass of wine next to you on the couch while you watch those ridiculous cooking and home improvement shows. Of course if I had a nightlife, or friends in real life who invited me out that would be different, but I don’t, so consequently, I’m sexy as hell to real women who want a real man. I’m not even sure I can find my Hammer pants anymore. Is that still a thing?

3. Intelligence. Now I know nobody is going to mistake me for Leonardo DaVinci, but I’m pretty sure I could crush Leonardo DiCaprio at Jeopardy! Most people think intelligence is sexy. Marilyn Monroe once said that the sexiest man alive was Albert Einstein. I’m not going to give you a lecture on physics, but I can hold up my end of a conversation.  Just like Spike TV has that Pros Vs. Joes show where former pro athletes take on “ordinary guys” at a variety of sports challenges, I’m willing to pit myself against any show biz pretty boy in a Jeopardy! challenge. C’mon People magazine! Set it up! Let’s make this years Sexiest Man Alive earn it by being sexy inside and out. How about me, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet vs. Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper & Ryan Reynolds in a game of Trivial Pursuit? That would be riveting television!

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So I’ve made my case as to why I should be named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive this year, but how can I get People Magazine to find out about me? That’s where you come in. If everyone reading this does two small things I think we can change the world, or at least a magazine cover. As I’ve already done, just e-mail the link to this post to:  editor@people.com and make sure you hit the Facebook share button below so this goes viral.

As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by Facebook & Twitter and by all means click the Facebook ‘Like’ button up in the right sidebar to follow all of my writing escapades. Also, come back on Tuesday for my interview with Pulizter prize winning author Dave Barry! (Now click the Facebook share button. Seriously, do it. It’s right there below this. You know you want to.)