Throwback Thursdays! If I Said Reading This Made You Smarter, Would You Pay Me?

lumosity

 

(11/9/2013) Lumosity.com commercials are everywhere lately. Whether I’m listening to the radio or watching TV, anytime that I’m try to get vapid, mind-numbing entertainment the

Hmmm…let’s take a look at their business model. Like a drug dealer, if you go to their website they give you a little of their product for free to get you hooked, then once you’re hooked the free stuff runs out and you have to pay to get your fix. I wonder if anyone is declared a genius after their free trial? I’m guessing no. Then, for $8.67 per month you want me to play video games on your website and you will tell me when I’m smarter? Wow! That sounds like a great deal! Where do I sign up? Obviously the Honey Boo Boo crowd who buy into the Lumosity spiel need something to help them get smarter. By the way, how did the Honey Boo Boo show get on TLC? TLC stands for The Learning Channel. I’m pretty sure that watching Honey Boo Boo actually makes you dumber.

boo boo

 

Speaking of TLC, here are some of their shows: Honey Boo Boo, Long Island Medium, Alaskan Women Looking for Love, Fabulous Cakes, My Five Wives, Americas Worst Tattoos, Welcome to Myrtle Manor and about a half dozen shows about weddings. Somewhere along the way I think the folks in charge of The Learning Channel may have lost their way.

If advertising is to be believed, if you spend all your time playing video games at Lumosity and watching shows on The Learning Channel you’ll cure cancer and invent time travel within a year. It seems like anything that tells you that they’ll make you smarter will only do so if you give them money. Lumosity, TLC, colleges…Hey Lumosity, guess what? I can get Angry Birds free on my phone and I feel like a genius when I finish a level.

If you make a typo trying to go to the Lumosity website you end up at Lumoisty.com and that is not a website you want to go to. I’m just kidding. I don’t know what’s there and I’m afraid to find out. (Someone reading this please go there and in the comments section here tell me what you find) Here’s my idea: I’m going to buy the domain name Lumoisty.com and just make it a link to The Phil Factor where the people that go there thinking they are going to some brainiac website will sign up to pay me a monthly fee to read The Phil Factor and allegedly get smarter. I may need some of you to write testimonials and maybe film a short promotional video where you say how smart The Phil Factor has made you. Who’s in?

What I love about this post is that now, as long as the internet search engines exist Lumosity and Honey Boo Boo will be forever linked. I’m sure the Lumosity folks are thrilled with that. Also, for the rest of your life whenever you see or hear a Lumosity,com commercial you’ll think Lumoisty.com. Say it out loud…Lumoisty

As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook, Twitter or other social media share button below. And for God’s sake leave me some comments! I never get enough comments. Thanks for reading and have a Honey Boo Boo kind of day.

22 responses to “Throwback Thursdays! If I Said Reading This Made You Smarter, Would You Pay Me?

  1. How much money are we talking about exactly? Also, if TLC was a person, well lets say, we should take it round back and shoot it-just to put it out of its misery. For real. Your blog makes for good reading.

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  2. I did it! I went to lumoisty.com! I’m a little bummed to report that there’s nothing there…just some text suggestions for make-your-brain-bigger sites. *sigh*

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  3. this is so funny 🙂
    Honey Boo Boo? 😉

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  4. Famous last words: “Somewhere along the way I think the folks in charge of The Learning Channel may have lost their way.” Your post reminds me why I spend commercial time checking my Instagram feed!!

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  5. I read the Phil Factor and I is smart. That there is my testimanonial! I swear it true!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I can to feature in the video and say “I don’t know about smartness but Phil Factor always makes me laugh.” 😀

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  7. I think I’ll stick with the Phil Factor and leave lumosity to those who deserve it!

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  8. Thank goodness we in The Land Down Under don’t seem to be pummeled by adverts about Lumosity (or even Lumoisty, although that could be a whole different learning experience).

    Now, I have to slope off and see what that Marissa person is all about.

    PS When you do your testimonial video to blow your own horn, I do a mean Chicken Dance. Will that be helpful?

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    • Yes by all means go enjoy Marissa’s blog. She is a hilarious and talented poet. I love her stuff. As for your chicken dance I’d be honored to have your talents as part of my video. (Funny coincidence, I’m from where the chicken dance was allegedly invented)

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  9. Have a Honey Boo Boo kind of day?!
    In spite of the fact it made me shudder, I actually laughed out loud. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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