Tag Archives: Honey Boo Boo

Throwback Thursdays! If I Said Reading This Made You Smarter, Would You Pay Me?



(11/9/2013) Lumosity.com commercials are everywhere lately. Whether I’m listening to the radio or watching TV, anytime that I’m try to get vapid, mind-numbing entertainment the

Hmmm…let’s take a look at their business model. Like a drug dealer, if you go to their website they give you a little of their product for free to get you hooked, then once you’re hooked the free stuff runs out and you have to pay to get your fix. I wonder if anyone is declared a genius after their free trial? I’m guessing no. Then, for $8.67 per month you want me to play video games on your website and you will tell me when I’m smarter? Wow! That sounds like a great deal! Where do I sign up? Obviously the Honey Boo Boo crowd who buy into the Lumosity spiel need something to help them get smarter. By the way, how did the Honey Boo Boo show get on TLC? TLC stands for The Learning Channel. I’m pretty sure that watching Honey Boo Boo actually makes you dumber.

boo boo


Speaking of TLC, here are some of their shows: Honey Boo Boo, Long Island Medium, Alaskan Women Looking for Love, Fabulous Cakes, My Five Wives, Americas Worst Tattoos, Welcome to Myrtle Manor and about a half dozen shows about weddings. Somewhere along the way I think the folks in charge of The Learning Channel may have lost their way.

If advertising is to be believed, if you spend all your time playing video games at Lumosity and watching shows on The Learning Channel you’ll cure cancer and invent time travel within a year. It seems like anything that tells you that they’ll make you smarter will only do so if you give them money. Lumosity, TLC, colleges…Hey Lumosity, guess what? I can get Angry Birds free on my phone and I feel like a genius when I finish a level.

If you make a typo trying to go to the Lumosity website you end up at Lumoisty.com and that is not a website you want to go to. I’m just kidding. I don’t know what’s there and I’m afraid to find out. (Someone reading this please go there and in the comments section here tell me what you find) Here’s my idea: I’m going to buy the domain name Lumoisty.com and just make it a link to The Phil Factor where the people that go there thinking they are going to some brainiac website will sign up to pay me a monthly fee to read The Phil Factor and allegedly get smarter. I may need some of you to write testimonials and maybe film a short promotional video where you say how smart The Phil Factor has made you. Who’s in?

What I love about this post is that now, as long as the internet search engines exist Lumosity and Honey Boo Boo will be forever linked. I’m sure the Lumosity folks are thrilled with that. Also, for the rest of your life whenever you see or hear a Lumosity,com commercial you’ll think Lumoisty.com. Say it out loud…Lumoisty

As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook, Twitter or other social media share button below. And for God’s sake leave me some comments! I never get enough comments. Thanks for reading and have a Honey Boo Boo kind of day.

If You Love Honey Boo Boo, You’ll Love…The Phil Factor?

This is my new quarterly feature, Fun with Search Terms! You know how when you put in a search term you get pages of related websites? Some are close to what you wanted to find and others not so much. Have you ever worded your search term poorly and gotten some results that made you click your browser closed in horror and go take a shower? This post is my quarterly reminder to be careful what you put into a search engine because somewhere someone knows what you’re looking for.


WordPress tracks the search terms that bring people to The Phil Factor. Here are some of my favorites from the last 90 days along with my commentary:

If you love Honey Boo Boo you’ll love: The Phil Factor? Yup, apparently Google thought that my whimsical trailer park wisdom would appeal to the Honey Boo Boo crowd. Jeez, what’s next, Duck Dynasty fans? Speaking of that, just to be clear, I am not the Phil that everyone is so riled up about this week. We’ve suspended him from Phil Club until further notice.

Reasons to hate OprahI’m only surprised that someone had to do a search to find reasons. I can think of at least ten off the top of my head.

Cub Scout cult: If I was to start a cult it definitely wouldn’t be with Cub Scouts, and especially not with the scout leaders. The khaki shorts and kerchief outfit gives me the creeps.

Dog drool germs: Apparently Google thinks my blog is the place to find dog drool germs. That’s why I keep Purel over in the left sidebar. On a related note, if you just looked at my left sidebar to see if it was there I strongly suspect you may be one of the people whose search terms end up in this list.

Kid stuck to popes leg: I’m not allowed to comment until the Vatican issues a public statement.

Ted Cruz catheter: Apparently after reading several passages from #ThePhilFactor during his infamous filibuster Senator Cruz laughed so hard that he peed himself.

Etiquette for men peeing outside: Proving that I am a resource of useful information, yes, there is etiquette for men peeing outside and I wrote about it here.

Celine Dion satanic: I don’t believe for a minute that Satan would want Celine Dion hanging around with him. Her music isn’t evil, it’s just bad.

Horniestintheland.com : I don’t know if that’s a real website and I’m afraid to look, but someone found The Phil Factor by entering that search term. Is there a Horniest in the Land contest? If I entered and posted the link here would you vote for me?

People Magazines sexiest man alive year after year: At least Google search thinks of me as The Sexiest Man Alive even if People Magazine keeps getting it wrong.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your friends by hitting the Facebook share button below. Happy Holidays and have a great weekend!