Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons to Become Amish

Who doesn’t love the Amish right? Sure they don’t know Breaking Bad from breaking wind, but there are a lot of great reasons to convert to Amishism. That’s a word right? That must be what they call it. Who knows? They never talk enough for us to figure them out. My demographic stats show that I have very low readership among the Amish, so I decided to write a post about them to boost my popularity. I’m hoping they’ll share it on their Facebooks.


10. Black is very slimming: Have you ever seen an Amish on Extreme Weight Loss shows? Of course not.

9. The Amish never worry about a wi-fi signal or download speed. 

8. The Amish chicks always get to wear a ‘little black dress”

7. Barn sex! Need I say more? 

6. About 5 years ago dudes with beards became popular: I’ve gotta think that the Amish dudes have to wade through chicks just to get to the barn every morning. Why isn’t there an Amish rock band?

5. Amish gas prices are still lower than ours

4. If I witness a murder and the mob is after me I’m going to go hang with the Amish. It always works. But I’m not letting Harrison Ford fly me there.

Harrison Ford in the movie Witness

Harrison Ford in the movie Witness

3. I can make up words like Amishism and none of the Amish correct me. They’re totally chill like that.

2. Vanilla Ice hangs with the Amish. Yo if there’s a problem he’ll solve it, check out the hook while the Amish revolve it.

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1. If I was Amish I’d never spend time checking my blog stats: Although I’ve got to think that if an Amish started a blog it would be very popular. I may just fake Amishism and start another blog.

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

16 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons to Become Amish

  1. You always make me laugh, particularly with your Amish obsession! As always, absolutely loved this post!

    • Thanks Suzie! I don’t think it’s my Amish obsession, I think it’s everyone’s Amish obsession. Let’s just say that Amish posts are always good for blog traffic.

      • I’ve always wanted to have a conversation with an Amish person. Not sure what we’d talk about though… I don’t think they’d be interested in my take on the new Daredevil series…

      • I’ve talked with them occasionally. Where my summer cottage is there’s Amish and Mennonites. I have a gazebo and shed built for me by the Amish. Maybe next week I’ll make pictures of those my Wordless Wednesday post.

      • That sounds amazing! Summer cottage? Lucky you!

  2. The Amish always have a booth at the farmer’s market. We get their
    whoopie pies. Delish!

  3. OK, now you’ve done it. I’m going to be thinking about barn sex for the rest of the day.

  4. Regarding #7…do you know how itchy hay can get?

    I mean, I wonder how itchy hay can get?

  5. Why Phil I really am astonished
    At all these reasons to go Amish
    And my hats off for the nice
    Rhyme in the one bout Vanilla Ice

  6. Love number 7 ! Fancy checking my blog out ?

  7. I have never gotten that hot thinking of having sex with a barn–sounds splintery. Oh! Oh, I get it now! Gol-lee, can I be slow. BARN sex, of course!:

    Yes, it is well known: The Amish do like their horses.

  8. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Funniest Top Ten Lists Ever | The Phil Factor

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