Category Archives: Top Ten

Ten Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

This is another of my annual features that I’ve written since 2005. (Don’t believe me, click this. It’s my Thankful post from 2005 ) I like to do this post every year because it forces me, and hopefully you to think “outside the box.” Then again, who cops to be an inside the box thinker? How would that go at a job interview? “My strengths? Umm…well, I’ve never had an original thought. My ideas are exactly what you’d expect and probably a lot like the bloke you let go. If you need a problem solved, I’m definitely not your man.” Anywho, back to today’s thankful theme.  Yes, of course I’m thankful for family, friends, career and health. That goes without saying. Here are some unusual things that I’m thankful for:

10. Stovetop Stuffing: Everyone please stop pretending that your Grandma/Mom/Wife’s stuffing is good. It’s not. It’s just soggy bits of bread with unidentifiable “spices” that may or may not be cat urine. Stovetop Stuffing is always light, fluffy, delicious and I can make it it myself. It’s so good it even has it’s own website. Does your Mom’s stuffing have a website?

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9. Twitter: It’s an amazing tool for connecting the world and spreading information at the speed of megabytes. It’s also the funniest place in the world. You know when you’re in a meeting at work and you think of something really funny to say but you can’t because you’d get fired? Somewhere someone else is in a meeting thinking the same thing and they’re tweeting it. But I definitely do not scroll through Twitter when I’m on work conference calls. If you’re not following me on Twitter, get at me @thephilfactor

8. Your Votes: My book, Time To Lie, is in the AllAuthor.com Cover of the Month Contest. I’ve advanced to the final round. I’m in 5th so far, but only the top 3 win some free advertising on their website. If you’ve got a moment, you can vote by clicking THIS LINK, and since it’s a new round, if you’ve voted before, you can vote again.

7. The Outdoors: Sometimes I put my phone down and look around at things outdoors, like sunsets and rainbows, and think, “Man this is pretty kick ass.” I’m glad I don’t live on a planet where’s there’s no oxygen and I have to stay indoors all the time.

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6. Horny Hindi’s: Thanks to this post I wrote in March of 2015, almost half my reads every day are of that one post. I’m considering writing a blog just for the Hindi speaking population. They seem to like me better than you English speaking folks.

5. Backflipping Robots: Some are worried about robots taking over the world in the not too distant future. Not me. I can’t wait. Especially if robots can entertain us like this:

4. The Internet: Yes, the internet is the source of all manner of trouble, but at the same time it’s also the source of so many good things. Like funny cat videos on YouTube. Go ahead, click that. You know you want to.

3.Thanksgiving is only one day: Yes, I’m thankful Thanksgiving is only one day. Heck, I’d be ecstatic if it was only one hour. At least it doesn’t get a whole month. Thanksgiving is not that great of a holiday. If the main meal were pizza or scallops wrapped in bacon however, it would be my favorite holiday.

2. That Tie: That picture above is a tie that a co-worker gave me twenty years ago and I have worn it for work the day before Thanksgiving every year since. Thank you Barb.

1. All of You: Yes, this is corny and obvious, but it’s true. I’m thankful for all of you, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers from all over the world. You make my day with your likes and comments. Happy American Thanksgiving to you no matter where you’re reading this from. In the comments, why don’t you post one unusual thing that you’re thankful for today.

Have a great day! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Things You’ll Wish You Didn’t Know

11. On Thanksgiving every year thirteen people die while reading blogs. OK, I made that one up, but the rest might be true because I read them on the internet.

10. FDA regulations allow 10 insects and 35 fruit fly eggs per 8 oz of raisins. Yum! Natures candy!

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9. When the sun goes out we will only have eight minutes and nineteen seconds before it gets very, very cold.

8. Your cell phone has more bacteria than your toilet.

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7. The movie Toy Story is full of references to the movie The Shining. See that carpet in Sid’s room? Same one from the Overlook Hotel in The Shining.

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6. Depending upon the brand of toilet paper you use, fecal matter can travel through up to ten layers.

5. If you can smell it, then there are microscopic particles of it in your nose. We breathe in about a liter of farts per day.

Doll from The Conjuring

Doll from The Conjuring

4. There is a real island to the South of Mexico City that is said to be one of the most haunted places in the world. The place is called, Isle de la Muñecas, or Island of the Dolls, and hanging in its trees are thousands of extremely scary dolls that are constantly watching.The story goes that the caretaker of the island began hanging the dolls up in trees after he found the body of girl in the water. As time went by, the caretaker began to complain that he heard voices whispering for him to come back to the place where he found the drowned girl. No one paid attention until the day he was found dead, drowned in the same place as she had, no witnesses except for the thousands of glass eyes nearby.

3. Over the course of our lifetime we inadvertently eat two pounds of dirt.

2. In the United States 2500 left handed people die every year due to using equipment designed for right handers.

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1. The odds of you dying on your way to buy a lottery tickets are actual better than your odds of winning the lottery.

Which one disturbs you the most? Personally, I’m a little worried about the left handers. I’m not one, but it would be a shame to see their species become extinct. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Reasons I Should Be People’s Sexiest Man Alive

Tomorrow People Magazine will name their Sexiest Man Alive for 2017. I have high hopes, but as usual I assume that People Magazine will pander to the lowest common denominator and choose some allegedly good looking, hunky but mindless actor or musician. Here are my ten reason’s why they should choose me:

10. Because Google Says So: Go to Google Images and Google  “Phil Sexiest Man Alive”. That picture above comes up first. If Google thinks it’s true, it must be.

9. Because I Have A Blog: I have a blog and I published a book. We’re not even sure if most of these pretty boys they choose can read much less write.

8. You Stare At My Picture More Than Theirs: Let’s face it, you’ve been to my blog several times a week over the past year, meaning that you’ve probably seen my little profile pic countless times. Over the past year you’ve looked at my picture far more than whoever People will choose, ergo, I am sexier.

7. I’m all natural: Unlike many previous Sexiest Man Alive winners, I’m all natural. No steroids, hair implants or hair dye. I’m 100% all-American male.

6. I’m Employed: Have you ever noticed that they always choose actors? That’s a fly by night bunch if I ever saw one. Flitting from one job to the next. I’m employed full-time every day and I have health insurance. That’s the American dream right?

5. I’m a Normal Guy: Aren’t we all tired of magazines pushing these unrealistic expectations of what is sexy on us? It’s always rail thin models with implants and “hunky” guys who have no real jobs so they work out all day with a personal trainer. How about if People chose a “real” man for Sexiest Man Alive? A normal guy who is sexy because he’s smart, funny, works hard, and provides for his family? Isn’t that what most women really want at the end of the day instead of an unattainable player?

4. I’m Smart: Now I know nobody is going to mistake me for Leonardo DaVinci, but I’m pretty sure I could crush Leonardo DiCaprio at Jeopardy! Most people think intelligence is sexy. Marilyn Monroe once said that the sexiest man alive was Albert Einstein. I’m not going to give you a lecture on physics, but I can hold up my end of a conversation.  I’m willing to pit myself against any show biz pretty boy in a Jeopardy! challenge. C’mon People magazine! Set it up! Let’s make this years Sexiest Man Alive earn it by being sexy inside and out. How about me, Bill Gates, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson vs. Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper & Ryan Reynolds in a game of Trivial Pursuit? That would be riveting television!

3. I Would Look Great On Money: Why not? Why does money have to feature old,  dead Presidents? Most of them are pretty ugly any way. I propose that each Sexiest Man Alive gets to spend the following year as the face on the American one dollar bill.

2. Gray Hair is Distinguished: All you ladies always say that gray hair makes a man look “handsome” or “distinguished.” Over the past year my hair has been getting gray A.F. as the kids say. If chicks dig a guy with a little salt and pepper action going on, then I’m your man.

1. I’m Already Sexiest Blogger Alive: I was once named Sexiest Blogger Alive  so doesn’t it make sense that I should take the next step and ascend to the real throne? Go ahead, click that link. I dare you.

There you have it, my annual argument why I should be named Sexiest Man Alive. If I don’t win it this year, as a consolation there is one other thing I’d like to win: The AllAuthor.com Cover of The Month Contest. Please click THIS LINK and vote for my book cover. Thank you and have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Ideas For Top Ten Lists

10. The Top Ten Rashes Shaped Like Presidents

9. The Ten Most Horrific Diseases You Didn’t Know About

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8. Ten Ways Your Pets Might Kill You

7. The Ten Worst Ideas for Top Ten Lists

6. Ten Ways To Tell If Your Spouse Doesn’t Love You

5. The Ten Most Painful Things That Could Happen To You

4. Ten Reasons You’ll Never Really Find Happiness

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3. The Ten Most Unusual Bowel Movements Ever 

2. Ten Ways Your Children Will Disappoint You

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1. Ten Things Living Inside Your Body Right Now

So who wants me to actually look up and create lists for all of these? And which one would be the absolute worst for you to read? Or do you have another suggestion for the list? Have a great Tuesday everyone! ~Phil

A Halloween Top Ten: Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

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10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

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7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on today or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! The Top Ten Things YOU Need to Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

( Oct. 28, 2014) This weeks Top Ten list is a first for The Phil Factor. I’m thrilled to have a Top Ten list by indie zombie author Marie Lanza. Some of you will remember Marie from her hilarious interview here back in January. Since January Marie has released her first full length novel, Fractured: Outbreak Zom 813 and The Colony: Isolation which is the second installment in her Colony e-book series.

Marie Lanza

Marie Lanza

Last time Marie appeared here on The Phil Factor we had a fun interview, but this time Marie was kind enough to agree to participate in my Top Ten Tuesday with a list of the Top Ten Things YOU Need to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse.  Here it is:

1. Weapons – Guns, Bullets, Knives, Swords, Machete, Shovel – It all works. Guns will always draw attention, so if you can, using your other weapons is best. Plus, it will help conserve bullets. Avoid non-lethal deterrents; pepper spray or stun guns, you’ll only hurt yourself and possibly be more flavorful for the zombies!

2. Running Shoes – As much walking and running as you’ll be doing, a good pair of shoes is essential. With everything you’ll be dealing with, who wants to suffer from blisters?  Those high-heeled shoes you’ve been dying to wear… ‘nuff said. Unless they’re spiked heels… put those in your weapons pile.

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 3. Bite proof clothing/protective gear – Leather, arm & leg guards. This will help when you’re fighting in close contact with the infected. Fashionable and practical.
 4. Physical Fitness – In both The Colony e-series and my novel Fractured, my characters are strong physically. During the apocalypse, you’ll get winded from the day to day running. Zombies don’t get winded.  Idea for my new workout video: 20 minute workouts for the Zombie apocalypse.
 5. Technology – GPS system, Two-way Radios. In my novel Fractured these were essential for communication for Harmony and Dan to keep in touch with their families. Don’t forget batteries!
 6. Food – MREs, canned food. This stuff will last forever.  Leave the farm fresh salmon behind!
 7. Water – Water bottles, Canteens, Camelbak, Water Purification equipment. You may be able to get away with no food, but no one can survive without water. Water bottles are key. If water sources are potentially contaminated, you don’t want to question whether or not you’re drinking to your own death. Boil anything going into the canteens, camelbaks and even the water you’re filtering through water purification equipment. But the questions remains… does even boiling it kill the virus?
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 8. Lighting – Flashlights, Flares, Candles, Glow Sticks and of course, lighters and matches. In a pinch a mag-light or a flare can make a good weapon!
 9. Storage – Backpack, tactical belt or vest, easy to handle and easy to run with. Don’t make the mistake of duffle bags, over the shoulder or anything that’s not easily carried while you’re running. These items could also get caught on something easier than a backpack, tactical belt or vest. Leave the roller bags at home.
 10. Misc Tools – Swiss Army knife, can opener, duct tape, scissors, batteries and solar chargers.  Look for ‘101 uses for duct tape in a Zombie filled Wasteland’ at a bookstore near you!
Wow! It doesn’t get much better than that. Zombie survival advice from one of the world’s foremost experts! I have to say, I read Marie’s novel Fractured: Outbreak ZOM 813 and I was not disappointed. I’m a Stephen King fan and I loved Marie’s novel. If you want to know what it would be like to survive day to day after a zombie apocalypse this is the book for you. In addition to enjoying Marie’s fantastic novels you can also find her on her radio show The Dirt which you can find on iHeart Radio and TradioV. By all means make sure you also follow Marie on Facebook and Twitter. Like I said though, if you like a good, no, great zombie survival story check out all Marie’s books on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback versions.
As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor and want to help your friends survive the zombie apocalypse please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below.

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Scariest/Creepiest TV Shows Ever

There’s nothing I enjoy more than being on the edge of my seat. I’m not talking horror or gore. I’m talking pure, can’t take your eyes off the screen, I can’t believe this is happening suspense. With the news that the early 90’s classic Twin Peaks would be returning next year with eighteen new episodes I began re-watching seasons 1 & 2 from 1990 and 1991. I also got to thinking about the best suspense TV shows I’ve watched. I’ve watched 8 of the 10 on the list and included the two others on reputation. This is a very subjective list, so if you have other suggestions I’d love to hear them.

Twilight Zone: This may be the original classic suspense show. I didn’t see it in it’s first run, but saw it later in re-runs. I fly fairly regularly for my job and I’m always tempted to yell ‘There’s a man on the wing!” If you get the reference, in the comments tell me what actor screamed it.

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The X-Files: A 90’s classic that returned to the small screen for a limited run last year. It was great in it’s time and improved as it grew in popularity. Not every episode was the perfect cocktail of suspense and disbelief, but it was often enough to make my list.

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American Gothic: Maybe I just like this because I have the painting on a tie. Which is more famous, the painting or the movie? Who heard of one but not the other? I didn’t see this show, but loved the title and heard others give it high praise. You win 50 points to spend in The Phil Factor gift shop if you can tell me, without looking it up, what artist did the famous painting.

LOST: Apparently I’m stuck in the 90’s. For one glorious season LOST was awesomely suspenseful and mysterious. Then the writers all seemed to lose their minds.

The Walking Dead: There’s just so many. So many zombies. Just the tiniest scratch. Any moment you could become one of them. Your group is getting picked off one by one. There could be one or one hundred around any corner. You just never know.

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American Horror Story: I haven’t watched this one. Yet. I plan to, but no one else in my family wants to see it, so I have to find some time to watch when no one is around. That’s the best time to watch scary stuff anyway, right?

In Search Of… Leonard Nimoy rest in peace.  This was a late 70’s-early 80’s show that was part documentary, part reality show where they tried to debunk paranormal phenomena. As a kid I wanted to watch but it always freaked me out.

Kingdom Hospital: Also known as Stephen King’s Kingdom Hospital. This was a one season series that was based on a Danish show.  Look it up on Netflix or Hulu. Completely creepy, suspenseful and weird. I loved it.

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Stranger Things: Check this one out on Netflix. It was a new series for 2016. It’s only 8 episodes but season 2 begins on Oct. 27. This show set out to capture the aura of those cool, creepy 80’s Stephen King based movies and it succeeded brilliantly.

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Twin Peaks: As I said, I recently began re-watching the original series and it stands the test of time. It’s still awesomely creepy and weird. If you were a fan of the show and want to see a funny, hour-long spoof featuring many of the actors and actresses from the original look up the show Psych on Netflix and find the Dual Spires episode in 2010/5th season of the show. After you do that, go back and watch the entire Psych series from season 1. It’s brilliantly funny with a little suspense.

So what did I miss? What would you add to the list and what would you take away? Please give opinions and suggestions. I’d love some good, new or old shows to watch. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil