TBT! Speedos, Cigs, and Vespas

This is one of my favorite posts from 2011. I wrote it after visiting Barcelona and I’m reposting it today because two of my WordPress friends, Suzie Speaks and Anita and Richard of No Particular Place to Go are visiting Barcelona this week. After reading this, go visit their blogs for some absolutely spectacular pictures of an incredible city, (where apparently there was a blog conference that I wasn’t invited to).

Speedos, Cigs, and Vespas! (09/20/2011)

Believe it or not, TSA allowed me on a flight to Europe last week. I think they were hoping I only had a one way ticket because I definitely had an easier time getting out of the U.S. than back into it. My job took me to Spain and I managed not to get into a fight with any one from any country. Apparently The Phil Factor is universally adored.

The trip however, was an education.


1. Europeans are not afraid of lung cancer. How cool is that? In the long run that isn’t a bad thing either because it will result in fewer Europeans. Apparently word that cigarettes are bad for you hasn’t reached Europe yet. The Europeans love their cigs just about anytime of day anyplace they are no matter what they’re doing. The world class hotel I stayed in even had an entire floor of rooms set aside for smokers. Fortunately although I am not a smoker, I was graciously placed on the smoking floor so that I could enjoy the wonderful European ambience.

2. Europeans aren’t afraid of skin cancer either. Based on my observations I think  Europeans are in better physical shape than Americans and they are damn proud of it, especially at the beach in front of my hotel where clothing was optional. Unfortunately much of their pride in their bodies was sadly overestimated by the owners of many of those bodies. There needs to be an upper age limit imposed for beach nudity. And the dudes over there seriously love their Speedos. I saw a guy jogging in a Speedo, and he was smoking at the same time.

3. 9 o’clock is the new 4 o’clock: I think I figured out why the Europeans are in better shape than we are. They eat at weird times. They don’t lunch until about 2 pm and dinner until 9 or 10 pm. If I had to wait until 10 pm for my dinner, most days I would either pass out from low blood sugar or just plain fall asleep and miss the meal altogether.

View from my hotel when I was there

View from my hotel when I was there

4. The Euro rocks: The American dollar may buy less and less these days, but the Euro is awesome. One Euro is like $40 American! Do you know how many Speedos you can buy with a Euro? Me neither. I swear.  Apparently all the Europeans spend their Euro’s on Speedos, cigs and Vespas.

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6 responses to “TBT! Speedos, Cigs, and Vespas

  1. My favourite line – a guy jogging in a speedo and smoking at the same time 🙂

    I don’t smoke and I don’t sunbathe naked (I have deep respect for the age limit on public exposure of my body), but I really want a Vespa. Must be the European blood 😉

  2. We all know you took your Euro
    and went out and bought 10 Speedos
    and though you think your looking macho
    Your neighbors think you are a weirdo.

  3. I may secretly be European (or 3rd generation Italian-American) but I totally want to smoke topless on a beach. And I eat breakfast at 7:30, 9:30, lunch at 2:30, dinner as late as my family will allow. I can’t speak to Vespas.
    But I just vape, fully clothed, on my porch in the woods. Cause smells better and people leave me the hell alone.

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