It’s that time again. Next week People Magazine will name their Sexiest Man Alive. Last year I was oh so close. I’m hoping this is my year. Here is what I wrote about it last year.
(11/20/14) Yes, it was a small crumb of acknowledgement yesterday when People Magazine named me Sexiest Blogger Alive. I’ll take it, but I’m not happy about it. That’s like being named the second smartest Kardashian. I wanted the big award. I wanted Sexiest Man Alive, but again, People overlooked me for a far inferior candidate.
Chris Hemsworth?!!? Are you kidding me People Magazine? I’m not even sure if he’s Captain America, Thor or The Hunger Games! And he’s Australian! Australia has their own People Magazine and they didn’t name him their Sexiest Man Alive. If he can’t win an award in his own country then why should we give him our awards? If he was any good at acting shouldn’t Kangaroo Barbecue Magazine named him Sexiest Bloke in The Outback or some such nonsense?
That’s it. That’s the best picture of Chris Hemsworth that I could find on the internet. There weren’t really that many to be honest with you. Kinda makes me wonder how popular this guy really is. There’s also one more thing I wonder about him. In his family there are three brothers: Liam, Luke, and Chris. Do you see a problem there? I do. His brothers names both start with the letter L. Chris’ name does not. It very clearly starts with the letter C. Suspicious don’t you think?
All the other sibling names start the same, but his is different, making me think that he might be different; perhaps adopted and already had the name so they didn’t change it. If he’s adopted, that means he could be the son of anyone in the world, including Osama Bin Laden. Or worse yet, he might be a Bieber, Lohan or Kardashian! Maybe his name is really Kris Kardashian.
This is what the People Magazine cover should have looked like. I could have and would have volunteered to write my own profile for them. Did Chris do that? I doubt it. In fact we have no proof that he can write. Have you read his blog or any of his books? Of course not! He doesn’t have any blogs or books. He’s a total illiterate as far as I can tell!
So People named an illiterate, girl haired, possible son of Bin Laden their Sexiest Man Alive over me. This is wrong in so many ways. Excuse me, I think I need a moment. If you didn’t click on the links for Sexiest Blogger Alive and Kangaroo Barbecue Magazine you probably should.
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