Category Archives: Humor

Please Let It Be Haunted…

Amityville Horror House

You may be asking yourself, what do I want haunted and why? First of all, why are you asking yourself that? You don’t know! I do and I’m going to tell you.

For the fifth time since The Phil Factor began in 2005, I’m moving to a new residence. Other questions you might be asking yourself are as follows:

1. Why does Phil move so much? 

2. Could he be trying to stay one step ahead of the law?

3. Could he possibly be a secret agent for the FBI, CIA, or MI5?

Was that a poltergeist, or just really kick-ass hi-def tv?

Never mind those questions. They are irrelevant. I’m moving again, and I’m hoping for a haunted house. I’m not hoping for just any run of the mill ghosts who make little noises at night. I want the full on Amityville Horror haunting. I want poltergeists out the ying-yang!

My last home, before the one I’m in now, was lightly haunted and it was enjoyable. I don’t want lightly haunted. This time I want the full on Stranger Thingsmy son is in the upside-down” kind of haunting. I want to see my dog walking on the ceiling and not knowing why. I’ll be running around the house with my cell phone recording myself Blair Witch Project style, only to find myself in the closet facing the wall.

Is this bad mojo to put this idea out into the universe? Probably. Will I regret it? Also probably. But, imagine how great all my paranormal blog posts will be when I’m reporting from my own home! I’ll have video and audio, and I promise I won’t be shouting about orbs. Zak Bagans is a clown. After about ten years he suddenly needs gigantic glasses? Did he go blind because he got an orb in his eye? SMH.

For cripes sake Zak. If you’d stop yelling all the time we might be able to hear the ghost talk in those crappy, static recordings. Every week you act like you’ve never seen a ghost before. And if you want to fight me Zak, I invite you to have your say on my blog and if you’ll invite me to follow you on one of your “investigations”, I’ll write about it. Sounds fair, right?

So here’s my question for you my readers: Answer in the comments, would you live in a haunted house, maybe if it was only lightly haunted?

Have a great Sunday and thanks for reading! ~Phil

STOP THROWING THINGS AT PERFORMERS!

Just the other day Harry Styles, a supremely talented performer, was hit by an object thrown by a fan. What is wrong with you people? I’d like to say this didn’t happen back in my day, but it did happen then as well. (Meat Loaf) As I was researching for this post, incident after incident came up.

People who want to be part of the show are the dumbest people I’ve ever seen. I’ve easily been to over 100 concerts and I don’t think that any concert ever has been made better by an audience member who thinks that because you paid for a ticket you have a right to insert yourself into the performance. Whether it’s a comedian or a musician, inserting yourself into a performance never makes you look good in anyone’s eyes. Dudes, seriously, your dumb ass buddies may laugh at your little prank until the cops take you away, but more importantly, the ladies are not impressed by stupidity.

Singer Bebe Rexha. Pic from Latestly

Yes, I know I sound like a crotchety old man, but inserting yourself by heckling a singer or comedian is idiotic. You are impressing exactly no one. Trying to agitate a comedian is ridiculously stupid. Don’t you realize that they have been on stage for years and are ten times as quick witted as you are dumb.

And why are you idiots throwing your cell phones? They only cost you about a thousand dollars/900 Euros. The celebrities are definitely not going to call you. You just gave them your phone! How smart is that? Now that security has your phone, they can track you down and arrest you. If you want to throw away a thousand bucks, just look up my email in the contact info and send it to me.

Eventually there will be consequences. The ticket prices will rise to weed out the riff-raff. (Yes, sadly I just said riff-raff. I’m getting super old) There will also be barriers. If objects continue to be thrown, they will put up plexiglass barriers between the performers and the audience. How fun will that be?

Remember how during COVID we would get our foreheads scanned when we entered some offices or businesses? If only they could do that but to weed out the dumb asses before they get into concerts.

Any way, that’s my rant for today. If only one of these dumb asses read my blog and learned, I might have made the world marginally better. Sadly, I’m pretty sure the dumb-asses aren’t big on reading. If you dolts want to heckle someone, come here and do it in the comments!

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Are Psychics Real? Uri Geller and I Think So!

Yes, I will continue to use this picture that I created in 2017. See? I knew what you were thinking, because I’m a psychic.

Are psychics real? That’s a big question isn’t it? Many people go to see psychics in a variety of venues for a variety of reasons and a lot of those people report their psychics as being knowledgeable and helpful.

Hmm… I wonder if Uri Geller psychically knows that I’m using his name to attract readers? Probably. Uri, if you’re reading this, I’d love to interview you.

Many “psychics” have made lucrative careers on stage and TV, as well as your local psychic who charges $100/hour for a tarot reading. The question is, do these psychics truly have the ability to read minds, see the past and future, and bend spoons? And, are these psychics qualified to give you advice on important life issues?

I do believe that some people do have legitimate psychic abilities, but that’s probably a much smaller number than the number of people who call themselves psychics.

Picture Courtesy Parade.com

The one group that most people are familiar with is tarot card readers. A person can give a great tarot card reading without being a psychic. Some tarot readers are actually very skilled therapists in how they work with a client through a reading. Some tarot readers are psychic and some are not, but either can be very helpful.

The pictures on the tarot cards are intended to project a general theme that either you or the tarot reader can interpret and expand upon, relating that theme to things in your life. As the tarot reader reveals each card it adds another layer of depth or nuance to the original theme that you or they attached to the first card. Tarot readers are one kind of psychic. There are many others.

Psychic Uri Geller

Another kind of psychic is the reality show/Las Vegas psychic. These type of psychics always make me a little uneasy. Not because I think they are all fakes, but because I think some of them are fakes. The guy in the picture above is psychic Uri Geller, who is best known for bending spoons with his mind. Yes, I believe that he really did that and I really believe that he is a psychic. Why do I believe that? I’m reading a book on his life and he has done so much more than just spoon bending. His life has been so unbelievably crazy that it deserves it’s own post, coming soon after this one. 

Btw Uri, if you’re reading this and know I want to interview you, just send me the answers. I’m sure you already know my questions

In addition to tarot card readings and putting on entertaining stage shows where they channel the spirit and voice of your late Aunt Audrey, psychics have a lot of different ways that their abilities are manifested.

Some can hold an object and tell the history of that particular object. Others have claimed to have the ability to leave their bodies and travel to and observe others. There is what’s called remote viewing, where psychics are able to mentally see what’s going on somewhere else far away. Telepathy, precognition, and telekinesis are some of the topics I’ll be exploring in my next few posts. If there are any other types of psychic phenomena that you’d like to hear more about, just give me a shout in the comments. 

Thanks for reading (my mind) Especially you Uri! ~Phil

How Do You Feel About “Threads”?

Pic from CNN.com

This week Meta/Zuckerberg have launched a social media app that is pretty much the same as Twitter. And it’s clearly no coincidence that he launched it the day after Twitter limited the number of tweets that people could view each day.

Paraphrasing what someone said on Threads today, “Now we have to decide which terrible nerdy billionaire that we hate the least?”  

Pic from The Scotsman

Look at those smug bastards! They’re trying to control our perception of the world and trying to shape that perception to their own personal ideals. Mark my words, it’s only a matter of time until one of them runs for President.

What I find alarming is that with this latest move, Zuckerberg is trying to consolidate all major social media under his Meta umbrella. He has Facebook, Instagram, and now Threads. If Threads truly pulls people away from Twitter, Zuckerberg and his minions will have significant control over a large portion of the worlds populations perception of things.

Also, he’ll be data mining the eff out of us and using that information for anything he and his company want. That’s a worst case scenario.

It’s also possible that this move by Zuckerberg may fracture and divide social media even further. Maybe it’s an opportunity for everyone to find their tribe in different places.  That would be a best case scenario.

What do you think? Have you or will you join Threads?

Happy Friday! ~Phil

My Favorite Paranormal Podcast

To be clear, the podcast is not paranormal. No one is sending it to me psychically. The podcast in question is Greg & Dana’s Haunted Objects Podcast. Over the last several months I have tried several paranormal podcasts. Some are of the “tin hat” type of crowd and others are very knowledgeable and experienced, but the paranormal investigators are not always great broadcasters. Greg, Dana, Connor, and Keelin are anything but boring.

The name of the podcast is misleading. It is about so much more than haunted objects. Greg and Dana are a couple. She’s a self-proclaimed witch and paranormal investigator. He is a paranormal investigator and multi-media producer. Together with their fun loving crew they are producers of some of the most interesting and entertaining paranormal content online, in podcasts, and on TV.

Greg and Dana are also the curators of The Traveling Museum of the Paranormal and Occult. They have an advisory board that includes many of the most experienced and erudite paranormal minds in the business.

On their podcast, they essentially do what I did over the past six weeks with my blog posts, introducing a wide variety of paranormal subjects and exploring the history and science of each different type of paranormal phenomena. They intersperse funny stories from their travels and investigations, and sometimes do experiments to prove or disprove certain phenomena.

The time they went Bigfoot hunting with Jeff Goldblum

Above is a picture from Season 2, episode 5 of Jeff Goldblum’s show The World According to Jeff. That’s the only litmus test that I need. If Jeff Goldblum likes them, then I’m all on board.

If you have a sense of humor, like podcasts and the paranormal, then you need to listen to Greg & Dana’s Haunted Objects podcast.

Also, I would highly recommend that you check out Hellier,  a docuseries on Amazon Prime,  that they produced a few years ago. It follows their several years long paranormal investigation that has some truly bizarre turns. It is so much more fun than those ghost shows.

Also keep your eyes open later this summer for The Unbinding, which chronicles their harrowing experience with a haunted/cursed relic that they discovered in the Catskill region of New York.

 

Hey Greg and Dana, if you ever see this blog post, I’d love to interview you for my blog! Email me Authorphiltaylor@gmail.com or on Twitter @ThePhilFactor

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

What I Did In The Haunted Library

 

As you can see from the pictures, the Ray P. Flower Library in Watertown, New York is a beautiful library inside and out. The library opened in 1905. The funds for the library were donated by Emma Flower Taylor in 1903 as a memorial to her father. Another girl with Daddy issues, am I right? Maybe that explains why these statues are there. Still trying to get daddy’s attention even in the after-life? Emma, when will you ever learn? 

 

I’m here tonight writing this from within the library. (The call is coming from inside the house! Who remembers that line from the movie When a Stranger Calls?)

The ghost of Emma has been spotted by both librarians and others visiting the library. Also, many have reported blood-curdling screams in the basement.  If there wasn’t a security guard and other people here I’d do a whole Blair Witch thing for you right now.

I am sitting in the room in the library that is dedicated to Emma Flower Taylor. My parents were both from this area and I share a surname with Miss Emma Flower Taylor. Could we be related? I have no idea, but it seems likely. 

I spent about 90 minutes hanging around this spectacular library. Sometimes I’d sit in one room or area for a bit and at other times I meandered through the halls and stairwells. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go to the basement. It was roped off.

I even spoke aloud to Emma when no one was around. Nothing. Hoping to provoke a response from her ghost I even did a cartwheel when no one was looking.

Between my cartwheel and my salt & pepper hair, I don’t know how a ghost with daddy issues could ignore me! 

If you’d like to hear some first-person accounts, here’s a video with some of the library staff discussing their experiences with Emma. 

Have a great Thursday, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

 

My Paranormal Investigation of Thompson Park, Watertown, NY

Alien abduction is fun!

So last night I investigated the “interdimensional vortex” in Watertown, NY’s Thompson Park.

Dear Watertown, NY: If you are going to name something after a supernatural phenomena, please get it right. You claim that there’s an “interdimensional vortex” in your park.  Vortex refers to a mass of whirling fluid or air. People disappearing from one spot and ending up in another sounds like stepping into a portal. 

Secondly, if you’re going to have a freaky park located on a road called Gotham Street, why not work in a Batman statue or two? Are you just going to ignore the marketing possibilities of marrying Batman and an interdimensional portal in your park? 

I spent 90 minutes walking around this Batman-less park hoping to accidentally step into a portal that would drop me on the other side of the universe or maybe even just the other side of the park.

At dinner prior to the park, I did have a large glass of water. When will I ever learn? A little while later I was wandering down a trail in the woods of this park and I felt the call of nature. I needed to pee and I was about a mile from the nearest restroom. So, I did what was necessary and I thought to myself, “How cool would it be if I peed into the vortex/portal and on the other side of the universe it landed on some aliens head?”  Sure it might cause an intergalactic war, but also it might be best practical joke ever, right? Then I saw these: Portal potties!

Yes, I was dying to write that joke into this post.

Also, Watertown, NY, if you’ve got one of these towers in your freaky park, why not paint the top of it like a UFO like the Flushing Towers in Men in Black I ? For cripes sake, if I can think of these things, why can’t you guys hire a marketing genius to figure this sh*t out?

So, people have claimed to lose time and/or be transported from one place in the park to another? I did lose 90 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back, but there was no teleportation involved. I decided that this is just the place that teenagers go to have sex and when they come home too late they tell their parents they got teleported to another universe for a couple hours.

One odd thing was that after 90 minutes of walking around and taking pictures on my phone, it was still at 98%, so maybe those elevated electro-magnetic fields kept my phone charged. No portals but a free phone charge, so I’ll call that a win.

Just because nothing weird happened to me in that park doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happened to others. That’s one part of paranormal investigations that you never see on those ghost hunting shows. In paranormal investigations, there’s a lot of quiet waiting around that you can’t edit out when you’re the one investigating.

Come back in 24 hours for my investigation in a haunted library that might have some ancestral connections for me!

Thanks for reading and happy Hump Day! ~Phil

My First Solo Paranormal Investigation: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I have been on a paranormal investigation before. Communicated with some ghosts, and enjoyed the vibe. Over the month of May, I featured posts here focusing on the paranormal. Ghosts, psychics, witchcraft, UFOs, and demons. As I researched for my posts and interviewed some of the best paranormal people out there, I started to think to myself, “Maybe these are my people.”  Don’t worry, I’m not turning The Phil Factor into a completely paranormal blog, yet…

I enjoyed my month of learning how wide-ranging the paranormal specialties are and how often paranormal things intrude into our world. I decided that when I travel for work I’m going to look for opportunities to find the paranormal in the towns and cities I visit.

Watertown, NY‘s Thompson Park is located about a five-hour drive upstate from New York City. Watertown is a small military base city that is literally just a short drive from Canada.

The interesting paranormal phenomenon that allegedly occurs in Thompson Park is that people believe there is an interdimensional vortex. People have reported instances of losing time, getting disoriented, disappearing from one spot and turning up in another, or not turning up at all…

Science fiction has been rife with vortexes or portals since the genre originated. People have long fantasized about a doorway to another place. Teleportation if you will. Is there any chance something like this could be real?

Plasma physicist and NASA-funded researcher Jack Scudder from the University of Iowa has figured out how to find these portals. “We call them X-points or electron diffusion regions. They’re places where the magnetic field of Earth connects to the magnetic field of the Sun, creating an uninterrupted path leading from our own planet to the Sun’s atmosphere 93 million miles away.”

 

Thompson Park has a long history of paranormal reports that real paranormal investigators like Greg Neukerk have checked out. Investigators have found very high electromagnetic fields, which are often typical in areas of high paranormal activity. If you look back at the comments from the NASA scientist, he mentioned the magnetic fields of two places connecting. What if some localized electromagnetic fields connected? Couldn’t that create a short portal or vortex phenomenon?

Do you know what is also often found in close proximity to paranormal events? Military bases, like the one in Watertown, New York. Even more odd is the fact that the government’s code name for the infamous Area 51 in Nevada is “Watertown.”  I don’t suppose that’s an accident. With New York state ranking 5th among the states for UFO/UAP sightings, maybe something interesting is going on at the Fort Drum military base that may be bleeding over into the park.

Picture from Lite87.com

So this evening, I’m going to walk around Thompson Park and see what happens. Then, when I get back to my hotel, I’ll sit down at the hotel bar and chat up the military contractors that are always there, and ask them if they’ve seen anything unusual when they’re at the base.

Also, I’ll come back here and add an addendum to let you know that I returned safely from the vortex. If I disappeared after writing this blog post, how weirdly creepy would that be?

Addendum: I made it back safely without teleportation. Look tomorrow morning for my write up of the “investigation”.

Thanks for reading and wish me luck! ~Phil

My Afterlife To-Do List

In 2023 it has been disconcerting to see so many people, possibly more famous and probably wealthier than me, pass away and I’m realizing it’s possible I may not be able to avoid death.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have no plans to die, but as I get older I like to hedge my bets a little. Hell, if Jerry Springer can’t dodge the Grim Reaper, what chance do I have?

img-thing

That’s my favorite Grim Reaper. He’s from a cartoon my kids watched. I thought he was particularly funny because he had a Jamaican accent. That’s the first item on my After-Life To Do List: If I’m going to allow myself to be escorted to the other realm it’s got to be him, that Jamaican Grim Reaper. It’s impossible to stay mad at anyone with a Jamaican accent. C’mon man. It will be alright. Let me show you around. Being dead ain’t no big ting… If it’s not him, I’m not going.

Prior to my death, and possibly as soon as this week, I’m going to choose my house to haunt. Who says that you have to haunt your own house? What’s to stop me from haunting The Bachelor house? There’s always people home, so I’d never be bored. I could participate by doing ghosty kind of stuff. How great would The Bachelor be if the vapid but beautiful dolts were all living in a haunted house for three months? And how about if the ghost gets to choose who leaves the house each week by making some mysterious sign, like a mark on a chalkboard or something? I’m totally going to pitch this idea to the producers. I’m putting it in my will just in case I don’t get the contract signed before I pass.

59690fcc18fece3ab7fa52fe516a622a_400x400

List of people to haunt: I’m making this list and including in my will that invites be sent out to my funeral. Only the date of the funeral will have to be filled in.  I’m pre-signing the invites now  with the phrase “See YOU soon!” How creepy would it be to get one of those? Also, at my funeral I want everyone there to stand up and read their favorite Phil Factor aloud.

Choose My After-Life Occupation: If I have eternity ahead of me, I don’t want to retire yet. Sitting around playing checkers with the old guys at McDonald’s in the afterlife sounds boring. In the after-life I’m going to be a real estate agent helping the recently deceased find the home of their dreams to haunt.

Ugh, this lady is the worst. This is a real online ad. Who wants a ghost-free house?

Me as an afterlife real estate agent: This lovely colonial on a cul-de-sac has five of the living, four bedrooms and two and a half baths..

Recently Deceased: What about pets? I hate pets. Dogs always barking at me. Cats getting spooked when I’m trying to stand quietly in the corner watching TV. They can see us you know.

Me: So are pets a deal breaker for you?

Recently deceased: What about Jennifer Lopez? I’d love to haunt Jennifer Lopez.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. Her house just went off the market last month. How about Justin Bieber?

Recently Deceased: Ugh. No thanks.

Phil found his time as a ghost comedian to be both odd and confusing.

Phil found his time as a ghost comedian to be both odd and confusing.

After-Life Hobbies: I never want to be all work and no play, so I’m going to be an amateur stand-up comedian in my spare time. Spare time? I’m dead. All my time is spare! See? I’m writing jokes for the after-life already. Man, I am gonna brighten that place up.

Blogging: Yup, I’m going to continue. I’ve been doing this blog for 18 years. Why should I let death stop me? I’ve pre-written an extra post a week for the last ten years and scheduled them to be released on a regular schedule after my transition to the after-life, Heck, I could be dead already and you wouldn’t know! Why else would I be writing about death?

So, as you can see, there’s lots to do in the after-life, and I don’t want to show up unprepared. What do you want to do after you die?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

copyright ThePhilFactor 2023

Legendary Creatures & Cryptid Stuff with Author JW Ocker

You might be asking yourself, what is a cryptid?  You may not know the word, but you have definitely heard of specific cryptids. Does the name Bigfoot ring a bell? How about The Loch Ness Monster? Those are the big name headliners in a field called cryptozoology. To borrow from JW Ocker’s book, “a cryptid is a creature or species whose existence is scientifically unproven.”

Author JW Ocker does not take cryptids as seriously as cryptozoologists do, but he’s all in on the fun of the possibility of cryptids, and I’m with him on that! Wouldn’t it be a wonderful, fun world if all those legends like the Mothman, The Jersey Devil, and the Loch Ness Monster were all true?  Let’s get on with the interview!

Picture from CNBC

TPF: How did your interest in the paranormal begin?

JW: As a kid I liked monsters and I was also raised religious, so soul-deep in gods and demons, but it wasn’t until college or thereafter that I really started digging the strange in a real way. Probably at that moment when I got my first real job and a place all my own and was supposed to start getting serious about life. I looked out at that landscape and realized, “Ah. The regular world kind of sucks. Guess I’ll be spooky instead.”

TPF: Which of the creatures you wrote about is your favorite, and why?

JW: The Mothman. It’s got a great story arc (most cryptid stories peter out, but the Mothman story raises to a climax with the collapse of the Silver Bridge), but also because Point Pleasant supports its creature in a way that has become the template for all other cryptid towns. Plus, you can explore the TNT area where the creature was most often sighted and pretend it’s the late 1960s and it could pop up anytime with its glowing red eyes and freaky motionless flying.

The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp-Pic from Redbubble

TPF: Which creature would scare you the most if you came upon it in the wild?

JW: The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp or, if you can count them, Gray Aliens. The former is because a humanoid reptile just sounds like it could mess you up more than anything else in cryptid lore (minus the water monsters, which is a totally different fear). The latter is mostly because of the movie Communion.

TPF: What did you do before you figured out that you could make a living writing about interesting oddities?

JW: Oh, I can’t. Not and keep my family in Bigfoot t-shirts. I’m also a strategist at an agency in Boston. That basically means I tell stories for businesses, which is a lot like telling paranormal stories except that the monsters all wear suits and I’ve got to pitch them to rooms full of people with “Chief” in their titles.

TPF: Those monsters sound scarier than anything else we’ve discussed here!

 

TPF: When I look at your collection of books, it seems like you’ve covered almost everything. Do you have a work in progress right now, and if so what is it about?

JW: I’m currently working on a book about cults that will come out next year. There’s still a ton of weirdness out there I want to tackle, but after my last three nonfiction books–cursed objects, cryptids, and cults–I might just be out of c-words.

Thank you for your time JW. I’m completely enjoying Cryptids and I’m planning some trips in hopes of seeing a Jersey Devil or maybe a Snallygaster! To my readers, JW is a fun follow on social media and has a website: OddThingsIveSeen.com which is always a fun read. You can also find him on Facebook. In addition to his paranormal subjects, he also has quite a few fiction novels for both young readers and adults. You can find his entire collection on Amazon!

Have a great Saturday everyone, and come back tomorrow for my interview with a demonologist who will be appearing on The Travel Channel in the coming week! ~Phil