It occurred to me that if I did want to buy my true love the 12 days of Christmas from the song that I probably could get it on Amazon. Here’s what it would cost:
1. A partridge in a pear tree: On Amazon you could get a “Partridges and Pears” snow globe for $50.00 American.
2. Two turtle doves: Two turtles doves figurines would cost you: $22.88
3. Three French Hens: A Three French Hens Queen comforter would run you $109.
4. Four calling birds: A four calling birds Christmas ornament would cost you: $20.98. Notice that it’s all been birds so far? Whoever wrote this song has a thing for poultry!
5. Five Golden Rings: I may sound cheap, but I found a set of three plain band gold rings for $7.99. To get five, I’d but two sets for a total of $15.98.
6. Six Geese a laying: Jeez! More poultry! For this I’d go with the Six Geese A Laying coasters: $29.97 but they’re not on Prime, so order them early!
7. Seven Swans a swimming: More poultry! I’m starting to suspect a fetish here. For this I’d order the Seven Swans album by Sufjan Stevens on vinyl. $19.98
8. Eight Maids a milking: For this I’d have to go with the Eight Maids A Milking canvas tote bag for $17.95. Chicks dig tote bags.
9. Nine Ladies Dancing: I know where to find nine ladies dancing, but I’m pretty sure my true love doesn’t want to go there, so, on Amazon I’d buy her this mug for $12.96:
10. Ten Lords a Leaping: I’d buy her Ten Lords A Leaping: A Father Christmas Mystery, the novel in hardcover for $25.00
11. Eleven Pipers Piping: I’d choose the Eleven Pipers Piping Christmas ornament for $64.95.
12. Twelve drummers drumming: Yeah, there’s a bunch of ornaments and t-shirts for the 12 drummers drumming, but why not let my true love march to the beat of a different drummer? The book is $9.83.
So, if you were to shop for the !2 Days of Christmas for your true love using only Amazon, your grand total would be: $399.48. If your true love isn’t happy with that, then it’s time to get a new true love.
Have a great Christmas Eve! ~Phil
