Buying 12 Days of Christmas on Amazon would cost you…

It occurred to me that if I did want to buy my true love the 12 days of Christmas from the song that I probably could get it on Amazon. Here’s what it would cost:

1. A partridge in a pear tree: On Amazon you could get a “Partridges and Pears” snow globe for  $50.00 American.

2. Two turtle doves: Two turtles doves figurines would cost you: $22.88

3. Three French Hens: A Three French Hens Queen comforter would run you $109.

4. Four calling birds: A four calling birds Christmas ornament would cost you: $20.98. Notice that it’s all been birds so far? Whoever wrote this song has a thing for poultry!

5. Five Golden Rings: I may sound cheap, but I found  a set of three plain band gold rings for $7.99. To get five, I’d but two sets for a total of $15.98.

6. Six Geese a laying: Jeez! More poultry! For this I’d go with the Six Geese A Laying coasters: $29.97 but they’re not on Prime, so order them early!

7. Seven Swans a swimming: More poultry! I’m starting to suspect a fetish here. For this I’d order the Seven Swans album  by Sufjan Stevens on vinyl. $19.98 

8. Eight Maids a milking: For this I’d have to go with the Eight Maids A Milking canvas tote bag for $17.95. Chicks dig tote bags.

9. Nine Ladies Dancing: I know where to find nine ladies dancing, but I’m pretty sure my true love doesn’t want to go there, so, on Amazon I’d buy her this mug for $12.96:

10. Ten Lords a Leaping: I’d buy her Ten Lords A Leaping: A Father Christmas Mystery, the novel in hardcover for $25.00

11. Eleven Pipers Piping: I’d choose the Eleven Pipers Piping Christmas ornament for $64.95.

12. Twelve drummers drumming: Yeah, there’s a bunch of ornaments and t-shirts for the 12 drummers drumming, but why not let my true love march to the beat of a different drummer? The book is $9.83. 

So, if you were to shop for the !2 Days of Christmas for your true love using only Amazon, your grand total would be: $399.48. If your true love isn’t happy with that, then it’s time to get a new true love.

Have a great Christmas Eve! ~Phil

10 responses to “Buying 12 Days of Christmas on Amazon would cost you…

  1. Have you ever thought about what would happen if the real things arrived? Here’s a very sad tale http://www.monologues.co.uk/Parodies/Twelve_Days_Correspondence.htm

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for doing the homework. “Poultry” takes a bit of the charm out if it but a fetish is a fetish. To each his own. Merry Christmas 🎁 and a wonderful New Year.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great list Phil! Have a very merry Christmas!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow, there are some really hideous gifts on that list! 😂 Merry Christmas, Phil!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I think I’m going to stick with what I already have. Thanks for the legwork, Phil. Merry Christmas.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This is such a creative post! Good job! Merry Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m glad you did all that research, & I totally appreciate this post, well done. $400? Not a bad price for all that stuff- and what cost Love hey?? 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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