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The other day I got a really lame fortune cookie fortune. It was something like “Don’t stick your arm in a wood chipper or you’ll be up in arms.” It got me thinking that not all fortunes are fortunate. Here are the ten worst fortune cookie fortunes:
10. That time that you thought no one saw you, someone did.
9. You should probably get that rash checked out. It’s worse than it seems.
8. Calm down. That girl in accounting flirts with everybody.
7. If you’re looking for wisdom in a fortune cookie you’re a moron.
6. You should probably brush up your resume’.
5. Your blog isn’t as funny as you think.
4. Avoid nude beaches. Please.
3. Don’t eat any Chinese food today. It will make you very ill. No, seriously, stay near a bathroom.
2. A bird in the hand will probably crap in your palm.
1. Don’t worry about the expiration date on your milk. Don’t ask how I know. I just do.
So what’s the best fortune you’ve ever gotten? Did you ever have any come true? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
