Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Awesomest Reality Shows

Until someone decides to make a reality show about a certain blogger, these are some of the more interesting reality shows out there.

DIY network &youtube.com

DIY network &youtube.com

Vanilla Ice Goes Amish: Two of my favorite things! This show has ‘ten year run’ written all over it.

My Strange Addiction: Because it shows people addicted to all manner of weird behavior it may seem like taking advantage of the mentally ill, but a lot of it is professionals trying to help these people.

Sunset Daze: It’s a geriatric Jersey Shore. I want to retire to this community!

popsugar.com

popsugar.com

Mr. Personality: This is no longer on the air. It was hosted by Monica Lewinsky (I love anything with kitschy b-list celebs) and it was the typical dating/choose the love of your life type show except for one difference; then men all wore really goofy masks so the woman really had to choose based on personality.

seattlepi.com

seattlepi.com

Heroes of Cosplay: A show about the people that spend way too much time creating elaborate costumes to wear to comic book conventions. FYI, “cosplay” is short for costume play.

hitflix.com

hitflix.com

My Big Fat Revenge: I’ve never seen it, but this one sounds really awesome. They take someone who is overweight and was picked on or bullied by someone in their life. Then they get them in shape and give them a chance to kick the bullies ass.

Naked and Afraid: Pretty much a description of my sex life. I love this show even though, oddly, I’ve only seen it with the sound off. I watch it when I’m on a machine at the gym. Two strangers are dropped in a jungle naked with only a few items in a bag and they have to survive for three weeks. Trust me, they may be naked, but after a couple days in the jungle it’s not a sexy kind of naked.

nypost.com & Discovery channel

nypost.com & Discovery channel

Sperm Race: In 2005, German TV ran a show where men “donated” sperm, and then watched as their little swimmers raced each other to an egg. Doctors on hand confirmed the winner, and that guy, the guy with the fastest sperm, won a car. If this was on in the U.S. guys would be lining up around the block to get on the show.

H8R: People were interviewed as to why why they hate particular C-list celebrities and then were confronted by said celebrity. The rest of the episode shows the person spending time with the celebrity to try to change their minds. I think the show has already been cancelled. It’s too bad because I’m sure some of my rants here would qualify me for a date with Justin Bieber.

BieberWheelchairPhil

Wrestling with Death: A family that runs a funeral home also does semi-professional wrestling in their spare time. I wonder if they practice their sleeper hold on the cadavers.

I was going to put in a fake one and see if anyone could guess which was the fake show, but I couldn’t think of anything as ridiculous as any of the real ones. Trust me, be thankful I didn’t include some of the shows from the non-English speaking countries. They get seriously weird. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Music Monday! A Song As Old as The Phil Factor

This was the number 1 song in the U.S. this week in 2005. Why did I pick this? Because I love Kelly Clarkson? No! I chose it because this week in 2005 was when I launched The Phil Factor. Since this song, Gone, was released in late 2004, Kelly has also released songs titled Already Gone and Since You Been Gone. I think Kelly’s ability to come up with original song titles is what’s really gone.

Have a great Monday! ~Phil

Three Things…

I usually don’t post on Sundays, preferring to let my literary work of art from Saturday have time to breathe and soak in the usual adoration (yes, tongue in cheek here) but I had a few odds and ends I wanted to get out there.

1. Apparently someone named Zayn Malik left a band called One Direction. So there’s a job opening? *Rushes to LinkedIn to brush up resume. Uploads video to Youtube*

2. Yesterday I posted a hilarious post about how people Googling “real sexting conversations to read in Hindi” keep ending up at my blog. In response to that post Marissa of Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth said this in the comments:

I once dated a Hindi man
Who came to America from Pakistan
We tried sexting quite a bit
I never got the hang of it
The Hindi characters were confusing
I didn’t know which I was using
One day I sent him a text and then
I never did hear back from him
It must have been pretty bad
I think I said something dirty about his dad.

Click on the link for her blog and go follow her. She’s always hilarious.

3. My high school friend Debbie started a blog this week.  She is also very funny. Go follow her at Little Debbie

Have a great Sunday! ~ Phil

 

Real Sexting Conversations To Read in Hindi?

Over the past three months or so the title of this post has been appearing repeatedly in the list of search terms that brought people to my blog. Hindi is one of the official languages of India, where approximately 94% of the world’s Hindi speaking people reside. I don’t speak or write in Hindi, nor have I ever, yet through some modern miracle of Google technology, sexting in Hindi is apparently what search engines think my blog is about, so I figured what the heck? Why not put it in the title of a post and see if I could make every internet server in India burst into flames simultaneously this morning.

imgur.com & BBC

imgur.com & BBC

The title is an attention grabber though isn’t it? You’re reading this, so it obviously worked. The fact that the title has been such a popular search term recently makes me wonder if the entire country of India just discovered the art of sexting. Is there going to be a new Kama Sutra written to include Hindi sexting? No offense to any of my Indian friends or readers, but I’m sorry, I can’t imagine any Indian dudes sounding at all sexy when they’re trying to sext. Go ahead, imagine an Indian accent talking sexy to you. The chicks, of course they would sound great. The dudes, I just don’t see it. Ladies, what do you think? If I think of an Indian guy, it’s Raj from The Big Bang Theory. 

fanpop.com

fanpop.com

Is that the face of smoldering Indian sensuality all you ladies want to imagine? Sorry Kunal. I’m sure you didn’t want to be dragged into this. You’re probably a very nice guy who, being a TV star, has no trouble with female companionship. Or male companionship. I don’t know what you’re into and I probably shouldn’t start rumors among all your countrymen and women who are reading this. Although Kunal, if you are having trouble finding your perfect match here’s a wonderful Hindi dating website that can help you.

Of course now the phrase ‘Hindi dating website’ will be a popular search term that will pull even more people to #ThePhilFactor, so I might as well try to help out. As long as you’re here Hindi folks, if you’re looking for the love of your life, put your pertinent information in the comments section and maybe another of my Hindi fans will do the same and you two can go out for a froyo and celebrate Holi together. (For you dolts who just thought, “He should have said Diwali”, don’t be idiots. Diwali is in the Fall. Holi is the Indian spring celebration)
image

That’s a picture from a Holi celebration in India. Looks like fun huh? You can imagine that after a couple glasses of Feni in a crowd like that …..

I’ve got to admit that my humorous mojo was thrown for a loop in the middle of this. I was in the midst of writing it when my entire neighborhood lost electricity, so I’ve been sitting here in candlelight, like the Amish, writing this on my cell phone. Thank Vishnu that I got my coffee made before the lights went out.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your love starved Hindi friends by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or reblog button below. Whatever you do though, please do not sext me in Hindi. सप्ताहांत बहुत अच्छा गुजरे! Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Life is funny. So laugh.

Phil Taylor:

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the blog world my high school friend Debbie Christiansen. She brings her successful Facebook comedy act to the big stage here in the blogosphere, Please give her a like and a follow.

Originally posted on little debbie:

When I was a kid I was terribly shy. Hard to believe coming from a girl who thrives on talking to strangers and posts her most bizarre daily events on Facebook, but it’s true.

Once, while attending a birthday party at the age of five, I was asked if I’d like a piece of cake and responded with “No thank you Mrs. Campbell, I’ll just go home.” I even peed my chair during a spelling test in elementary school because I was terrified to raise my hand.
But, somewhere along the way, I grew out of that (thank goodness, right?)…and here I am starting a blog.

What’s my blog about? To quote Seinfeld, “nothing.” Well…not nothing, but kind of.

My poor parents had to look at this when I woke up from a nap.

For some reason I come in contact with weird people, or do stupid things on a daily basis…

View original 46 more words

TBT: Dear President Obama

dm_130320_ncb_obama_baracketology

(03/13/2013) This is my open letter to you, President Obama, and yes, I know you’ll hear about this because Michelle subscribes to The Phil Factor on her Amazon Kindle  to read while she’s home alone when you’re on those “business trips.” (yes, that’s right. For just 99 cents a month you can get The Phil Factor delivered right to your Kindle wirelessly)

Look Barack, I’m glad you’re a sports fan. Good for you. You’re a regular guy just like the rest of us. What I’m not o.k. with is you going on ESPN every year to fill out your NCAA March Madness bracket. I’m not saying you can’t do one. Just don’t go on t.v. for 30 minutes to fill it out. 1) I don’t care about your picks unless you’re actually in the same office pool as me, and 2) IT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE PAYING YOU TO DO!!!

Here’s the deal: my taxes pay your salary, ergo, that makes me and every American your boss. Guess what? Wherever I’ve ever worked they frown on employees wasting time gambling. We usually hide the hours we spend researching our brackets from the boss. We don’t invite the boss to play, so that we can pretend we didn’t waste half the week filling out our brackets and collecting money from everyone. The boss knows we do it, but he or she also likes to pretend that their employees aren’t spending most of a week screwing off. But you, you don’t even pretend you’re working! You bring in ESPN and set up a giant white board in your office and spend half a day explaining why Cals pick and roll has a real chance to give Kentucky fits in the 2nd round. Guess what Barack? I don’t care how much you know about basketball.

You know what I’d be really impressed with is if you pulled out a white board during your State of The Union address and showed a bracket full of evil dictators and communist countries that the U.S. is going to defeat.  If the whole world was hunky dory and we weren’t involved in any wars or recessions or gas prices were reasonable, sure, go ahead, take a breather and relax! It’s like as a kid, when your chores are done you can go out and play. But for the money you’re making I wanna see my President at work 24/7.

Obama_NCAA_Princeton_Green_Bay_Basketball.JPEG-01f25_c0-344-5164-3354_s561x327

Just for being President for two terms you’re set for life financially and you get free lifetime security. That’s a pretty sweet deal. As part of that deal I kind of would like it if you didn’t treat that job like your own personal fantasy camp.  Since you took office there’s been more jocks in the White House than the Lambeau field locker room. Did I mention that me and everyone else are paying for that with our taxes? Yeah, now get back to work.

I’m not saying you can’t do an office pool with the cabinet. Remember when I said that the rest of us hide it from the boss when we waste work time on petty gambling? It’s when you get cocky and flaunt it in front of the boss that you get in trouble.  Here, if you’re so fond of petty gambling on the job, how about this: my NCAA bracket versus yours. You win, you get to stay President. I win, I get your job.

If you’d like to support my NCAA tournament bracket you can check out my humorous murder mystery novel White Picket Prisons  on all the finest e-retailers. As always, if you like what you read here please hit the Facebook Like or Share buttons. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday: Wall Therapy

Another of the many murals you can find all over my city. This was painted by  artist  Emmanuel Jarus.

Photo by Tomas Flint

Photo by Tomas Flint

The Wall Therapy project is also now available online through the Google Art Project as well.  Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil