Wordless Wednesday! Street Art

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Another mural from my city. Have a great Wednesday!

~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons NOT to do The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Justin Bieber Picture credit: www.onenewspage.com

Justin Bieber
Picture credit: http://www.onenewspage.com

That’s right, apparently at a loss for any petty crimes or misdemeanors, even the Biebs did it.

10. 

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Yup, that’s right. There’s no reason not to. Yes, it’s popular and trendy to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, but guess what? It’s also for a good cause. You don’t want to be shown up by Justin Bieber do you? If you don’t want to pour cold water over your head you can still help. I’ll give you two ways:

1) Click this link: ALS to go to their donation page and donate.

2) Click on one of my books in the sidebar and buy it for your Kindle, Nook, or iPad, then put a comment on this post saying which one you bought and I will donate 100% of what I would get from that sale to The ALS Association.  If you buy a paperback let me know. I’ll take your word for it. C’mon, make me pay! Share this post by Facebook, Twitter, or re-blogging so that I have to donate an ice bucket full of cash! If you do your part I’ll do mine. That is my Ice Bucket Challenge to you! #IceBucketChallenge #StrikeOutALS

 

Hotel Hell

I have to travel occasionally for my job. Part of that travel is staying in hotels. Before you read the rest of this post I want you to know that I love staying in hotels. The room is always clean. You leave and come back and someone has made your bed. For these two things alone I would live in a hotel for the rest of my life if that were possible. But there are a few things that bug me…

Picture credit: driveaccord.net

Picture credit: driveaccord.net

Mandatory Valet Parking: I’m not worried about valet’s taking my car for joyrides like in Ferris Bueller. It’s not that great of a car.  I wish I went to a hotel with valets that cool. A hotel I occasionally have to stay at has mandatory valet parking. They are absolutely fanatical about it. The hotel feels the need to have full control of my vehicle, as if their parking garage is some sort of super secret military installation. I can see the lot where they’re going to put my car. It’s not a long walk and I’d prefer to just park it myself and walk in. That, however, is not an option. Neither is them handing over your keys if you need to go get something from your own car.  First the valet offered to go to my car and get what I needed. When I said I’d rather go rummage through my car myself they grudgingly allowed me to handle my own keys, but had a valet accompany me to my car to allegedly make sure I didn’t get myself run over. I think they’re hiding something. Maybe prostitutes turning tricks in my car during the night? He quickly took my keys back, probably to prevent me from seeing what they’re hiding, or from driving anywhere without tipping him. The next morning I wanted to put some things in my car before going to a meeting in the hotel. Guess what? This valet was so insistent about not giving up the keys that I gave up and just told him to throw it in the back seat. If I got my car back and they had converted it, adding all sorts of James Bond type modifications I’d be cool with that, but that never happens. It’s still the same crappy little car I brought there and I had to tip them for not letting me touch my own car for two days.

Picture credit: blog.memberclicks.com

Picture credit: blog.memberclicks.com

The Elevator People: These people are so annoying that this post was almost completely about them. The Elevator People are those people who just cannot relax about the elevator. If you’re standing with them waiting for an elevator they’re hitting the button repeatedly, like an angry woodpecker on Red Bull, until the elevator arrives. I imagine that if they’re in the elevator they pace furiously back and forth like a caged lion. They’re even more annoying if you’re in the elevator they want to get into. They wait in front of the elevator on their toes, ready to launch themselves into the metal box the moment those doors slide open. If you’re inside the elevator when it opens and you start to walk out you’re suddenly face to face with one of these tightly wound creatures because they had to charge into the elevator, never imagining that anyone might be inside. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law making it perfectly legal to punch these people right in the forehead if they attempt to enter the elevator before you’ve gotten out. Hey ladies, imagine if your guy was like this about sex. Just pushing the button over and over until the doors open and then rushing in immediately. Oh wait, we are like that.

The receipt under the door: Most hotels now have elves that sneak around in the dark of night to slip your receipt under your door while you sleep. I find that kind of creepy. Just leave me the hell alone while I’m sleeping! I don’t want to know that a stranger is lurking outside my door. This past hotel stay there was apparently a tremendous thunderstorm during the night that woke my co-workers. Not me. I slept straight through until…until I heard a pack of monkeys foraging for food outside my door. From the time and noise it took I was certain that the monkeys, with banshee-like intensity, had dis-assembled the Sunday New York Times and page by page, crumpled it up and forced it under my door.

I hope you enjoyed your stay at The Phil Factor. I’ll have the valet pull your car up. As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

 

Follow Friday!

Social Media icons

On Twitter every Friday is Follow Friday. People post a list of people they like to follow and encourage their followers to follow them. It’s a big social media love fest. I thought I’d continue the tradition here. In the comments post your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media link you have. Everybody that replies to this should follow everyone else in comments and vice-versa. In the immortal words of Genesis, “if you follow me I will follow you.” You can follow me on FacebookTwitter and Instagram by clicking these links.

Have a great Friday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursdays! The Interminable Terminal

Originally seen on The Phil Factor 08/10/2013

airplane

“Stop calling me Shirley!” I had to fly this week for work, and as always air travel is an adventure. Figuring that Mondays are busy at airports, because of all the business travelers, I got there about two hours before my flight to give me plenty of time to wait in lines and get some lunch before I got on my plane. All went as I had planned until I got to my gate about 15 minutes before the alleged boarding was to occur. My flight was delayed for an hour. So I got all Edward Snowden-like and went up to the girl at the Cinnabon counter and requested asylum. She didn’t seem to appreciate, or understand,  my brilliant current events humor.

I was flying somewhere for a job interview that I was very excited about and while I sat there waiting for my flight to board all I could think of was the verse from the Alanis Morrisette song Ironic  that goes: Mr. Play it Safe was afraid to fly, He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye, He waited his whole damn life to take that flight, And as the plane crashed down he thought “Well isn’t this nice…” And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think? Yup. Seriously. I couldn’t stop that song from playing in my head like it was on a loop. How awful is that?

My comedic genius was also not appreciated at the security check where, just for fun, when I stepped into that tall, round telephone booth-like scanner where you hold your hands over your head, as soon as it started I screamed as if my skin was on fire just to rattle the first time fliers nearby.

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That kind of behavior may explain why my checked luggage was searched on both my way to my destination and on my return the next day. I had a small suitcase. When I got to my hotel and opened it, it appeared as if the contents had been ransacked by a rabid monkey on Red Bull. Of course it had one of those oh-so-courteous notes telling me that TSA had “inspected” my luggage. My brother works for TSA, so I’m considering photoshopping a picture of him in his TSA uniform doing something terribly unspeakable with the President and putting that photo in my suitcase just to give them something else to think about next time they inspect my luggage. I’m also saving that TSA letter and putting it in my luggage when I pack just to confuse them the next time they do it.

Lastly, if airplanes are so technologically advanced that they can do whatever voodoo it is that makes a 200 ton object float in midair for hours, why do they still use the seat belts from a 1955 Buick Skylark?

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If only I had my own airline…

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As always, if you enjoyed your stay at #ThePhilFactor please return your seatbacks and tray tables to the upright position and click the Facebook, Twitter, or reblog share button below before deplaning. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesdays: I’ll have the red and the orange

Wordless Wednesdays because sometimes I do know when to shut up.

Wine Sunset

Have a happy Hump Day! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Robin Williams’ Ten Best Roles

For a man who was chronically unhappy with himself Robin Williams brought a lot of happiness into our world. Ironically, the mental health issues which likely contributed to his suicide may also be at least partly responsible for some of his brilliant comedy. When we think of Robin Williams we think of the laughs first, but he also played some very serious roles brilliantly. I chose these ten as my favorites partly because I wanted a cross section of his career that showed all the sides of his genius.

10. Simon Roberts in the 2013-2014 TV series The Crazy Ones: Although he has five movies that are in post-production, this is the last thing we’ll have seen him in while he was still with us. He played the madcap, creative genius ad exec perfectly. It wasn’t the best show ever, but Robin Williams had the chance to showcase his comedic brilliance with a fun cast.

9. Good Will Hunting: When he hugged Matt Damon and said, “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” If you didn’t have a tear in your eye then I don’t want to know you.

8. Aladdin: He was the second best genie ever, behind only Barbara Eden, for obvious reasons.

7. Mrs. Doubtfire: Best bad movie ever. After watching that movie I went to school in drag for a year.

6. Patch Adams: After watching this I forever judge my doctors on their sense of humor. So far no one compares.

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5. Awakenings: Robin could sure play the crap out of any doctor role he got.

4. Good Morning Viet Nam: Adrian Cronauer. So memorable that his characters catch phrase was used by Michael Scott in an episode of The Office twenty years later.

3. The Fisher King: A wonderfully touching story of redemption starring Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges.

2. Professor Keating in Dead Poets Society: To the rest of us, it always seemed like Robin Williams lived by his characters motto of Carpe Diem!

mork

1. Mork on Mork and Mindy: Worst character name ever, but best comedic character ever. This was his first starring role and to most of us old enough to have watched the show Robin will forever be Mork.

If I didn’t include your favorite Robin Williams role, what was it and why did you like him in that role so much?

As always, feel free to share #ThePhilFactor on Facebook, Twitter and by re-blogging. Have a great Tuesday! Nanu Nanu!

~Phil