Hopefully I don’t drone on about drones or else someone may send a drone to my house. With the news this week that Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has a four year drone degree, it looks like there’s no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. We should have seen this coming. Operating drones remotely is just an extension of the video game culture that many of today’s leaders grew up in. Seriously though, there can’t be so many terrorist leaders that the drones are working full-time around the clock right? So I thought that there’s got to be some other great ways to put this technology to use.
10. That picture is why Amazon can have all my money. Someday I’ll order something from Amazon.com and a drone will deliver it. Once I tried to get Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos to do an interview for The Phil Factor and was turned down. Doesn’t matter. I still love Amazon. (BTW all my books are there too)
9. Pizza delivery: It made big news last year when Dominos test drove a drone pizza delivery, but sadly the Russians beat us to it. Last month a drone from DoDo Pizza in Russia delivered a pizza in 30 minutes by unmanned drone. Go ahead and click DoDo Pizza, it’s really the website from Russia! Last year in California some geniuses created The Burrito Bomber, a drone that drops burritos with parachutes.
8. Neighborhood watch: There was a bit of an uproar last year when in the press someone floated the idea of drones performing surveillance in the United States. People were shouting about their civil liberties and rights to privacy. Me? I don’t care. If you’re doing nothing wrong, who cares if someone’s watching? Hey, suns out, guns out. The drones can watch me cut my lawn all day long. I’ll even take off my shirt.
7. Yard Work: If I had a drone I could trim hedges and trees without even leaving the porch.
6. Take my dogs for a walk: I’m pretty sure my dogs are not thrilled with this idea, but in the winter I am not a fan of taking my dogs out first thing in the morning. I’ll just tie their leashes to a drone and send them all outdoors.
5. Stalking made easy! No more online hacking, Facebook trolling or hiding in bushes! In the old days stalking was a lot of work, but no more! If you’ve got a sick, psychopathic obsession let the drones do all the work.
4. Zombie apocalypse preparedness: Why risk your life going outside to kill zombies by hand? With your own weaponized drone you can kill zombies safely and hole up inside for years, as long as the Domino’s Pizza drones are still delivering.
3. The Bieber Solution: Need I say more?
2. Delivering Phil Factor merchandise! Seriously, if I had stickers and t-shirts made who would want one?
1. Makin’ it rain with The Strip Club Drone: You know how when you’re at a Gentleman’s Club you sometimes need to join the ladies on stage and just throw money everywhere? Yeah, me neither. With The Strip Club Drone you can avoid all that icky physical contact and show your appreciation for the highly skilled professional entertainers by sending your donations by drone.
Please feel free to share your own suggestions in the comments. As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor feel freee to share by Facebook, Twitter or reblogging. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil