Tag Archives: Top Ten Tuesdays

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Most Famous People in the World!

Posted on April 11, 2017 | 52 comments

The list is from CuriosityHuman.com, the commentary for each is mine. CuriosityHuman did not specify if the list is in any specific order, so I’ll make my own.

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10. Tom Hardy, actor: I knew the name but couldn’t tell you a single movie he’s been in. It turns out that he’s been in a lot of good ones. He’s not nearly as famous as his brothers Ed, Frank, and Joe. If anybody gets that joke, please say so in the comments.

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9. Narenda Modi, Prime Minister of India: I have to admit I’ve never heard of this guy, but if he’s the boss of a country of 1.25 billion people and 4.5 billion technology customer service call centers, he’s pretty damn influential.

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8. Angela Merkel, Supermodel: A couple of my smarter readers, both of them, will recognize the supermodel joke. Angela Merkel is a German politician. My only guess for her being rated this famous is that she must be the one that knocked down the Berlin Wall. I always thought it was David Hasselhoff who did it.

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7. Larry Page & Sergey Brinn: Bueller? Bueller? Yeah, off the top of my head the names are familiar, but I wouldn’t automatically shout out Google founders! Hey Larry and Sergey, let me ask you this: How in the hell does a magician from Rancho Cucamonga who calls himself Phil Factor rank higher in a Google search for ‘The Phil Factor’ than my blog, which is called The Phil Factor? I get a couple thousand page views a week! You can’t tell me that there are a more people each week looking for a magician named Phil? Take that and stick it in your algorithm. Yes, I realize that by hyperlinking to Google, the magicians site and my site that I’ve created an infinite improbability loop that will shut down the internet if anyone clicks all three links.

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6. Ryan Reynolds: Good looking actor, never done much of note until last years Deadpool. But, 19 years ago I watched a little know sitcom that only lasted three years called Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place, and I pegged Ryan Reynolds as a future star. That show was hilarious. Go back and find it.

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5. Leonardo DeCaprio: A great actor. Certainly deserving of his place on this list. If I had a choice of five people I could switch places with, he might be on the list just because of this GIF.

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4. Adele: If you’re known by one name, you’re doing pretty damn good in your life, or you’re infamous for something evil. Until Adele goes on a killing spree, she is doing pretty damn good in her life. Ten years ago we had no idea who she was and now she’s top ten famous? Then again, ten years ago you had no idea who I was and now you’re reading my blog! I guess I’m not doing too bad either.

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3. Hillary Clinton: Had she won the Presidency she’d be number one on the list, but unfortunately, she is likely to be an interesting footnote in future history books.

2. Justin Bieber: He’s really famous alright, but would he be as famous if he weren’t such an asshat? I doubt it. Last week my friend Suzie wrote a post titled: Things I’ve Learned in Four Years of Blogging. She said that she got harassed in her comments by some middle-aged house frau’s that were sticking up for The Biebs. Well ladies, if you love that moron so much, bring it on. Feel free to fill my comments section with your sad, misguided hatred (of your own life).

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1. Donald Trump: Notice that the top two are both loved and hated, while the people that are universally loved don’t rank as high? Being hated may be more of a fame maker than being universally liked.

So, if you made a list, who would you add to this and who would you remove? If you’re from another country, would this list be different for you? Comments! Comments please! Have a great Tuesday! ~ Phil

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Posted in Humor, pop culture, Top Ten

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Top Ten Tuesday! Top Ten Rejected Yankee Candle Scents

Posted on March 28, 2017 | 46 comments

This idea occurred to me the other day when I was writing Do You smell Like a Sociopath. Yankee Candle has literally 55 different scents that you can buy candles in. They have scents like My Serenity, and Kilimanjaro Stars. Really? How the hell does Yankee Candle know what My Serenity smells like? You know what My serenity smells like? It smells like bourbon and beef jerky. Nobody wants that candle! Kilimanjaro Stars? How can you smell stars? Space is a vacuum. In space nobody can smell you scream. That was a movie tag line wasn’t it? Any who, without further adieu, here are ten scents that didn’t quite make the cut at Yankee Candle:

10. 

9. 

8. 

7. 

6. 

5. 

4. 

3. 

2. 

1. 

First off, I’d like to thank the people of the internet. I was going to make up my own list, but when I Googled the subject there were already great ideas with pictures. Secondly, trust me, you should thank me for not choosing to include many of the grosser ideas that people made pictures for. Thirdly, Yankee Candle Company please don’t sue #ThePhilFactor. I didn’t make these up. I’m just the messenger. Have a great Tuesday everyone! ~Phil

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Posted in Humor, Top Ten

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Fun Safe Words! 

Posted on March 14, 2017 | 27 comments

Yes, I’m going there. I don’t know who you are, but I’d wager a guess there’s a few of you adventurous enough in the bedroom that you use “safe words”. The genesis of this post was my discovery that someone had Googled “a safe word and a rib eye” and ended up at #ThePhilFactor. So, I figured that if the people that need safe words are going to be here, I might as well be helpful. Here’s ten safe words that will definitely kill the mood:

10. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  It’s especially effective at ending any sexual escapade if you say it in a Mary Poppins voice. Also, what’s really impressive is that I spelled it correctly without looking it up. That’s hot, right ladies?

9. Cattywampus: It’s an old, goofy way to say kitty corner. It just sounds funny.

8. It’s fine: It’s never good when someone says this. Especially women. And when they do, it’s usually followed by a sigh and an eye roll.

7. Bob’s your uncle: It’s a British term that means everything is good. Said in an American bedroom I think most people would think WTF? Or possibly, why is she talking about my Uncle? In the U.K. you may not want to use this as a safe word. 

6. We need to talk: Also, never a good phrase. That will stop most any activity.

5. Collywobbles: An old fashioned word that means you are about to forcefully return the contents of your stomach into the wild to roam free, as in “You’d better not do that. I’ve got the collywobbles.”

4. Finifugal: It’s a funny word that literally means that you’re afraid to finish something. Perfect for a safe word, right? You can say it three times like Beetlejuice. Finifugal! Finifugal!Finifugal!

3. Bumfluff McNichols: I’m pretty sure if you shout that, it’s an attention grabber. It’s also the name of a guy on Twitter. I thought it was funny and it stuck in my head.

2. “I’m your brother/sister” Ugh. Tell me that wouldn’t be a show stopper, right?

1. The Phil Factor: Just once, somebody out there use this and let me know.

So, not that you need them, but what would be your suggestions for a funny safe word?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

27 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten

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Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Best TV Show Theme Songs Ever

Posted on August 16, 2016 | 42 comments

Thanks to the Netflix/Hulu era, everyone in every country can watch the popular TV shows from anywhere, so regardless of your home country, I hope you’ll know some of these. Although this is going to be a very United States centric list, I’d love to hear suggestions and maybe links in the comments to anything from anywhere else. This was the toughest Top Ten list that I’ve ever put together.

10. Scooby Doo: Yes, the cartoon theme song. I requested that this be played for my first dance at my wedding but  my bride Velma objected.

9. The Golden Girls: I can’t vouch for this because I never watched the show, but in a lot of other online lists this was included. I didn’t even listen to it when I added it to this list.

8. The Love Boat: Love, exciting and new. Climb aboard, we’re expecting you! When I was a kid I had very little realization that the entire show was about people trying to have sex on a cruise.

7. The Big Bang Theory: A masterpiece by the quick singing lyrical geniuses of The Barenaked Ladies.

6. Family Guy: How could you not sing along to this?

5. Mission Impossible: No lyrics, but iconic nonetheless. Who doesn’t feel some sort of pressure to get something done quickly when you hear this?

4. The Brady Bunch: “All of them had hair of gold, like their mother.”  Who doesn’t know that line?

3. Friends: I hate to be the hipster guy who says “I knew this band before anyone heard of them”, but yeah, I had their album before the Friend’s theme song on cassette tape, so suck it losers.

2. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: This is still Will Smith’s best work to date.

1. Cheers: Who doesn’t want a bar that feels like home where everyone knows your name?

That’s it. I feel like I needed to make this a Top 20 list to include all the worthy possibilities. What would you add to the list? What would you take off of it? My blogging friend Haylee recently did a great post about TV theme songs as well. You can check it out HERE

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

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Posted in Humor, pop culture, television, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday, Uncategorized

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Top Ten Tuesday! My Top Ten Favorite Top Tens

Posted on April 12, 2016 | 7 comments

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I don’t repeat my Top Tens like I do my feature posts on Throwback Thursday, so once a year I revisit my favorite Top Tens. (Also, this is what happens when I don’t plan ahead) These are my personal funniest favorites. The links are live. Enjoy!

Ten Reasons I Won’t Date Taylor Swift

Ten Sexy Quotes from Yelp Restaurant Reviews

Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

Top Ten Amish Facebook Status Updates

Ten Situations That Should Be Solved By a Rap Battle

The Top Ten Things Brian Williams Made Up

Ten Amish TV Shows There Should Be

Ten People I’d Like To Punch

Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Spider-man

The Top Ten Things I Don’t Want To Be Doing if I’m Frozen in Time by a Volcano

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Movies I’d Give An Oscar To

Posted on February 23, 2016 | 23 comments

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Five days from now a bunch of Hollywood types will gather somewhere in Los Angeles to pat themselves on the back until all their arms break and the television audience falls asleep. Lost in all the ridiculous boredom will be the fact that they are giving all the awards to all the wrong movies. Here are ten movies from various years that I believe deserved an Oscar:

10: Star Wars: Only the original will do. Sequels? we don’t need no stinkin’ sequels! This one wins the Oscar for coolest sci-fi effects a little kid has ever seen.

9. Men in Black: If you haven’t seen Men in Black III you should. It’s a nice wrap up to the series.

8. Deadpool: Yeah, I know it just came out two weeks ago, but it is by far the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time.

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7. Nothing in Common: An early Tom Hanks classic. Last movie that Jackie Gleason ever made. A great romantic comedy that nobody but me remembers.

6. Summer School: This is one of those shut off your brain and enjoy mindless comedies. Starring Mark Harmon, Kirstie Allie and Courtney Thorne-Smith.

5. The Hangover: This one should stand the test of time as one of the best comedies ever.

4. Toy Story: This gets the nod here over Toy Story 3 because it was the original. Toy Story 3 has more humor for adults.

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3. Zombieland: A funny, cool zombie movie. If the Walking Dead was half as good as this movie I’d watch it. Walking Dead could also use a hilarious Bill Murray cameo like Zombieland.

2. The ‘Burbs: Evil neighbors? I’m pretty sure if I were a movie character I’d be Tom Hanks friend from this movie. Trust me. Go watch it.

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1. The Princess Bride: I think this movie spawned more funny quotes that we remember than any other.

Yes, I realize that most of these are ridiculous choices, but they’re some of my favorite movies ever. What are your favorite movies that you’d give Oscars to if it was up to you? C’mon, don’t let me down! Let me hear your choices in the comments.

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Posted in movie, pop culture, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons To Hate The Holidays?

Posted on December 15, 2015 | 14 comments

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You’re a mean one Mister Grinch. You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch. You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

Yup, that’s me; King of sarcasm and hater of all things jolly. I’m not saying that there aren’t things to love about the holidays. There are plenty, but c’mon everybody, if we’re truly being honest with ourselves, there are a lot of things to hate about the holidays. Here’s my top ten, and in the spirit of a gift that keeps on giving, I’m hoping I’ll mention one or two things you haven’t noticed before and from this day forward you won’t be able to not notice them.

10. Candy canes: They’re sticky. That’s pretty much it. I like the minty flavor, but I can get that in a York Peppermint Patty without my lips, tongue and hands covered in a gross, viscous substance. And they make too many! Has anyone ever eaten all the candy canes they purchase each year? There must be landfills just overflowing with candy canes. If we could make fossil fuel out of leftover candy canes the world would be a better place.

9. The Nog Shortage: All holiday season everything is nog this and nog that. It’s hard to find a beverage that doesn’t offer a nog flavored option. (kind of like the Fall pumpkin influx) But then, if you like nog you’re screwed about 8 weeks later. Apparently nog is such a rare and valuable commodity that it can only be offered for a limited time. I’m going to get rich by drilling a nog well in my backyard and then selling my nog at outrageous prices. I will also have a Nog Blog.

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8.  Holiday movies set in southern California: I hate them because the people in them always look so happy to go outside and hang lights on their palm trees. Jerks. They’re just flaunting their warm weather and lack of snow. If you want a holiday movie to make me happy, how about one where a bunch of So-Cal people are stranded in an avalanche in the Himalayas and they have to eat each other to survive.

iStockphoto.com/KonArt

iStockphoto.com/KonArt

7. More traffic: This ones pretty obvious, but for cripes sake you idiots! Haven’t you heard of the internet? I don’t care how much I love someone, nobody is worth going to the mall for from now until mid-January.

6. Lazy Hollywood folks: All our regular shows go on hiatus and show re-runs for 6 weeks. Seriously? You people make billions off these shows and you only make 22 episodes a year? That’s only five and a half months of work! When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that every television program is required to produce a holiday special and one other original episode during the months of December and January.

5.  Lines in every store ALL the time: Yes, this one’s pretty obvious. It’s just a good thing no one sells handguns as an impulse buy item at the checkouts. Then again, I don’t live in the south, maybe they do there.

4. Frozen: I don’t even have a young Disney Princess obsessed daughter and I’m sick and tired of this stupid movie. I’m sick of the songs and the pictures everywhere. I’ve never seen it and I don’t know what it’s about, but enough already! It’s just another Disney movie where the parents are dead right? I challenge Disney to make some movies where they don’t kill parents as a cheap emotional hook at the beginning.

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3.  Commercials: I’ve never walked out to my driveway or garage to find a car with a bow on it. I’ve seen some version of this commercial since I was a kid, completely setting me up with unrealistic expectations.  Look, Bill Gates, I know you and your wife donate millions to charitable causes, just once could you skip a few mosquito nets and vaccines and have a Lexus delivered to my driveway?

2. Religious differences: It’s hard to believe, but not every religion has their most important, most exciting holiday in December. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m passing a law stating that all religions have to have their biggest holiday at the same time so we can easily sort out the school schedules, sales, and work vacations, Makes sense doesn’t it? And just to show that I’m not Christianity-centric, let’s do it in July in the northern hemisphere and December in the southern hemisphere. That way no one has to deal with snow when traveling to see the relatives, unless you’re stupid enough to live where there’s always snow.

1. Santa Claus: And you thought they’re milking the Batman and Spider-Man characters for all their worth? St. Nick hasn’t changed in centuries! Jeez, get that guy a cape and some superpowers. How awesome would that be if he had a nemesis that was out trying to stop him from delivering presents. God has the devil, Batman has the Joker, why can’t Santa have a nemesis?

Please put your holiday pet peeves in the comments. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor don’t be a Grinch and share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or reblog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

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Posted in Humor, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Sexy Quotes From Yelp Restaurant Reviews

Posted on October 6, 2015 | 11 comments

I’m visiting the city of Austin, Texas for work this week and my friends and I were looking for a restaurant to go out to dinner. On Yelp I came across the restaurant Fogo de Chao, a Brazillian steak house. I read some reviews that seemed overly effusive and verging on pornographic. Apparently some people really, really love meat in ways that maybe they shouldn’t.

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10. “The party really started once I flipped over my little red coaster to its green side, which seemed to have magically summoned hordes of men with skewers of meat, asking me if I would like some and just how bloody” (sounds like they were at a male strip club)

9.” the meat parade just never ended”

8. “THEIR BREAD ROLLS ARE SO CUTE AND GOOD I WANTED TO TAKE THEM HOME BUT I TOLD MYSELF NO.” (yes, this idiot was so excited about the rolls that she went all caps. If you have to set limits with yourself related to abducting bread rolls then maybe you should be dining in a psych ward)

7. “WARNING –  due to the graphic carnivorous content contained in this review, vegetarian and vegan discretion is advised. Meaning, you may want to skip it, or read it with your eyes closed.” (How can you “read it with your eyes closed“? If you put this kind of time and creativity into a restaurant review, you need to get a life)

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6. “Bless me father, for I have sinned…. The sin – carnivorous gluttony.” 

5. “At this point, you might have meat-sweats onset anxiety, but embrace rather than fear the meat-sweats; it just means you are doing Life right.” (If you’re so out of shape that eating makes you work up a sweat then you should probably back away from the buffet.)

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4.”A friend took me here for a meat orgy, ahem, I mean dinner last week. WOW… I think I gave birth to med-rare bovine triplets the next day,”  (This review put a mental picture in my head that I don’t think I can get out if I’m eating there.)

3.”…pão de queijo – or warm cheese bread made from Yucca flour and Parmesan that is airy, fluffy and reminds me of a cheesy cloud of Yorkshire Pudding. Needless to say, if you hit that too early on, you will not get your money’s worth on the meat.”  (“if you hit that too early on”? Hit that? I don’t think of my food that way. “..airy, fluffy, cheesy cloud”? Maybe this person passed away of a heart attack while eating there and wrote their review as they approached the airy, fluffy clouds surrounding the pearly gates.  “if you hit that too early on”? Hit that? I don’t think of my food that way.

2. “me screaming, “No! No thank you! Nooooo!” to the waiters that stuck their meat sticks in my face” This does not sound like it was a consensual meal!

1. “Don’t want to fill up on greens, no worries, a parade of “eye candy” posing as waiters in gauchos with meat on a skewer walk by and shower you with your choice of prime cuts”  (this is also from the woman who had “bovine triplets.” I think she has some needs that a restaurant can’t legally meet (or should it be meat?)

Have a great Tuesday and eat well! ~Phil

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Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Causes of Writer’s Block

Posted on September 29, 2015 | 11 comments
I love the angry baby

I love the angry baby

The curse of writer’s of all types is writer’s block; the desire to write but the sensation of having all your ideas bottled up somewhere behind a locked door in your brain. I thought of the idea for this list because I was having writer’s block about what to write a Top Ten list about. To be honest, my free flowing idiocy that I post every Saturday comes to me as naturally as breathing. Coming up with a Top Ten topic that people will want to read is far more challenging. Here are the Top Ten things that cause my writer’s block. What are yours?

10. Snacks: Today it was those orange cheese crackers with the peanut butter, tomorrow it might be Cheez-Its. Apparently I have a thing for fake orange food.

9. Television: Damn you Netflix!

8.  The Internet: Why does there have to be so much stuff on the internet?

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7. My cell phone: It’s related to the internet.

6. My dog: She’s learned how to act like she has to pee just so I’ll take her outside to smell things for 10 minutes.

5. The outdoors: I rather like it when the weather’s good.

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4. Hilarious memes: My 17 year old son tells me I’m “lame” for liking memes. He’s an idiot right? At least I don’t make too many, right?

3. Blogging: I know, ironic, right? When I should be writing for my novel I find myself here blogging.

2. Actual typing: If I didn’t have to type anything, I would write so much! If I could just think or say aloud and have it automatically typed for me I’d be all set. Yes, I know there are computer programs that do that. I tried one once. It was terrible.

1. Fantasy football: I’d say that it’s my secret shame, but I’m not ashamed. When I first started writing over ten years ago it was fantasy football I wrote about. Unfortunately it takes a lot of research to be good at it and I like winning.

Those are my ten causes of writer’s block. What are some of yours?

Have a great Tuesday!~Phil

11 Comments

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Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Pumpkin Flavored Ideas

Posted on September 8, 2015 | 40 comments

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Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when pumpkin invades anything and everything that can be eaten or drank. Ugh. I love pumpkin pie, but I hate the flavor in anything else. Of these ten abomination to humanity pumpkin flavored ideas, only one is fake. Can you guess what it is? Put your guess in the comments.

10. Burger King Japan’s Pumpkin Bomb Burger: To be honest, I’m surprised this burger only exists in Japan. Also, considering their history of bombing by the United States, it seems to be a cruel joke for an American company to sell the Japanese a “Bomb” burger.

9. Pumpkin Pie Vodka: This is one of those things where you think to yourself either, “Oh hell no!” or “Someone just has too much time on their hands,” or perhaps “They already had to be drunk on vodka to come up with this idea.”

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8. Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses: If Pumpkin Spice was one of the Spice Girls I’d probably say Yum!  Pumpkin flavor in my chocolate? Yuck!

7. Pumpkin Spice Pringles: Yes! Finally pumpkin flavored potato chips. I’m kidding. I can barely stand potato chips (or crisps for my UK friends) that taste like actual potatoes. Why would I want chips tasting like pumpkin?

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6. Pumpkin Spice Mini-Wheats: I’m not entirely sure that Mini-Wheats aren’t corrugated cardboard, so I suppose adding pumpkin can’t make them any worse.

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5. Pumpkin Spice Condoms: I’m speechless about this one. Can’t even think of a joke that’s funnier than the reality of this.

4. Lucy’s Gluten Free, Peanut Free Pumpkin Patch Cookies: Hmm… you took out gluten and nuts and added pumpkin to cookies? That’s like taking sauce and cheese out of pizza and adding..umm…well.. something really bad, like pumpkin. If my kids misbehaved I’d punish them by making them eat these.

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3. Pumpkin Spice Peeps: This is just wrong. The word abomination comes to mind.

2. Pumpkin Spice Flax Granola Bars: Actually I don’t find anything wrong with this. If you’re going to eat something that tastes like crap, why not make it pumpkin flavored crap?

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1. Pumpkin flavored soda! When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to commission a task force to find the people that make these kind of things and make them stop.

Ok, one of those ten items is not real, but all the rest are. Put your guess which one isn’t real in the comments.

 

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Posted in Current Events, Humor, pop culture

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