I don’t know if the rest of the world is freaking out about this Ebola thing, but I know the U.S. is, and there’s only been four people in the U.S. with ebola. As a public service I’m using this weeks top ten list to put the ebola “crisis” into perspective. In other words, there are a whole bunch of others things you should be a lot more worried about.
10. Lightning strikes: Not to be confused with “lightening” strikes which is when hairdressers stop working and no one can get their highlights done. Since 2006 276 people have died from lightning strikes, and 13 were on a beach when it happened! You’re more likely to die from lightning on the beach than you are from ebola.
9. Alcohol poisoning: About 50 people die of their own stupidity every year.
8. Roller coasters: In the U.S. about four people die every year on roller coasters, meaning that you’re more likely to die at Disney World than of ebola.
7. Electrocution: Aside from the lightning strikes, over 400 people die every year from other means of electrocution and that doesn’t include those strapped into a chair. That’s about 400 times more than the number of people who have died of ebola in the U.S.
6. Poisonous Gas: Death by poisonous gas is the cause of 700 deaths each year, and that doesn’t include the spouses of those who are lactose intolerant.
5. Car accidents: Duh! Over 43,000 people die in car accidents in the U.S. each year. Yeah, we had the state of Maine losing their minds because a nurse who had no signs of ebola wanted to leave her house. If we considered the possibility or frequency of fatal car accidents would we ever get in a car?
4. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Who remembers that awesome commercial? Accidental falls kill almost 15,000 people a year, and none of them fell on ebola.
3. Get Off! Mosquitos, or rather the malaria carried by them, results in over 3 million human deaths per year. Mosquitos: scary. Ebola: not so much.
2. Man’s best friend isn’t always so friendly: Pet dogs account for about 30 deaths per year in the U.S. The lesson learned is that you should always feed your dogs on time, or really whenever they want. Keep them full.
1. Getting a coconut in the coconut: As the weather gets colder many people look forward to a tropical get away. Unfortunately roughly 150 of them die from a coconut falling on their head. And it isn’t a coconut full of ebola either.
I’ve gotta say, doing the research for this list was not fun. Death sucks no matter how it happens, but chances are that when your time comes, it won’t be ebola. Calm down everybody. One thing I’m sure of is that no one has ever died of The Phil Factor, so feel free to share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog buttons below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil