Last week I was reading someone’s blog and they noted that as far as they could tell, they had never had a reader from Greenland. I of course said I had a huge following in #Greenland. I was lying. So, in an effort to increase my readers from Greenland I did a little research. Very little. It was tough to find ten facts about Greenland on the internet because outside of Greenland, nobody really knows what goes on there. Here are 10 possibly true facts about Greenland:
10. Taylor Swift HATES Greenland: Three of her breakup songs are about Greenland.
9. Greenland is considered part of North America: Like the nose picking kid in elementary school that no one wants to do a school project with, nobody really wanted it as part of their continent, but the United Nations had to assign it to somebody.
8. What happens in Greenland Stays in Greenland: They originated that motto, but when no one could figure out what happens in Greenland they let Las Vegas have it.
7. Greenland should have been named Whiteland because the name Iceland was already taken and 75-80% of Greenland is covered by ice and snow.
6. Cartographers are morons: Despite how it looks on maps, Greenland is actually a third the size of Australia.
5. Dora the Explorer refuses to explore Greenland. In fact she said, “Who the hell wants to go there? It’s fecking cold all year. No thank you.” I don’t know. I was watching and it was in Spanish, but I think that’s what she said.
4. When that “ice bucket challenge” was going on the people in Greenland were actually daring each other to pour warm water over their heads. Unfortunately they couldn’t find any. (Warm water that is, not their heads. They found those right on top of their necks.)
3. Greenland was originally settled by aliens, but the aliens left to settle on the dark side of Pluto where it’s warmer.
2. Greenland is where Australia sends their criminals.
1. Game of Thrones is a documentary about modern day Greenland: Very few people are aware that dragons and boobs are native to Greenland.
I wasn’t able to find any information on the internet to dispute these facts and since there is literally only one internet provider in Greenland, no one there may ever read this. If you know anyone from #Greenland please share this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below so that we can get confirmation of these facts. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil