Last week I was reading someone’s blog and they noted that as far as they could tell, they had never had a reader from Greenland. I of course said I had a huge following in #Greenland. I was lying. So, in an effort to increase my readers from Greenland I did a little research. Very little. It was tough to find ten facts about Greenland on the internet because outside of Greenland, nobody really knows what goes on there. Here are 10 possibly true facts about Greenland:
10. Taylor Swift HATES Greenland: Three of her breakup songs are about Greenland.
9. Greenland is considered part of North America: Like the nose picking kid in elementary school that no one wants to do a school project with, nobody really wanted it as part of their continent, but the United Nations had to assign it to somebody.
8. What happens in Greenland Stays in Greenland: They originated that motto, but when no one could figure out what happens in Greenland they let Las Vegas have it.
7. Greenland should have been named Whiteland because the name Iceland was already taken and 75-80% of Greenland is covered by ice and snow.
6. Cartographers are morons: Despite how it looks on maps, Greenland is actually a third the size of Australia.
5. Dora the Explorer refuses to explore Greenland. In fact she said, “Who the hell wants to go there? It’s fecking cold all year. No thank you.” I don’t know. I was watching and it was in Spanish, but I think that’s what she said.
4. When that “ice bucket challenge” was going on the people in Greenland were actually daring each other to pour warm water over their heads. Unfortunately they couldn’t find any. (Warm water that is, not their heads. They found those right on top of their necks.)
3. Greenland was originally settled by aliens, but the aliens left to settle on the dark side of Pluto where it’s warmer.
2. Greenland is where Australia sends their criminals.
1. Game of Thrones is a documentary about modern day Greenland: Very few people are aware that dragons and boobs are native to Greenland.
I wasn’t able to find any information on the internet to dispute these facts and since there is literally only one internet provider in Greenland, no one there may ever read this. If you know anyone from #Greenland please share this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below so that we can get confirmation of these facts. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Hey Phil – good luck with that “view”….#6 made me laugh out loud!!
So far after about 2 1/2 hours I still haven’t gotten view from Greenland.
Those 57,000 jerks!!
Halfway through the day and I’ve got two views from the country of Oman but none from Greenland. You’re right. They are jerks.
Gah. There’s got to be a way!!
I know. Ive
Oops. I know! There’s got to be a way. Mark my words, I will get a view from Greenland by the end of the week.
And #6 really is true.
Good one! #2 was my favourite … and the Westeros weather forecast … 😀
I’m guessing you know that Greenland belongs to Denmark? I’ve never understood why the winter olympics have not been held in Greenland yet. Afterall, it could be held in Summer when most of Greenland has 24 hours of daylight.
Yes, I know the Denmark affiliation, but oddly it really is considered part of North America.
That Greenland winter Olympics in the summer is a great idea. The network ratings usually lag in the summer. A spectacle like that would give them a boost at a time they don’t usually get one.
Yes, that is odd as I would have thought Europe rather than North America. I guess the people of Greenland voted for that. If global warming continues I wonder if Greenland will shrink?
As a child, I always thought Greenland was part of Canada…I don’t know if that’s changed despite your enlightening post and now I want to visit that part of Canada. 😉
It’s actually considered part of Denmark and North America at the same time.
Makes sense, but I still want it to be just part of Canada. 😉
If I was still in a band
I probably would play Greenland
Because what happens in Greenland
They say it stays in Greenland
But we’d probably be banned
And never get to play Greenland
I’ve thought this for years about Greenland after never ever hearing or seeing anyone say they have been there or lived there and even started to think it was a made up place like Narnia. I was also gutted when I found out Narnia wasn’t real too! I’m going to start a petition for Greenland to enter the Eurovision Song Contest so they can make themselves known.
Greenland only has 57,000 people so its pretty small population-wise
What do you call the people from there?
Oooo harsh. I’m doing my own research now, this has intrigued me some more. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Lynge
I did learn a lot about Greenland. Perhaps we never see visits from Greenland in our stats is because it is part of Denmark. Maybe the visits get registered as coming from Denmark.
Upon my research, I’d say we don’t see them on our stats because they are all either drunk or have killed themselves as the suicide and alcoholism rate there is one of the highest in the world.
This does make me think, I don’t see any Scandinavian countries on my stats. Ever. How did I manage to offend all of them? Can I do that with the spammers from whichever country they are writing from?
I get Sweden occasionally. I can’t remember if Holland or Finland has ever stopped by.
Don’t worry. I’m on the case. I’m working on getting a Greenlander to interview or do a guest post.
The Taylor Swift photo and caption made me laugh at the start. Then the Dora the Explorer and aliens preferring Pluto stuff would have finished me, until I got to the Australia crack, which make me LOL.
Another funny list, Phil : )
You’re welcome–thanks for the laughs!
That’s “made”. Must be time for bed.
It sure looks like part of N America given its geographical location…and yet it’s not on the WP stats page. (Looking at a February snapshot, it’s not present at all, lit or unlit.)
A lot of people have said they’ve never gotten a read from Greenland. I thought that maybe the Greenland reads were registering as Denmark, but today a friend told me that she finally
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