Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on Friday or refuse to answer your door for the kids Saturday night then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

23 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

  1. Me and my cousins used to revisit, but wearing different masks. 🙂
    Cool list.
    My Halloween TTT: https://samwhitehousewriter.wordpress.com/2015/10/27/top-ten-tuesday-halloween-top-ten-fictional-fighters-of-evil/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Whoa! You aren’t messing around with this Halloween stuff, are you?! A very good list and I concur on each and every point!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Stripes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. (oh, and I agree with your list. completely!)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. hahaha I concur! oh and . . ‘Stripes’ and ‘How I Met Your Mother’.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t dress up on the 31st
    Like a punk rocker or sexy nurse
    It’s not that it is not my scene
    Cause every day is Halloween

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marissa, my interview subject from yesterday read your comment and offered his apologies about the lack of bands statement. He explained that he was referring to a particular part of NYC near Bainbridge Avenue I think. If you want to give me your email I’ll forward you his comments. I did explain to him that your comment was because you were in a band in the city in the 90’s.

      Like

    • He also clarified that he meant there was a lack of bands willing to play for sets a night like they did.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Good grief where did you live if there was a possibility of a razor blade in an apple???

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have to admit I’m guilty of number 9 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I love your list, but nope … I still don’t *get* Hallowe’en. That doesn’t stop me from having a disgusting amount of candy on hand for the trick-or-treaters, or loving the little ones in their costumes, but I just don’t get the attraction.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love Halloween, too. We’ve already worn our costumes to two events. I like to get my money’s worth. I grew up in California and still live here. September is no good for Halloween. It’s too hot. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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