Tag Archives: Halloween

The 10 Scariest Movies of the Last 15 Years

Posted on October 17, 2026 | 4 comments

 

I’m not a huge horror or scary movie fan, but it’s Halloween season and I bet some of you love a good scare. I haven’t seen all of these movies, but I’ve seen a few. If you want to get your scare on in the next few weeks, here are some great movies! The order is really random. They are all good.

1. Obsession: A fantastic psychological thriller that will have you completely creeped out by the end. The Bartender stole the show with his otherworldly line, “open or closed.” I’m still having nightmares about that. on Instagram you can follow him @MalcolmKelner

2. Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

This is a South Korean horror movie that is super scary and the subtitles, although the scenes tell the story,  make it even better. I watched this one and loved it. This is truly a must watch.

3. Weapons: This was the darling in 2025, so much so that Amy Madigan won an Oscar earlier this year for Supporting Actress. This is as much funny as it is scary. It was a debate in my household. My boys, who are adults, thoroughly enjoyed it. If you’re ready to suspend belief for a bit, you’ll get pulled in.

4. The Babadook:

Until today, I hadn’t heard of this 2014 movie, and it is literally on every horror movie top ten list. I’m going to watch it. It was described as a psychological drama with a horror element. From what I read about this film, do not watch it hoping that it will be uplifting. Has any of you seen this? What did you think of it?

5. Talk to Me

Admittedly, I watched some of this but didn’t finish the movie. It’s a little spooky, but I admit that it didn’t hold my attention. When characters in a show or movie are ridiculously stupid, I tune right out. You know how that is when you’re at home watching and think to yourself, “They are so stupid. I would have gotten my ass out of there long before that thing showed up to eat me.” As an adult person, movies focused on teen-agers who invite malevolent entities into their homes are not interesting. Way t0o predictable. But people liked it, so here it is wasting both my and your time.

6. Get Out

For me, anything by Jordan Peele is always good. This is one I haven’t watched though. From what I’ve read about this is that it’s a “blend of horror and dark comedy.” There is reportedly content that is satire about “liberal microagressions” and “systemic racism”.  I go back to my statement that anything by Jordan Peele is good. Give it a try and if you hate it, come back here and tell me why.

7. Hereditary,2018

Toni Collette is the most awe-inspiring special effect in “Hereditary.” This is a horror picture of uncommon effectiveness in terms of its ability to creep the audience out, and it’s Collette who cranks the creep meter deep into the red zone. I haven’t seen this one yet, but it certainly sounds like something that is unique in it’s genre.

8. Oculus (2018)

If that movie poster doesn’t freak you out, I don’t know what would. The movie is about a mirror that posseses people who look into it. This is particulary freaky because paranormal investigators have discovered mirrors that actually do affect those who look into them.

9. House Bound

Selected as India’s official submission to the Oscars and premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, Housebound is about a young woman is forced to return to her childhood home after being placed under house arrest, where she suspects that something evil may be lurking. Haven’t we all felt like our parents house is evil?

10. The Guest

Duh. You let strangers into your house without verifying who they are? “I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong!”  This type of premise just drives me away from a show or movie.

What are your favorite Halloween  season movies and why?

Happy Holidays and thanks for reading! ~Phil

4 Comments

Posted in Humor, movie, movie review, Movies, Scary movies

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If You Really Like Halloween…

Posted on October 5, 2024 | 9 comments

Pic from iStockPhoto.com

Halloween is coming up and some of us enjoy it more than others. If you’re one of those people, I have good news! There are several Halloween-like holidays all over the world that you can put on your calendar to celebrate the spooky stuff almost all year round.

Pic by Creator: SAEED KHAN

The Yulan Festival-China: Like most good festivals that celebrate the dead, fire has to be involved. The Yulan Festival also known as The Hungry Ghost Festival occurs on the 15th night of the 7th month, which is July. It is believed that on the day of the Yulan Festival, the gates of hell open so that ghosts can roam the Earth in search of food and entertainment.

Entertainment? What kind of entertainment do ghosts want? They watch us all the time. That’s got to be pretty funny. And the ghosts want food too? For cripes sake, I don’t want to spend my after-life trick or treating in the nearest neighborhood. I wonder if they order out for Chinese? Fortunately, in China the living perform rituals and have a feast to appease the spirits. Ok, so we’ve got July and October covered for spookiness now.

Pic from National Geographic

The Obon Festival-Japan/Brazil/California: Another celebrating the dead festival that in some places is actually multiple festivals lasting from June through August. Food, fire, costumes, music and dancing. Who knew someone else’s death could be this fun! Ok, Obon pulled in June, so now we’ve got spooky holidays/celebrations from June through November. November you say? What happens in November? Well…

Smith/Getty Images)

Dia de Muertos-Mexico and neighboring countries. Otherwise known as The Day of The Dead, this celebration occurs from Oct. 31 through the first week of November. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pay respects and remember friends and family members who have died. These celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember amusing anecdotes about the departed. It’s one of my favorites as evidenced by my sugar skull and tie in the pic below:

So we’ve now got spookiness for five months. Sadly, we do have to skip the month of December to let Hannukah and Christmas to have their time, although I do plan on looking for some spooky Christmas content for you.

Pic from Bildderfrau.De

Walpurgis Night and Beltane: They occur at the same time but in different countries. Walpurgis Nacht (Night) is a German tradition, while Beltane is Irish & Scottish. They do occur on the same dates April 30/May 1.

Walpurgis Night was started to honor Saint Walpurga who was known for battling rabies, whooping cough and witches. Rabies, whooping cough and witches? Those German med school final exams must have been super weird. The night of April 30th into May 1st is supposed to be when the witches gather and ride. Walpurgis Night is celebrated in the Netherlands, Germany, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Finland, and Estonia. In Finland, Denmark and Norway

Beltane: Source Nen.press

Beltane? Stuff like that pic above happens in drag clubs all over the states every day. You should see Key West on New Year’s Eve. To be honest, I’ve seen things online about a lot of crazy festivals in Europe, such as the Boom Festival, that I’d love to go to, but that would be a whole other blog post.

Beltane historically has been celebrated in Ireland, Scotland and The Isle of Man. Btw, here’s a shout out to that one Isle of Man Phil Factor reader. I see you showing up in my stats. Don’t be shy! Say hi in the comments.

The Celts see Beltane as the beginning of Summer and it brings back life & fertility. Bel was a Celtic god, and the name Beltane means the ‘fire of Bel’. Fire is central to the celebrations on the belief that it has protective powers. It’s believed that rituals of walking around or leaping over bonfires will bring good fortune, fertility, happiness and third degree burns.

There you go. I’ve given you spooky stuff to celebrate In April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November. That’s 8 different months to get your spooky on. If you know of any other traditions, festivals or celebrations with a spooky theme, feel free to shout out or post a link in the comments.

Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

9 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Holidays, Humor, pop culture, Uncategorized

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4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2023 | 18 comments

That picture above is from my area and I couldn’t be prouder.

Did you even know Halloween was broken? You didn’t? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

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2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home from work without having to dodge tiny superheroes and Disney already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

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4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October.

When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it.

Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Humor

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Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 15, 2023 | 4 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

This is me on my way to work two weeks from now

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share. Have a great Sunday!~Phil

4 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor, pop culture, Top Ten

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 30, 2018 | 18 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on today or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

www.wearyourbeer.com http://www.wearyourbeer.com

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Holidays

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Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Scariest TV Shows

Posted on October 23, 2018 | 23 comments

There’s nothing I enjoy more than being on the edge of my seat. I’m not talking horror or gore. I’m talking pure, can’t take your eyes off the screen, I can’t believe this is happening suspense. With the news that the early 90’s classic Twin Peaks would be returning next year with eighteen new episodes I began re-watching seasons 1 & 2 from 1990 and 1991. I also got to thinking about the best suspense TV shows I’ve watched. I’ve watched 8 of the 10 on the list and included the two others on reputation. This is a very subjective list, so if you have other suggestions I’d love to hear them.

Twilight Zone: This may be the original classic suspense show. I didn’t see it in it’s first run, but saw it later in re-runs. I fly fairly regularly for my job and I’m always tempted to yell ‘There’s a man on the wing!” If you get the reference, in the comments tell me what actor screamed it.

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The X-Files: A 90’s classic that returned to the small screen for a limited run last year. It was great in it’s time and improved as it grew in popularity. Not every episode was the perfect cocktail of suspense and disbelief, but it was often enough to make my list.

American-Gothic

American Gothic: Maybe I just like this because I have the painting on a tie. Which is more famous, the painting or the movie? Who heard of one but not the other? I didn’t see this show, but loved the title and heard others give it high praise. You win 50 points to spend in The Phil Factor gift shop if you can tell me, without looking it up, what artist did the famous painting.

LOST: Apparently I’m stuck in the 90’s. For one glorious season LOST was awesomely suspenseful and mysterious. Then the writers all seemed to lose their minds.

The Walking Dead: There’s just so many. So many zombies. Just the tiniest scratch. Any moment you could become one of them. Your group is getting picked off one by one. There could be one or one hundred around any corner. You just never know.

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American Horror Story: I haven’t watched this one. Yet. I plan to, but no one else in my family wants to see it, so I have to find some time to watch when no one is around. That’s the best time to watch scary stuff anyway, right?

In Search Of… Leonard Nimoy rest in peace.  This was a late 70’s-early 80’s show that was part documentary, part reality show where they tried to debunk paranormal phenomena. As a kid I wanted to watch but it always freaked me out.

Kingdom Hospital: Also known as Stephen King’s Kingdom Hospital. This was a one season series that was based on a Danish show.  Look it up on Netflix or Hulu. Completely creepy, suspenseful and weird. I loved it.

download-15

Stranger Things: Check this one out on Netflix. It was a new series for 2016. There’s two 8 episode seasons out already. Season 3 will be out next summer.  This show set out to capture the aura of those cool, creepy 80’s Stephen King based movies and it succeeded brilliantly.

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Twin Peaks: As I said, I recently began re-watching the original series and it stands the test of time. It’s still awesomely creepy and weird. If you were a fan of the show and want to see a funny, hour-long spoof featuring many of the actors and actresses from the original look up the show Psych on Netflix and find the Dual Spires episode in 2010/5th season of the show. After you do that, go back and watch the entire Psych series from season 1. It’s brilliantly funny with a little suspense.

So what did I miss? What would you add to the list and what would you take away? Please give opinions and suggestions. I’d love some good, new or old shows to watch. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

23 Comments

Posted in pop culture, Top Ten

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A Halloween Top Ten: Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2017 | 37 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on today or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

37 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

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TBT! 4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 27, 2016 | 7 comments
This isn't me, but I wish it was

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

What? You didn’t know Halloween was broken? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad for you. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

6e66beb661d53ea9c46a30365d397a17

2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home without having to dodge tiny Disney characters and superheroes already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

e71b61b1fbaec0d58b511b31ba01b625

4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October. When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it. Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Throwback Thursdays

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Throwback Thursday! The Top Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 20, 2016 | 7 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

funny-halloween-pictures

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on Halloween or refuse to answer your door for the kids Saturday night then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

halloween-house

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in Holidays, Humor

Tagged , , , , ,

4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2015 | 15 comments

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What? You didn’t know Halloween was broken? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad for you. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

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2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home without having to dodge tiny Disney characters and superheroes already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

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4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October. When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it. Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

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