Tag Archives: Halloween

4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2023 | 18 comments

That picture above is from my area and I couldn’t be prouder.

Did you even know Halloween was broken? You didn’t? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

6e66beb661d53ea9c46a30365d397a17

2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home from work without having to dodge tiny superheroes and Disney already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

e71b61b1fbaec0d58b511b31ba01b625

4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October.

When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it.

Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Humor

Tagged , ,

Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 15, 2023 | 4 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

This is me on my way to work two weeks from now

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share. Have a great Sunday!~Phil

4 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor, pop culture, Top Ten

Tagged , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 30, 2018 | 18 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on today or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

www.wearyourbeer.com http://www.wearyourbeer.com

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Holidays

Tagged , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Scariest TV Shows

Posted on October 23, 2018 | 23 comments

There’s nothing I enjoy more than being on the edge of my seat. I’m not talking horror or gore. I’m talking pure, can’t take your eyes off the screen, I can’t believe this is happening suspense. With the news that the early 90’s classic Twin Peaks would be returning next year with eighteen new episodes I began re-watching seasons 1 & 2 from 1990 and 1991. I also got to thinking about the best suspense TV shows I’ve watched. I’ve watched 8 of the 10 on the list and included the two others on reputation. This is a very subjective list, so if you have other suggestions I’d love to hear them.

Twilight Zone: This may be the original classic suspense show. I didn’t see it in it’s first run, but saw it later in re-runs. I fly fairly regularly for my job and I’m always tempted to yell ‘There’s a man on the wing!” If you get the reference, in the comments tell me what actor screamed it.

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The X-Files: A 90’s classic that returned to the small screen for a limited run last year. It was great in it’s time and improved as it grew in popularity. Not every episode was the perfect cocktail of suspense and disbelief, but it was often enough to make my list.

American-Gothic

American Gothic: Maybe I just like this because I have the painting on a tie. Which is more famous, the painting or the movie? Who heard of one but not the other? I didn’t see this show, but loved the title and heard others give it high praise. You win 50 points to spend in The Phil Factor gift shop if you can tell me, without looking it up, what artist did the famous painting.

LOST: Apparently I’m stuck in the 90’s. For one glorious season LOST was awesomely suspenseful and mysterious. Then the writers all seemed to lose their minds.

The Walking Dead: There’s just so many. So many zombies. Just the tiniest scratch. Any moment you could become one of them. Your group is getting picked off one by one. There could be one or one hundred around any corner. You just never know.

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American Horror Story: I haven’t watched this one. Yet. I plan to, but no one else in my family wants to see it, so I have to find some time to watch when no one is around. That’s the best time to watch scary stuff anyway, right?

In Search Of… Leonard Nimoy rest in peace.  This was a late 70’s-early 80’s show that was part documentary, part reality show where they tried to debunk paranormal phenomena. As a kid I wanted to watch but it always freaked me out.

Kingdom Hospital: Also known as Stephen King’s Kingdom Hospital. This was a one season series that was based on a Danish show.  Look it up on Netflix or Hulu. Completely creepy, suspenseful and weird. I loved it.

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Stranger Things: Check this one out on Netflix. It was a new series for 2016. There’s two 8 episode seasons out already. Season 3 will be out next summer.  This show set out to capture the aura of those cool, creepy 80’s Stephen King based movies and it succeeded brilliantly.

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Twin Peaks: As I said, I recently began re-watching the original series and it stands the test of time. It’s still awesomely creepy and weird. If you were a fan of the show and want to see a funny, hour-long spoof featuring many of the actors and actresses from the original look up the show Psych on Netflix and find the Dual Spires episode in 2010/5th season of the show. After you do that, go back and watch the entire Psych series from season 1. It’s brilliantly funny with a little suspense.

So what did I miss? What would you add to the list and what would you take away? Please give opinions and suggestions. I’d love some good, new or old shows to watch. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

23 Comments

Posted in pop culture, Top Ten

Tagged , , ,

A Halloween Top Ten: Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2017 | 37 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on today or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

37 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

Tagged , , , ,

TBT! 4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 27, 2016 | 7 comments
This isn't me, but I wish it was

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

What? You didn’t know Halloween was broken? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad for you. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

6e66beb661d53ea9c46a30365d397a17

2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home without having to dodge tiny Disney characters and superheroes already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

e71b61b1fbaec0d58b511b31ba01b625

4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October. When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it. Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Throwback Thursdays

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Throwback Thursday! The Top Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 20, 2016 | 7 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

funny-halloween-pictures

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on Halloween or refuse to answer your door for the kids Saturday night then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

halloween-house

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in Holidays, Humor

Tagged , , , , ,

4 Ways To Fix Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2015 | 15 comments

pumpkin-costume-Halloween-Costume-meme-lol-funny-pictures

What? You didn’t know Halloween was broken? Then I feel sad for you. Oh so sad for you. You’re like a house cat that doesn’t dream of running free outside to chase the squirrels.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to fix Halloween. Here’s how:

1. The Return of Trick or Treating: Back in the 70’s and 80’s a bunch of psychopaths ruined Halloween for kids by putting razor blades and poison in candy. Now kids are stuck with “neighborhood parties” and trick or treating at the shopping mall. Special Halloween candy will now come in individual foil packets that can’t be opened and resealed and will only be sold on the day before and day of Halloween.

6e66beb661d53ea9c46a30365d397a17

2. Adult Trick or Treating?: Kids will be allowed to trick or treat until 8:30 pm. Then from 9:00-whenever, adults get to trick or treat. Adults will go trick or treating in their neighborhoods too, but for drinks and appetizers. If you can’t have fun dressing up as an adult then just click out of this page and don’t come back.

3. Trick or Treating Hours: Hey parents of toddlers! Stop taking your kids trick or treating at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sheesh! Let me get home without having to dodge tiny Disney characters and superheroes already in my driveway. Maybe I’d like time to have dinner, get into costume, and fire up the spooky music and lights at my house. No trick or treating until 6:00 pm.

e71b61b1fbaec0d58b511b31ba01b625

4. A New Date for Halloween: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that Halloween will always occur on the first Friday of October. When you live kind of North it can get pretty chilly at the end of October and nothing ruins a good Halloween costume like having to put a coat on over or under it. Also, Halloween will stay on a Friday. That way everyone can wear costumes to work that day and people can have a nice party that night without having to get up early the next morning. Halloween on a Tuesday sucks.

When I was a kid Halloween was the best holiday, but now it’s a watered down p.c. version of what it was and it’s lost most of it’s fun. If you want to support my ideas and my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, feel free to hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a very Happy Halloween! ~Phil

15 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor

Tagged , ,

Wordless Wednesday? Nope! It’s Halloween Week!

Posted on October 28, 2015 | 11 comments

The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie

Since we all will eventually be zombies I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact there are quite a few perks to being undead.

10. Zombies never pay insurance premiums: No health, no dental, no auto or home. Who isn’t frustrated by all the money you spend on insurance that you never get back? Zombies, that’s who!

9. Cardio! With all that constant, aimless wandering around zombies are in great shape.

8. Your wardrobe never goes out of style! Just wear the same outfit forever, kind of like our parents.

7. No tan lines! That’s hot, right?

6. Dating is easy: Zombie chicks don’t care if you have six pack abs. In fact, they don’t care if you have abs at all!

5. Zombies don’t worry about pageviews: I’ve never once seen a zombie blogger check his phone 10x during the day to see how many people read his blog. Zombies don’t give a crap if you read their blog. They’re cool like that.

4. When You’re Dead, Weight Loss is Easy! Got a few extra pounds? Just offer it to your friend as an appetizer. How many points is an arm worth Weight Watchers?

3. All the unprotected sex you want! Do I need to elaborate on this one?

2. No technology worries: Zombies never worry about a wi-fi signal or their phone battery.

Picture credit: www.weheartit.com

Picture credit: http://www.weheartit.com

1. The night life is phenomenal! Every night, all night raves. And now that Michael Jackson is dead he can dance with the zombies forever! What? Too soon?

Feel free to share by the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great Wednesday everyone!  ~Phil

11 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten, zombies

Tagged , , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 27, 2015 | 23 comments

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work on Friday or refuse to answer your door for the kids Saturday night then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

23 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

Tagged , ,