The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie
Since we all will eventually be zombies I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact there are quite a few perks to being undead.
10. Zombies never pay insurance premiums: No health, no dental, no auto or home. Who isn’t frustrated by all the money you spend on insurance that you never get back? Zombies, that’s who!
9. Cardio! With all that constant, aimless wandering around zombies are in great shape.
8. Your wardrobe never goes out of style! Just wear the same outfit forever, kind of like our parents.
7. No tan lines! That’s hot, right?
6. Dating is easy: Zombie chicks don’t care if you have six pack abs. In fact, they don’t care if you have abs at all!
5. Zombies don’t worry about pageviews: I’ve never once seen a zombie blogger check his phone 10x during the day to see how many people read his blog. Zombies don’t give a crap if you read their blog. They’re cool like that.
4. When You’re Dead, Weight Loss is Easy! Got a few extra pounds? Just offer it to your friend as an appetizer. How many points is an arm worth Weight Watchers?
3. All the unprotected sex you want! Do I need to elaborate on this one?
2. No technology worries: Zombies never worry about a wi-fi signal or their phone battery.
1. The night life is phenomenal! Every night, all night raves. And now that Michael Jackson is dead he can dance with the zombies forever! What? Too soon?
Feel free to share by the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great Wednesday everyone! ~Phil