Category Archives: zombies

19 Gates of Hell: A Book Review

If you enjoy Halloween and a good horror story, then this is the book for you. 19 Gates of Hell is a new anthology of, you guessed it, nineteen stories of horror. Each story is by a different author and each is a gripping, blood curdling tale of horror in the vein of some of the great classic horror writers like Poe and Lovecraft.

Marie Lanza

I was gifted a copy of this book by friend of The Phil Factor, radio personality, author and Queen of Zombies, Marie Lanza who is the only other person to have written a Top Ten list for The Phil Factor. Check out Marie’s website for more info on all of her books. For 19 Gates, Marie contributed the story Facing Death, which is, in my opinion, the cream of the crop.

Other world famous authors in this anthology include: R.L. Burwick Rich Restucci Sean DevilleJames Watts Frank Martin Alberto Pupo Jacob Floyd Byron Craft, and Titan Frey  

If you love horror, you can’t beat this anthology. Pick it up from Amazon  as an e-book or paperback and find your new favorite author.

Have a great Halloween! ~Phil

A New Zombie Story From Marie Lanza!

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What? A zombie book on your blog on New Years Eve? Shouldn’t you be cracking jokes about the New Year or something? First of all, I love it when you talk to yourself about me, and second, of course there’s a zombie book on my blog if it’s written by Marie Lanza!

Some of you may remember my awesome interview with Marie in January 2014 and others will also remember her hilarious Top Ten list for #ThePhilFactor, The Top Ten Things YOU Need to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse. I’m not one to forget a friend of The Phil Factor who twice took some of her own time for me.

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Just two days ago Marie released book 5, Rising, of her short story e-series The Colony. To be fair, I haven’t read everything Marie has written, but I’ve read two of her books and thoroughly enjoyed them. If you’re a fan of the AMC’s The Walking Dead you’ll love Marie’s books. Here’s her Amazon page so you can see everything she’s written and follow the story line in order. Maybe order a couple to read on your Kindle while you wait for midnight tonight… What better way to ring in the New Year than thinking about desperately fighting for our lives?

Have a great New Years! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday? Nope! It’s Halloween Week!

The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie

Since we all will eventually be zombies I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact there are quite a few perks to being undead.

10. Zombies never pay insurance premiums: No health, no dental, no auto or home. Who isn’t frustrated by all the money you spend on insurance that you never get back? Zombies, that’s who!

9. Cardio! With all that constant, aimless wandering around zombies are in great shape.

8. Your wardrobe never goes out of style! Just wear the same outfit forever, kind of like our parents.

7. No tan lines! That’s hot, right?

6. Dating is easy: Zombie chicks don’t care if you have six pack abs. In fact, they don’t care if you have abs at all!

5. Zombies don’t worry about pageviews: I’ve never once seen a zombie blogger check his phone 10x during the day to see how many people read his blog. Zombies don’t give a crap if you read their blog. They’re cool like that.

4. When You’re Dead, Weight Loss is Easy! Got a few extra pounds? Just offer it to your friend as an appetizer. How many points is an arm worth Weight Watchers?

3. All the unprotected sex you want! Do I need to elaborate on this one?

2. No technology worries: Zombies never worry about a wi-fi signal or their phone battery.

Picture credit: www.weheartit.com

Picture credit: http://www.weheartit.com

1. The night life is phenomenal! Every night, all night raves. And now that Michael Jackson is dead he can dance with the zombies forever! What? Too soon?

Feel free to share by the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great Wednesday everyone!  ~Phil

TBT: Zombies Are Here? Never Fear!

I wrote this a year ago when I had half as many readers. If you didn’t read it before, read it now. It’s really funny.

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(05/17/2014) CNN reported this week that the United States government has developed a “zombie preparedness plan”. It includes getting them all signed up for Obamacare by the end of the month. (I should probably just quit now. I’m pretty sure that’s going to be the best joke in this whole thing.)

CNN revealed that the government plan, titled CONPLAN 8888, was developed as a training tool and is not intended to be a serious attempt to plan for a world wide zombie invasion.  Well why the hell not? If our government, which is paid by our taxes, is going to develop a zombie preparedness plan I want a real plan, not an elaborate joke. You can’t tell me that if a presidential candidate said he was going to have a a plan in place to defend us from a zombie apocalypse, we wouldn’t elect him or her in a landslide. Heck, if a zombie ran for president we’d elect him. We elected George Bush didn’t we? Both of them.

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Here is an actual segment from the document: “This plan’s offensive branch (within Annex C) and Annex S (STO) details the neutralization (to render ineffective) of Zombie capabilities by denial, deception disruption, degradation, or destruction.”  First of all, someone in the government obviously is a big fan of alliteration or is a writer from Sesame Street.  “Today’s episode of The Walking Dead is sponsored by the letter D.”

Denial? Really? That’s part of the plan? When confronted by a Zombie how does that play out? “You can’t bite me!” Zombie shakes his head yes. “No you can’t.” Zombie shuffles away.  How about deception? How do you deceive a Zombie? “Hey, umm, you guys, OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!” Zombies turn heads and cornered human runs away to safety.  Degradation? We’re going to degrade the Zombies? I’m pretty sure they already feel badly about being dead. Is attacking their self-esteem really going to be effective?  “You may be about to bite me, but you’re ugly and you smell bad!” Zombie then shuffles away and cries silently in the bathroom. It’s like the plan was written by twelve year olds.

Picture credit: www.weheartit.com

Picture credit: http://www.weheartit.com

The plan is very thorough in that it does take into consideration several different kinds of Zombies that might occur such as: Pathogenic Zombies, Radiation Zombies, Evil Magic Zombies, (which sounds like a great name for a band), Space Zombies, which the document says are likely only to be a threat to “SATCOM services like DirectTV.” If Zombies take out my TV I am really going to be pissed. So pissed that I might even  degrade them. There are also definitions for Weaponized Zombies, Symbiant Induced Zombies, Vegetarian Zombies and Chicken Zombies. The only thing I would worry about is Chicken McNugget Zombies. Would they be better with sweet & sour sauce or barbecue?  Actually, zombie chickens are a real thing. Read this from Fox News in Dec. 2006.

As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor and want to promote Zombie preparedness please share this like a Pathogenic Zombie virus by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

picture credit: http://www.dumpaday.com and joyreactor.com

Throwback Thursdays! Zombie Love Boat

This post is a year old and it’s already an all time classic. People love zombies and this post has gotten views from all over the web and all over the world since I first posted it last February.

Love Boat

I knew this picture combined with the title would lure you children of the 80’s here. Apparently your memories of the kitschy Saturday night show featuring B-list celebs hooking up was popular enough that millions of people now support the growing cruise industry by taking cruises themselves, possibly hoping to hook up with a B-lister and go to the Lido deck for some shuffleboard, if you know what I mean.

It’s going to happen though. You and I both know it. This is not going to end well, and it could be the downfall of all of humanity. Everyone boards a cruise ship with a smile on their face, but a day may come when that gangplank hits the pier and the smiling faces that boarded will have been chewed off. That’s right. I’m standing at home plate, bat in hand, pointing to the bleachers and calling my apocalyptic shot. Here it is: One day the zombie apocalypse that will destroy mankind will start on a cruise ship.

What? But why Phil? Why would you malign the wonderful cruise industry with such a dire prediction? I appreciate you having the guts to ask yourself these tough questions and for including my name when you do. Let’s hope I can answer them before it’s too late, before a zombie eats those very same guts right out of your abdomen.

Here’s how it’s going to happen and here’s how you can protect yourself. There are two ways that the zombie virus could get on board the ship. A passenger will board the cruise with the virus already in them. Once on board the floating enclosed petri dish that is a cruise ship, the virus will spread either through direct contact with patient zero or because our patient zero sneezed on the ever present all-you-can-eat buffet. We’ve seen viruses spread like wildfire this way already with two outbreaks on cruise ships being reported this week.

The other way the zombie out break could start is by  “mutant zombie bees.” As was reported this week, the zombie virus is spreading among the insect population and it’s only a matter of time before a cruise ship pulls into port at some exotic location and a passenger on an outing is stung by a mutant zombie bee and then returns to the ship, sneezes on the salad bar and two days later that ship drifts into port full of the living dead enjoying a buffet of other passengers. What if it’s a Disney Cruise? Imagine your child’s horror at seeing Ariel becoming a new kind of seafood buffet for the walking dead. (Yeah, I did a Google search for “most popular Disney Princess. Somewhere the guys at the NSA are laughing and adding that to my file right now.)

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See? Captain Stubing doesn’t seem so charming as a zombie does he? Remember I said I’d tell you how to protect yourself from a cruise induced zombie apocalypse? Here’s the secret: Don’t go on a cruise! Remember the phrase “floating petri dish” that I used earlier? If cruise ship doctors are anything like Dr. Adam Bricker, do you want your life in his hands? He could sweet talk the ladies but he wasn’t much of a doctor. Most problems on The Love Boat were solved by a rum drink and a good chat with Issac.

Isaac-Washington

Ok, I admit, I’m starting to ramble. I’ll wrap up with two last things that I found while doing my research for this. When I thought of this blog post I also considered writing a humorous short story called Zombie Cruise Ship that I would publish for Kindle for 99 cents. Guess what? It’s already been thought of is being made into a movie.

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I also discovered a band called Zombie Loveboat. Here they are:

As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor and want to prevent your loved ones from being eaten by zombies on a cruise please share by hitting the Facebook and Twitter share buttons below. I’m hoping that enough will share this that it spreads across the interwebs like the zombie virus, so that we can save lives of course. Have a great weekend. ~Phil

Picture credit: ivilliage.com.au and schleppynabuccos.blogspot.com

The Top Ten Things YOU Need to Survive The Zombie Apocalypse by author Marie Lanza

This weeks Top Ten list is a first for The Phil Factor. I’m thrilled to have a Top Ten list by indie zombie author Marie Lanza. Some of you will remember Marie from her hilarious interview here back in January. Since January Marie has released her first full length novel, Fractured: Outbreak Zom 813 and The Colony: Isolation which is the second installment in her Colony e-book series.

Marie Lanza

Marie Lanza

Last time Marie appeared here on The Phil Factor we had a fun interview, but this time Marie was kind enough to agree to participate in my Top Ten Tuesday with a list of the Top Ten Things YOU Need to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse.  Here it is:

1. Weapons – Guns, Bullets, Knives, Swords, Machete, Shovel – It all works. Guns will always draw attention, so if you can, using your other weapons is best. Plus, it will help conserve bullets. Avoid non-lethal deterrents; pepper spray or stun guns, you’ll only hurt yourself and possibly more flavorful for the zombies!

2. Running Shoes – As much walking and running as you’ll be doing, a good pair of shoes is essential. With everything you’ll be dealing with, who wants to suffer from blisters?  Those high-heeled shoes you’ve been dying to wear… ‘nuff said. Unless they’re spiked heels… put those in your weapons pile.

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 3. Bite proof clothing/protective gear – Leather, arm & leg guards. This will help when you’re fighting in close contact with the infected. Fashionable and practical.
 4. Physical Fitness – In both The Colony e-series and my novel Fractured, my characters are strong physically. During the apocalypse, you’ll get winded from the day to day running. Zombies don’t get winded.  Idea for my new workout video: 20 minute workouts for the Zombie apocalypse.
 5. Technology – GPS system, Two-way Radios. In my novel Fractured these were essential for communication for Harmony and Dan to keep in touch with their families. Don’t forget batteries!
 6. Food – MREs, canned food. This stuff will last forever.  Leave the farm fresh salmon behind!
 7. Water – Water bottles, Canteens, Camelbak, Water Purification equipment. You may be able to get away with no food, but no one can survive without water. Water bottles are key. If water sources are potentially contaminated, you don’t want to question whether or not you’re drinking to your own death. Boil anything going into the canteens, camelbaks and even the water you’re filtering through water purification equipment. But the questions remains… does even boiling it kill the virus?
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 8. Lighting – Flashlights, Flares, Candles, Glow Sticks and of course, lighters and matches. In a pinch a mag-light or a flare can make a good weapon!
 9. Storage – Backpack, tactical belt or vest, easy to handle and easy to run with. Don’t make the mistake of duffle bags, over the shoulder or anything that’s not easily carried while you’re running. These items could also get caught on something easier than a backpack, tactical belt or vest. Leave the roller bags at home.
 10. Misc Tools – Swiss Army knife, can opener, duct tape, scissors, batteries and solar chargers.  Look for ‘101 uses for duct tape in a Zombie filled Wasteland’ at a bookstore near you!
Wow! It doesn’t get much better than that. Zombie survival advice from one of the world’s foremost experts! I have to say, I read Marie’s novel Fractured: Outbreak ZOM 813 and I was not disappointed. I’m a Stephen King fan and I loved Marie’s novel. If you want to know what it would be like to survive day to day after a zombie apocalypse this is the book for you. In addition to enjoying Marie’s fantastic novels you can also find her on her radio show The Dirt which you can find on iHeart Radio and TradioV. By all means make sure you also follow Marie on Facebook and Twitter. Like I said though, if you like a good, no, great zombie survival story check out all Marie’s books on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback versions.
As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor and want to help your friends survive the zombie apocalypse please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below.

Could Healthy, Organic Foods Be Killing You? Probably.

The answer is of course! If you hit anyone hard enough with a cantaloupe it would probably kill them. The question is are health foods killing you slowly and insidiously the way health food advocates claim that all those so called “unhealthy” foods are?

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See that picture? Notice the smiling cartoon children? Of course they’re cartoon children! You can’t get real children to smile about squash for breakfast! I’m calling Child Protective Services on anyone who buys this for their kids.

A clinical study that I would do if I had the time would show that healthy, organic foods are killing us little by little, emotionally and maybe physically. In an article I found online anthropologist Rachel Caspari said that by examining Neanderthal dental records, her team established that 130,000 years ago, ‘no-one survived past 30’. At least I think that’s what she was saying. I didn’t want to read further in case she presented some alleged facts that wouldn’t support my point.

And what is my point? My point is that 130,000 years ago nobody was frying stuff, nobody was adding antibiotics to anything and nobody was giving cows steroids, and guess what? They didn’t live past 30. So back when all we ate was organic foods nobody lived very long. Then when we started adding additives, preservatives and trans fats around 1900 or so the average human lifespan in many developed countries has extended to 80 or better.

See that picture? “Chickenless” nuggets? Just knowing they exist made my soul die a little bit. Take a moment to imagine a life where you wake up, grab a cup of Fair Trade, Organically Grown Coffee, pour yourself a bowl of Banana Squash Squares for breakfast and then, after a long, hard day of work, you come home to a dinner of “Chickenless” nuggets made from textured wheat protein. Maybe later with a glass of wine you’ll munch on some flax seeds. Did any of you feel happy when you imagined that scenario? No! Of course not. Health food is bad for your soul. Now picture swinging by Starbucks in the morning to grab a brownie and a tall Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino.Then for lunch you grab a juicy burger and fries. When you return home maybe you eat a little healthy by having some nice salmon, but when you settle down later you top the day off with a couple chocolate chip cookies. How did you feel when you thought about that day? Much better right? So called “bad” food is good for your soul.

Also, if nuggets were to forever be chicken-less, would the chicken population explode and civilized areas would be overrun by chickens running around without having their heads cut off? That’s the apocalypse scenario I’m worried about. Zombie chickens!

Picture credit: play.google.com

Picture credit: play.google.com

So, in summary, if you eat too much “healthy” food you won’t live as long or feel as happy, and you would cause us to be overrun by chickens. Is that what you want?

So what are your favorite indulgent foods that make you feel better at the end of a rough day? What are the worst healthy foods you’ve ever seen or eaten? As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil