Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Kind Of True Facts About Norway

Hei mine norske venner! My blog views by country typically go United States, European Union, England, Canada and then a handful from a random assortment of other countries. About 6-8 months ago Norway joined the list right behind Canada every month with 6-10 views and now it’s up to 6-10 views a day.  I’ve never written about Norway or any celebrities from Norway, so I was intrigued. In an effort to try to provoke a reaction or declaration of war from Norway I came up with this list of kind of true facts about the tiny island nation of Norway.

10. Everyone from Norway looks like the picture above: Yes, I did a little research and it seems that Norwegians are overly fond of plaid. And jumping.

9. Norway Hates Walmart: Norway as a country is not in trillions of dollars  of debt like the United States. Norway in fact has a s–tload of money and a few years ago it stopped investing in Walmart because Norway as a country thinks Walmart is a humongous jerk.

8. Norwegian Babies Get Too Much Parenting: In Norway fathers have 14 weeks of mandatory paternity leave when their child is born. In fact, Norwegians only reproduce just to get the time off from work.

7. There’s a town in Norway called Hell: I’m pretty sure it freezes over all the time. What do they say in place of that “Hell freezes over” joke?

6. There Are No Famous Norwegians: I looked up “famous Norwegians.” On the first list I found, three of the top 12 were two “YouTube stars”, one didn’t even have a picture, and a 15 year old blogger who has only been blogging since 2013. Amateur. I considered contacting her for an interview as a representative of Norway, but she writes her blog entirely in Norwegian! How is that going to help anyone? I tried to contact Norway’s most popular comedian, Espen Eckbo, but he’s either dead or can’t read my e-mails written in English.


5. Norwegians have funny names like Espen for example. I don’t know why they don’t name their kids something normal and cool like Pilot Inspektor or Fifi Trixibelle, or maybe North West.

4. In 2008 Norway knighted a penguin: Hey, if Donald Trump has a shot at being President, why can’t a penguin be a knight. It sounds like the conclusion to a Disney movie doesn’t it?

3. Norwegians are trying to fool everyone: Voss “artesian” bottled water is just tap water from Iveland, Norway.


2. Lutefisk is an aphrodisiac: The fish, native to Nordic waters, is believed to enhance the sex drive of both men and women. Unfortunately lutefisk has a disgusting gelatinous texture so no one eats it. If all the Norwegians ate lutefisk and reproduced correspondingly there would be enough Norwegians to take over every country in the world.

1. According to scientists the zombie apocalypse “most likely” to begin in Norway: Due to the constant permafrost, bodies buried in Norway don’t decompose, meaning that with the right conditions and after a good Spring thaw they’re ready to get up and go.

If anyone from Norway is reading this, say so in the comments and leave your email and I’ll interview you. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share it with your favorite Norwegian by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

25 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Kind Of True Facts About Norway

  1. Happy Tuesday Phil! Looking forward to the thousands of Norwegians who will no doubt drop you a line – if only to tell you they aren’t an island. Don’t go upsetting them, they have lots of oil and gas so when the middle east finally implodes we are gonna need ’em!

  2. Haha! Interesting facts, Phil. Are you telling me the only famous thing/person/animal to come from Norway is a knighted penguin?! 🐧 Hell really has frozen over!

  3. Snazzy outfits though! I like those! 👍

  4. Little known other fact about Norway, The Mister spent more than a month Lathario-ing his way through, with plenty of beer and whale steaks along the way 😉

  5. Interesting facts Phil. I didn’t know half of this. Aha, used to be a bit famous back in the day. Esben Eckbo is currently in hospital after having boken his back in an accedent, so that might be the reason why there has been no answer. Maybe head of NATO, Jens Stoltenberg will answer your questions.

  6. There’s not much else to do or say
    Let’s start a rock band in Norway!

  7. Uf da! You forgot to mention the Nordic tradition of melting in a sauna and then going out and rolling in the snow. And then drinking Akvavit to dull the pain of things falling off.

  8. As a practicing toungeologist I think there are some things that can be done to help that tongue.

  9. Pingback: An Interview With An Actual Norwegian! | The Phil Factor

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