Kanye Worst…Human Being Ever?

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove doubt” ~attributed to either Abraham Lincoln or Mark Twain.

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Just like Kanye Worst, I break the rules. In this case I broke my own rules against torturing people with GIFs, but Kanye is so horrible that I had to do something equally horrible. If any human has ever embodied the Abe Lincoln/Mark Twain quote better than Kanye Worst, I have no idea who it is, although Donald Trump is gaining fast.

Apparently last week was Kanye Worst Week and nobody told me. I don’t think anyone told Kanye either, he just forced himself upon the public consciousness whether we wanted it or not. We didn’t.

Let’s review the last week in the life of Kanye Worst”

Feb. 10: At an album release party/fashion show in NYC he announced that he’s creating a video game about his late mother “traveling through the gates of heaven.” If Kanye Worst makes a video game it should be called Call of Doody.

Feb. 11: He rented out Madison Square Garden and stocked it with 700 models to promote his clothing line and release his new album at the same time. A line from one of his songs says, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / I made that bitch famous.” I assume he’s talking about Taylor Swift, with whom he has an ongoing public feud, and not me. I hope.

Feb.13: Kanye Worst was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, of whom he once said in a song in 2010, “Fuck SNL and the whole cast / tell ‘em Yeezy said they can kiss my whole ass.” At least it rhymed.

Feb. 13: Tweeted that he’s $53 million in debt. 

Feb. 14: Used Twitter to ask Facebook owner Mark Zuckerberg to invest a billion dollars in him. Hey Kanye, maybe next time you want money from Facebook you should try sending a Facebook message.

Feb. 14: At the Grammy Awards, where Taylor Swift won one and Kanye Worst did not, again, Taylor Swift took a shot at Kanye by saying, “there are going to be people along the way who are going to try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame,”

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Ok, I’m only four days into the last week of Kanye Worst’s life and I’m tired of him already. You’re getting the gist though, right? He’s been a busy asshat. But at least he’s consistent. Here’s some more of his “hijinks”

2004: Stormed out of the American Music Awards after another artist won the Best New Artist award.

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2005: During a live televised fundraising concert for Hurricane Katrina, Kanye Worst took the stage with comedian/actor Mike Myers and went completely off script on a one minute rant about the media’s portrayal of African-American survivors of the tragedy and concluded by saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”

2006: At the MTV Europe Music Awards he crashed the stage and launched into a profanity laced rant after someone else won the Best Hip Hop Artist Award.

2009: Interrupted Taylor Swift on stage who was accepting her MTV Music Award for best video to rant that Beyonce’ deserved the award.

2013: Named his daughter North West.

Seriously, who has a problem with Taylor Swift? That’s like hating Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. I so wish I had the time and patience to take a picture of Dorothy and the Wicked Witch of the West and photoshop Taylor and Kaye’s heads into it. Picture that and laugh to yourself.

You’ve got to give the man credit for consistency though. He’s dedicated. That’s over a decade of being a public nutjob. I can’t really say that he’s the worst human being ever because there’s still Bill Cosby and serial killers, but Kanye is definitely climbing that list. I believe that he has earned the name Kanye Worst. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, Kanye will probably storm the stage and protest, but after that I will officially change his name on all legal documents to Kanye Worst, and I will decree that in the dictionary next to the word asshat there will be a picture of him.

Ironically, Kanye Worst himself would probably be proud of a rant like this. Kanye, if you’ve got a problem with me feel free to tweet me. Maybe I’ll give you that billion. Have a great Saturday everybody! ~Phil

38 responses to “Kanye Worst…Human Being Ever?

  1. And then he released a new album only available through his website or streaming Tidal app. Tidal download sales soared in advance so he pulled it from Tidal and only allowed on his website. The album was pirated over 500,000 times and he wants to sue a torrent search engine now … lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Brilliant! The guy has the worst messiah complex ever *shakes head in disbelief*

    Like

  3. He sounds absolutely vile!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kanye is beyond annoying. This post was pretty funny-especially ‘call of doody’ and ‘public nutjob.’ Yeah, you named and shamed him alright. I hope he sees this blog post. He probably reads everything about himself. But who even knows if the guy can read? Sheesh.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I enjoyed when he said that about George Bush. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. I also enjoy The Gold Digger Song. I stopped enjoying Kanye the more he Kanye’d.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well there Phil I have to say
    I really do hate that Kanye
    But on Ms. Swift I have to differ
    I like to call her Taydolf Swiftler.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Where else but America can an ignorant ass continue to be a burr under everyone’s saddle.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I, as a general policy, typically refuse to click on any link having to do with a Kardashian or their ilk, but, in your case, it was worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. And then there’s his wife and her infamous tweets.
    On makeup: “I hate it when women wear the wrong foundation colour. It might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their makeup too light.”
    On ignorance: “It annoys me whenever someone says, ‘What do you actually do?’ All I think is, ‘How are you so ignorant that you don’t know?’ I mean, what an uneducated question.”
    On terms of endearment: “I’m honoured that Kanye calls me his ‘Perfect Bitch.’ I love it. I know he doesn’t mean it in a negative way when he says that word.”

    Come on!!!
    Don’t even get me started on Miley Virus!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I want to hug you! Finally, someone who despises Kanye as much as me! I rate him lower than something I’d scrape off the bottom of my shoe! Great post, high five!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ok, a few things. One, it’s really easy to have a problem with Taylor Swift. Mainly because..my daughter is eleven and forces me to listen to her crappy pop music. Two, I somehow knew Kanye was actually talking about you in that song! Three, I LOVE the look on Mike Myer’s face in that picture.

    Funny stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I f’ing hate him!
    Team Taylor all the way! (Am loving the likening to Dorothy.. Classic!)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The February 11th entry made me laugh. Spot on, however, in this entire post.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Have you ever wondered why we get so obsessed over these things? It’s like a huge adrenaline rush reading about it hahaha. I’ve been wondering recently why i feel such connection for them and I decided to write about it hahaha https://nextdoorhuman.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 1 person

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