Keep in mind that this is only speculative and that I have no plans to punch anyone, nor do I advocate face punching of any kind by anyone else. That being said, if there were no real harm to others and no repercussions to me, these are 10 celebrities whom I believe deserve a strong punch to the forehead.
10. Kanye West: I figured I had to include him or he’d take offense and storm my blog demanding to be the first one punched. He would also take exception to being listed only 10th on this list.
9. Princess Kate: Listen, Little Miss Perfect, you were nobody before Prince Horse Teeth married you and now you think you’re the worlds biggest trendsetter. Get down off your high horse. You’ll never be Queen. He’s going to follow his Dad’s lead and ditch you for his own Camilla.
8. Kim Kardashian: Just because you can pose nude doesn’t mean that you should pose nude. Holy crap. Pretty soon people will be so used to seeing her nude that she could go to a shopping mall completely buck ass nekkid and everyone will ignore her. Ho hum. Also, I ranked her ahead of Kanye just to piss him off.
7. Yo! Yo! Honey Singh: Yes, he’s an Indian rapper.
But he deserves a punch in the face partly because of his name and partly because he uses way too much autotune. If Singh can’t sing, then he ain’t a thing.
6. All American voters: Look, I’m a registered independent. I didn’t vote in any of the primaries. All of you who did and who voted for either Hillary or Trump deserve a big punch in the forehead. You’ve left our nation with the choice of the two worst presidential candidates in history.
5. Tom Brady: The quarterback for the New England Patriots. He and his coach have been caught cheating on multiple occasions and he still acts all holier than thou. I’ve seen him pretty up close at games and he spends half his time screaming at teammates who aren’t as perfect as him. I don’t wish a punch in the forehead on him. I wish him a torn rotator cuff.
4. Bethenny Frankel: Listen, I have no idea why she created a vodka, wrote four self-help books and has been in every American reality show ever, but if given the choice of chewing broken glass or being trapped in an elevator with her, you know I’d take the broken glass every time.
3. Jaden Smith: His dad Will Smith can do no wrong, except for opting out of the new Independence Day movie, but 17 year old Jaden is just a moron. He’s compared himself to Galileo, said it’s an honor that people think he’s crazy, and that he and his 14 year old sister, Willow, are “scientists” that will disappear from the public eye in 10 years except to “pop up” to do humanitarian stuff. I wasn’t the son of a famous actor when I was 17, but I know I never said anything that stupid. Jaden, how about if you just shut up for the next ten years?
2. Fan Bingbing: Are you a Chinese actress or a Pokemon character? With your name, who knows? Your show is no Game of Thrones and your name is allegedly Fan Bingbing. Please.
1. Mark Zuckerberg: Good for you. You’re a 30 year old billionaire, you have a wife, a new baby and you want to save the world. You know what? That’s fine…if you don’t feel the need to tell everyone about it. Holy crap you’re insecure! Just do good stuff and shut the hell up! Bill Gates and his wife do way more good stuff than you and we never hear about it.
That’s my list. Yes, I did go a little international to reach a wider audience, but The Phil Factor knows no borders! So who would be on your list of celebrities that deserve a punch in the forehead? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil