Those of us that write blogs know the horror. The horror of the crazy, bizarre search terms that someone types into Google that brings them to our blogs. Fortunately it’s only our blogs that they come to because I wouldn’t want them coming to my house. Here are the ten funniest, or ten weirdest search terms that brought people to #ThePhilFactor over the last three months:
10. Real sexting conversations to read in Hindi: First, Hindi is a language, not a religion, and it is spoken by the majority of people from India and other countries in that neck of the woods. Why my blog? Because of this post from two years ago. I get at least 75 views a day related to that phrase. Also, if you came here because you’re a horny Hindi looking for dating help, read this
9. Michael Phelps day job: Yes, the former Olympic swimmer is now a contributor at The Phil Factor.
8. Worst candy ever made: I’m thankful the search wasn’t “worst eye candy ever.” My ego remains intact, for now.
7. Horniestintheland.com: What can I say? My reputation precedes me. At least once every quarter someone gets to my site with this search term.
6. the rock Dwayne Johnson depeche mode: What? Yes, the word is out that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has joined the iconic 80’s/90’s goth band Depeche Mode. I’ll soon be interviewing him here. Man, that guy will do anything for a buck!
5. What brought people to Greenland? I have no idea! A better question is what brought this searcher to my blog with that question? Not to brag or anything , but The Phil Factor is the most popular blog in Greenland.
4. A safe word and a rib eye: The only time people use a “safe word” is during S&M sex, so why wouldn’t they come to The Phil Factor for safe word ideas? If any of you out there use safe words, I would be so proud if at least once you used “The Phil Factor” as your safe word. Apparently, after S&M sex people like to enjoy a good rib eye steak. That’s the odd part, because a good steak sounds like foreplay to me.
3. Join us cult: I’ve got a good following, but I wasn’t aware I had reached cult status. I’ll take it though. Cult leaders are always charismatic, right? I think I’ll call my followers the Philistines! Maybe me and the Philistines can live in the Philippines! Are you a Philistine?
2. lost soles helen, ga: I know what this means, but I doubt you do. When I was publishing my book The Sneaker Tree, I posted a series of articles about those mysterious trees you find all over the world that are filled with shoes. In Helen, Georgia, USA, there’s a tree next to a river called the Lost Soles Tree. When people are riding inflatable tubes down the river they often lose shoes. All the found shoes are put on the tree.
1. lichtenstein public nudity: Another niche country where The Phil Factor is hugely popular. As for the nudity, well who wouldn’t want to see all those attractive Lichtensteiners nude? That is one good looking country! I also discovered that if you search “Lichtenstein public nudity” the second thing that comes up on Google is this previous post of mine.
For all you weirdos out there, we know what you’re searching for and we just might publish it on our blogs, which will of course cause more searches leading more weirdos like you to our blogs, and that’s just fine with us because we love to see the number of views. Have a great weekend! ~Phil