Tag Archives: search terms funny

Is This A Trumped Up List of Search Terms?

Our current President might say this list is “Fake news. Sad!” but I would testify to a Senate Intelligence Committee that it’s all the truth. This is my quarterly reminder that whatever you put into a Google search, someone somewhere is going to read it. Quite possibly the Russians, but I swear that I took precautions to ensure that the Russians couldn’t interfere with this list.

10. Worst Tattoos: I don’t think my tattoos are that bad. What? You want to know what my tattoos are? When I get a new blog follower, I go to their profile page and print out their pic and get it tattooed somewhere on my body. If you want to know where yours is, email me. (BTW, I’ve got a few choice spots left. Let me know which one you want!)

9. bulbus nude ass: That may be where my tattoo of you is.

8. Sociopath smell: I thought I smelled like Teen Spirit, but apparently I smell like a sociopath. It’s kind of a sandal wood smell.

7. cool reason to guve up sleep: I think a cool reason to guve up sleep is to read every #ThePhilFactor post ever. Just keep scrolling backward. And call work. You won’t be going in today.

6. psychic will trump be impeached: As the only psychic on this blog I answered this question HERE

5. look at what you did dr. david dao: I’m pretty sure David Dao didn’t do anything. He looks downright lazy there. The airline crew is doing all the work!.

4. stop sending me chain letters: Those aren’t chain letters. You signed up for the emails when I post to my blog. But as long as you’re here, I’m a Nigerian Prince and I have a large sum of money I’d like to send to your bank account.

3. phil government shitdowb: Relax everyone. The Phil Government is just fine. There will be no shitdowb on my watch!

2. phil hindi sex: As much as I enjoy strangers from all over the world wanting very personal information about me, I swear I have never had sex with a hindi. Not that I’m opposed. I’m sure that most of the Hindi speaking people would be fine sexual partners. I think they even wrote a book about it.

1. Queen Amidala on toilet: I’m not sure what’s stranger; that someone searched this topic, or that Google directed them to my blog when they searched it.

Trust me, there were a few worse search terms that I refuse to put on my family friendly blog. The only thing more disturbing than some of these search terms is the spelling and grammar some people use. Obviously many of them don’t google the spelling of what they’re looking up. I hope you have a great weekend! ~Phil

I Love My Weirdos: Fun with Search Terms!

Those of us that write blogs know the horror. The horror of the crazy, bizarre search terms that someone types into Google that brings them to our blogs. Fortunately it’s only our blogs that they come to because I wouldn’t want them coming to my house. Here are the ten funniest, or ten weirdest search terms that brought people to #ThePhilFactor over the last three months:

10. Real sexting conversations to read in Hindi: First, Hindi is a language, not a religion, and it is spoken by the majority of people from India and other countries in that neck of the woods. Why my blog? Because of this post from two years ago. I get at least 75 views a day related to that phrase. Also, if you came here because you’re a horny Hindi looking for dating help, read this

9. Michael Phelps day job: Yes, the former Olympic swimmer is now a contributor at The Phil Factor.

8. Worst candy ever made: I’m thankful the search wasn’t “worst eye candy ever.” My ego remains intact, for now.

7. Horniestintheland.com: What can I say? My reputation precedes me. At least once every quarter someone gets to my site with this search term.

6. the rock Dwayne Johnson depeche mode: What? Yes, the word is out that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has joined the iconic 80’s/90’s goth band Depeche Mode. I’ll soon be interviewing him here. Man, that guy will do anything for a buck!

5. What brought people to Greenland? I have no idea!  A better question is what brought this searcher to my blog with that question? Not to brag or anything , but The Phil Factor is the most popular blog in Greenland.

4. A safe word and a rib eye: The only time people use a “safe word” is during S&M sex, so why wouldn’t they come to The Phil Factor for safe word ideas? If any of you out there use safe words, I would be so proud if at least once you used “The Phil Factor” as your safe word. Apparently,  after S&M sex people like to enjoy a good rib eye steak. That’s the odd part, because a good steak sounds like foreplay to me.

3. Join us cult: I’ve got a good following, but I wasn’t aware I had reached cult status. I’ll take it though. Cult leaders are always charismatic, right?  I think I’ll call my followers the Philistines! Maybe me and the Philistines can live in the Philippines! Are you a Philistine?

2. lost soles helen, ga: I know what this means, but I doubt you do. When I was publishing my book The Sneaker Tree, I posted a series of articles about those mysterious trees you find all over the world that are filled with shoes. In Helen, Georgia, USA, there’s a tree next to a river called the Lost Soles Tree. When people are riding inflatable tubes down the river they often lose shoes. All the found shoes are put on the tree.

1. lichtenstein public nudity: Another niche country where The Phil Factor is hugely popular. As for the nudity, well who wouldn’t want to see all those attractive Lichtensteiners nude? That is one good looking country! I also discovered that if you search “Lichtenstein public nudity” the second thing that comes up on Google is this previous post of mine.

For all you weirdos out there, we know what you’re searching for and we just might publish it on our blogs, which will of course cause more searches leading more weirdos like you to our blogs, and that’s just fine with us because we love to see the number of views. Have a great weekend! ~Phil