Tag Archives: search terms humor

I Love My Weirdos: Fun with Search Terms!

Those of us that write blogs know the horror. The horror of the crazy, bizarre search terms that someone types into Google that brings them to our blogs. Fortunately it’s only our blogs that they come to because I wouldn’t want them coming to my house. Here are the ten funniest, or ten weirdest search terms that brought people to #ThePhilFactor over the last three months:

10. Real sexting conversations to read in Hindi: First, Hindi is a language, not a religion, and it is spoken by the majority of people from India and other countries in that neck of the woods. Why my blog? Because of this post from two years ago. I get at least 75 views a day related to that phrase. Also, if you came here because you’re a horny Hindi looking for dating help, read this

9. Michael Phelps day job: Yes, the former Olympic swimmer is now a contributor at The Phil Factor.

8. Worst candy ever made: I’m thankful the search wasn’t “worst eye candy ever.” My ego remains intact, for now.

7. Horniestintheland.com: What can I say? My reputation precedes me. At least once every quarter someone gets to my site with this search term.

6. the rock Dwayne Johnson depeche mode: What? Yes, the word is out that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has joined the iconic 80’s/90’s goth band Depeche Mode. I’ll soon be interviewing him here. Man, that guy will do anything for a buck!

5. What brought people to Greenland? I have no idea!  A better question is what brought this searcher to my blog with that question? Not to brag or anything , but The Phil Factor is the most popular blog in Greenland.

4. A safe word and a rib eye: The only time people use a “safe word” is during S&M sex, so why wouldn’t they come to The Phil Factor for safe word ideas? If any of you out there use safe words, I would be so proud if at least once you used “The Phil Factor” as your safe word. Apparently,  after S&M sex people like to enjoy a good rib eye steak. That’s the odd part, because a good steak sounds like foreplay to me.

3. Join us cult: I’ve got a good following, but I wasn’t aware I had reached cult status. I’ll take it though. Cult leaders are always charismatic, right?  I think I’ll call my followers the Philistines! Maybe me and the Philistines can live in the Philippines! Are you a Philistine?

2. lost soles helen, ga: I know what this means, but I doubt you do. When I was publishing my book The Sneaker Tree, I posted a series of articles about those mysterious trees you find all over the world that are filled with shoes. In Helen, Georgia, USA, there’s a tree next to a river called the Lost Soles Tree. When people are riding inflatable tubes down the river they often lose shoes. All the found shoes are put on the tree.

1. lichtenstein public nudity: Another niche country where The Phil Factor is hugely popular. As for the nudity, well who wouldn’t want to see all those attractive Lichtensteiners nude? That is one good looking country! I also discovered that if you search “Lichtenstein public nudity” the second thing that comes up on Google is this previous post of mine.

For all you weirdos out there, we know what you’re searching for and we just might publish it on our blogs, which will of course cause more searches leading more weirdos like you to our blogs, and that’s just fine with us because we love to see the number of views. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Fun With Search Terms: The Holiday Edition

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For me, the thrill of holidays and birthdays is not in the gifts I get, but the surprise. There’s nothing I love more than opening a present to find that someone has chosen something I never thought of, but I immediately love it. As a blogger, looking at our list of search terms that brought people to our blog is like that. Like Forrest Gump said, “Search terms are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. And The Phil Factor is the best blog ever.” That’s an exact quote from the movie. Look it up. Although the movie is 22 years old, it predicted my blog. When I saw that movie in 1994, I knew that I’d wait about ten years and start this blog. Ok, that’s not true, but what is true is this list of ridiculous things people typed into Google and as a result ended up here.

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Katy Perry Fighting: I tried to keep it out of the media, but when I turned Katy down for a date, well, I don’t want to say anything bad about her, but let’s just say that she didn’t take it well. I had to delete her spiteful comments on my blog several times.

top 10 sexiest men alive of 2016: Blah, blah, blah. Making the top ten is not what I was shooting for.

McDonald’s Vatican: Yes, Pope Francis, you’re welcome. Now you can have McNuggets every day if you want. What’s really cool is that the workers at the Vatican McDonald’s wear tiny McDonald’s Pope hats.

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horniestintheland.com: I will neither confirm nor deny if that’s true.

pumpkin spice oil change: I love it every fall when the seasonal oil flavors come out.

he is swearing at me pictures: I swear that I am not swearing at anyone and if you think I am, you should talk with your doctor to see if The Phil Factor is right for you.

Amish birthday: I always invite all the Amish to celebrate their birthday on my blog. In fact, if you see Jedediah Gruber today, wish him a happy 44th birthday!

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i want sexting: I have no idea why Google thought this person should be directed to The Phil Factor. That is not a service I provide, unless the price is right.

real sexting conversations to read in hindi full hd: मैं अपनी हिंदी पाठकों प्यार   That message is for a select few. 😉  The rest of you can move on. Nothing to see here. But if you do see it, it will be in full hd.

Tuesday theme shows: I’m sorry for all the times I wrote about Tuesday themed shows such as….umm…are there any Tuesday themed shows? Anywhere?

Psychic predictions, 2016: It’s a well established fact that I’m psychic. I know you don’t believe me, but I know that because I am psychic. See? Come back on Thursday Dec. 29 when I will review my 2016 psychic predictions to see how many I got right.

Those were just some of the best presents I found in my search terms log over the last three months. What were some of yours? Have a great weekend! ~Phil