Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Signs Your Wife is Cheating With an Amish Guy

10. She’s never secretly texting in the bathroom.

9. She buys lots of new flannel lingerie

Harrison Ford in the movie Witness

Harrison Ford in the movie Witness

8. Suddenly begins going to nighttime barn raisings with “the girls.”

7. Comes home with straw in her hair.

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6. She suddenly has this new “butter churn” move in the bedroom.

5. Buys a loom

4. Seems oddly aroused when she sees horses on television.

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3. She receives an actual handwritten letter in the mail which you are unable to read because it’s in cursive.

2. Announces that she’s going to the Amish pub to participate in a wet bonnet contest.

1. Gets a tattoo of an Amish hat with the caption “Once you go black you never go back”

You would not believe some of the creepy terms I had to put into Google to find the pictures and get ideas for this. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog button below. Also, if you haven’t voted for the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards, I’d be grateful if you’d go HERE and vote for me as Funniest Blogger. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

17 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Signs Your Wife is Cheating With an Amish Guy

  1. I am a little curious to know HOW you got the idea for this….

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You’ve made the DMV an enjoyable experience. That’s saying something.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh man… I wonder where your mind wanders …

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish I had a wittier comment. This is hilarious! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I live in Upstate, NY. Yes, lots of Amish. I see a horse and buggy go by my house all the time. They stop at the lumber yard across the street.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Funny one, Phil. I think I would add “If you get a pair of overhalls for your birthday.” and maybe, “If she asks you to wear a pair of boots to bed.”

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I do receive letters written in cursive from time to time…

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Flannel knickers? hmmmm…I must have a chat with me ma. She’s veeerrrry fond of flannel knickers

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Admit it—you weren’t complaining about that butter churn move until the letters started arriving 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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