Who doesn’t want celebrity nipples? Am I right? Admit it, we’ve all thought, “I wish my nipples looked more like (Seth Rogen, Queen Elizabeth, Kathy Bates, Kevin James etc.) ” Well now your dreams have come true! With a little cosmetic surgery your nipples can look just like those of any celebrity in the world, even mine! (Although, I would charge you a fee to have my nipples. I’ve trademarked them just in case someone wants to copy them)
Right now, you have three options. You can A) Read THIS ARTICLE from BusinessInsider.com. (Way to go Business Insider. You’re definitely not going for salacious views at all by putting boobs on your “business” website) B) View the following video by the New York Post about women who want Kendall Jenner’s nipples, or C) Don’t click anything and just read me making fun of this.
So how many of you just zipped to option C to hear what kind of wisdom I’ll be dispensing today? Although it was the above video that caught my attention on Twitter, women aren’t the only ones who undergo plastic surgery to look like celebrities. Surprisingly, many men do it too. If you really want your stomach turned, read THIS Phil Factor post from 2014 about a man who, with the help of plastic surgery, tried to be a Justin Bieber look alike. I don’t know if he has Justin Bieber nipples, and I don’t want to know. (when the search engine bots pick up on the phrase Justin Bieber nipples my blog is going to get a ton of views.)
You know what? I don’t care if anyone gets any surgery to look like anyone else. More power to you. What I am incensed about is that plastic surgery and cosmetic alterations are so much more acceptable for women. If a man gets calf implants, Channing Tatum nipples and lip botox, suddenly he’s looked at differently. Not that I need any plastic surgery of course, I’m Phil, but in doing “research” for this post I found an article online about the ten most popular plastic surgeries for men. So, step back ladies, you’re not the only ones that want to look pretty!
If you’ve got the money, you can turn into Dr. Frankenstein’s monster with parts from all your favorite celebrities! I imagine a future (don’t I always see the future?) where you go to a plastic surgeons office like you’d go to McDonald’s and choose your look from a menu of celebrities and their parts. “I’d like a David Beckham with a side of Brad Pitt, but instead of the sideburns, give me a Chris Hemsworth chin.”
My plan is to create and open a chain of these places that cater to Canadian women. I’ll name it Chick Phil, Eh? (I know at least one of you will get that joke and appreciate it) So, on a different note let’s end this with a poll:
Have a great weekend! ~Phil