Throwback Thursday! Britney Baby One More Time!

This post from June of 2006 is truly a time machine. When was the last time you heard of Britney Spears in the news? Back in 2006 she was big news every week. Also, what’s funny about this is that you could have, at any point in the last ten years, deleted Britney’s name and inserted Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Charlie Sheen, or Kim Kardashian and it would be the same post.

(June 16, 2006) Is it just me, or is everyone tired of hearing about Britney Spears? No one this dumb has been this famous since Forrest Gump. When I become President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to declare a one year moratorium on Britney Spears news. I’m pretty sure that if we went a year without Britney news the sun would still continue to rise every day and life, death, and taxes would still go on.

I don’t know the exact statistics, but judging by the amount of publicity she has received over the last two years, I would guess that Britney has been married at least six times and hasn’t gone a day without being pregnant. Also, based on the frequency of media reports, I would guess that her many children are constantly in danger of losing their lives based on her stupidity. If she wants to drive down the Santa Monica freeway with her infant child on the roof of her car, feel free to call Child Protective Services, but please don’t put it on t.v. or the cover of every magazine in my supermarket. Unless her next husband is the Pope, I also don’t give a rat’s ass who she is or isn’t married to.

The next time Britney goes a day without being married or pregnant you can let me know, because that truly would be news. And if someone could manage to snap a photo of her where she isn’t crying with black mascara running down her face I certainly would appreciate it. For god’s sake someone, get the girl some Prozac and a makeover! The other day I was home watching ABC (All Britney Channel) when they tried to slip in some crazy story about a war in Iraq. How long has that been going on?

6 responses to “Throwback Thursday! Britney Baby One More Time!

  1. This rant made me laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Are you a little bit gutted that she isn’t in the news with black mascara smeared down her face anymore?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha, Phil, you truly are wicked.

    Liked by 1 person

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