I haven’t done one of these posts in a while. This is my quarterly reminder that even if you have your computer in ghost mode or you haven’t signed in to Google, someone somewhere knows what you searched when you’re home alone. Big Brother may not be watching, but I am. So without further self-indulgent blathering by yours truly, these are not the most popular search terms that brought people to The Phil Factor, but they are definitely the most interesting:
Sex position for Tuesday: It’s a little known fact that certain sexual positions on certain days of the week lead to a higher rate of conception. I am the world’s foremost expert on this subject, so for a fee, I will advise. In response to this inquiry, the answer is The Blender Bender. You’re welcome. Enjoy.
Can sociopaths smell? A clinical study showed that people with a poor sense of smell score highly on ratings of sociopathic tendencies. I would guess that most of you can’t even smell the aroma I’ve programmed my blog to give off when you open the web page. If you can’t smell it, then you’re a sociopath.
Doppelganger women fight: Every man’s fantasy, right? I’d say that it depends on the woman.
Perks of being the Pope: It’s a little known fact that the Pope and I are old pals. We went to band camp together one summer and we still keep in touch. One of the perks of being the Pope is that he gets to drive the Popemobile, and he just loves to pull up to my house in that thing. He’s so smug.
What do kids get out of snorting Tide pods? I would guess not much more than their nostrils smelling like lavender breeze. Kids, if you’re reading this, stop snorting Tide Pods. Have you even tried drugs?
Foot Fetish certificate: I used to be in charge of awarding the foot fetish certificates worldwide, but now apparently it’s Amazon.com. Go ahead, click that. I dare you.
Funny drinking charities: These are my favorite charities. Apparently, I am a funny drinking charity. Amazon author stats show that the only time anyone has ordered one of my books is when they are drunk. How does Amazon know that? Trust me, Amazon knows everything. EVERYTHING!
Celebrity nipples: So I’ve got an old friend who is a very well respected and confidential cosmetic surgeon, and long story short, Ryan Gosling has nothing on me, or is it vice-versa?
Have a great Sunday! ~Phil
I’d go look at mine, but there’s just some things I really don’t want to know.
It is scary what people think of
so funny. i’ll take a look at mine )
I watched this movie about the information Google gets, and basically Google is compiling information on each and everyone of us, every time we time a question in. We are the product. That’s a very scary thing. I have tried to wean myself off of Google, but had little success. EEEK!!!!
Google must think I’m pretty strange because sometimes, when I’m writing these posts, I Google the terms that people googled to get to my blog.
I can never seem to locate those search terms that people use to stumble on my posts.
I never get any interesting search terms. I’d be jealous but maybe it’s better that I don’t!
I thought everyone was going to go look at nipples and then I realized it was search terms. I’ll leave that to you, Phil. Super post.
Back to the Foot Fetish…
Or wait… niPPles😁