Tag Archives: Aliens humor

My 2024 Psychic Predictions: Already Got One Right

Remember my 2024 psychic predictions from about two weeks ago when I said, “2024 will be the year of UFO’s: Everywhere across the world there will be more public and political acknowledgement that our world is regularly visited by beings from other worlds, leading to the discovery that Pete Davidson is an alien, but a nice one.”

I guess I can check that one off the list. I don’t know if Pete Davidson was there, but January 1st in Miami there was a huge police presence at a mall and they shut it down, evacuating everyone.

According to Forbes.com: “10ft Aliens/Creatures (caught on camera?) fired at inside and outside Miami Mall, media silent, cops are covering it up saying kids were fighting with fireworks, yet all these cop cars, & air traffic stopped that night except for black military choppers…and no media coverage,” one account on X claimed. (That’s the picture of the mall above)

Not a real picture of an alien shopping at the Miami mall.

I’m not saying I believe that aliens were at Cinnabon in Miami , but as I said, this year there will be more public discourse about aliens than we’ve heard since the Roswell incident.

(Thank you to AI for the above spot on pic)

It was probably a bunch of rowdy teenagers on a Friday night, and to be fair, teenagers might as well be aliens. But what if there’s a 1% chance it was real aliens? How much more interesting would our world suddenly be?

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

Proof of Alien Life?

The idea of beings from other planets or solar systems has been with us for almost as long as humans have been here on planet Earth, yet absolute proof has escaped us. Take a deep breath and brace yourself for this next sentence. Here it is: We, (when I say we, I don’t mean me and everyone reading this. I mean human scientists)  may have proof of alien existence. Yes, and they (and when I say “they” I mean some authority somewhere) seem to be trying to downplay this so that we don’t panic. The whole Russia invading Ukraine thing may even be concocted to distract us from the fact that there’s proof of aliens. OK, OK, I’ll get to the scientific proof. Next paragraph…

According to USA TodayA team of astronomers discovered “something unusual” – a mysterious object sending bursts of energy every 20 minutes. The object is about 4,000 light-years away, but its energy bursts were so big that it was one of the largest radio sources in the sky. The burst happened for one minute, every 20 minutes before it disappeared for a few hours, then repeated the cycle, according to a study published in the journal Nature. “This object was appearing and disappearing over a few hours during our observations,” said Natasha Hurley-Walker, astrophysicist and lead author of the study. “It was kind of spooky for an astronomer because there’s nothing known in the sky that does that.”

Ok, let’s think about what they just said. The lead author of the study said it was spooky. That’s definitely concerning, right? If  somebody with a Ph.D. in astrophysics is spooked, I’m worried.

They also said that “there’s nothing in the sky that does that.” Well, apparently there is, isn’t there?  Then at the end they offhandedly wrap things up with “Seth Shostak, senior astronomer at the SETI Institute, said there’s no need to worry about aliens, because although it’s definitely an unusual discovery, it is “obviously nature.”

Really Seth? NATURE?!!? Nature is sending out massive radio signals on a regular schedule? I’ve never heard of any nature on Earth, other than humans, sending out radio signals. Has the ocean, llamas or trees ever sent out any radio signals that could be picked up on the other side of the universe? NO. Our nature doesn’t do that, but we do and we have nuclear weapons, so the logical conclusion is that aliens with similar weapons are sending out radio signals and it’s probably not songs from Bruno Mars. (see what I did there? Radio signals from space & Bruno Mars?) And if there is alien life on other planets, doesn’t that also imply the existence of a Bruno Saturn and Bruno Uranus?

ALF

What really pisses me off is that scientists can get radio signals from 4,000 light years away and Verizon can’t get me their alleged 5G signal if I’m inside the supermarket.

Shouldn’t this be a bigger story? As a human race we’ve got to hope that the aliens shooting out those radio signals are more like Alf and Marvin the Martian than the alien from Alien. Keep an eye on the sky, and I’ll keep you posted. 

Have a great Sunday!~Phil