Tag Archives: funny holiday traditions

Ranking The Top Ten Holidays Worldwide

In the States and many other countries, the “holiday season” is here. It occurred to me that I should probably rank the holidays and let you argue with me.

I’ll try to avoid being United States centric. Sure we’ve got a great country with some arse kicking holidays, but thanks to my 18 years in the blogosphere I’ve been exposed to other cultures and subsequently I realize that my point of view isn’t the only point of view. I’d love to hear your thoughts on your favorite holidays and how you think that they stack up against the best holidays in the world.

10. Easter: Nothing like starting my list with a little bit of blasphemy. Easter gets the nod here because as a child on Easter, I would wake up and my parents would have hidden my Easter basket full of candy somewhere in the house. I loved the challenge of having to solve a mystery to get my candy. And then candy for breakfast! They hid my Easter basket every year until I was 18. On the Easter when I was an 18 year old college student I was so disappointed to wake up and discover that they had just left my Easter basket in front of my bedroom door.

9. Bhodi Day: What is Bhodi Day? It’s a Buddhist holiday celebrating Buddha’s enlightenment under a Bhodi tree. Because there are many different Buddhists and Buddhist calendars all over the world, the holiday is celebrated on different dates. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will make sure Bhodi Day always happens on a Friday so we can have a long weekend.

8. Valentine’s Day: A holiday all about love! How could I possibly rank it this low? It was a tough call. Who doesn’t love love? Nobody, right? Nope. That’s not true. People who want a romantic partner and don’t have one are never happy on Valentine’s Day.

7. Eid al-Fitr: If you’re not familiar, Eid al-Fitr is massive feast that Muslims have to celebrate the end of Ramadan, which is a month in which they don’t eat from dawn to dusk each day. I’m all in for a giant feast anytime, especially after fast. I intermittent fast sometimes and I’m ready to binge eat after six hours!

This is a great picture. Thanks People Magazine

6. Day of the Dead: It’s Mexico’s Halloween but it lasts two days! I want to move to San Diego so I can celebrate Halloween on Oct. 31st and then drive across the border and celebrate Day of the Dead for two days. That’s three Halloween days in a row. If Day of the Dead is two days long, then why isn’t it Days of the Dead plural?

5. Halloween: I love the celebration of spooky things. And c’mon! Kids dressing up in costumes and getting free stuff from strangers? I can’t see how that could possibly go wrong! Adults have the opportunity to dress up as their true selves and get drunk at parties. What’s not to like?

4. Diwali: I highlighted this one last weekend. A densely packed population getting drunk and setting off fireworks is tough to beat.

3. Christmas: It’s tough to beat the run up to this holiday. The decorating and complete culture overhaul for one month are not matched by any other holiday.

This one is available on Amazon

2. Hannukah: Gasp! What? He ranked Hannukah over Christian Christmas?!!? Blasphemy! Nope, it’s not blasphemy. It’s simple math. Eight days of presents vs. one day of presents.

1. New Year: Whether it’s New Year in Times Square or the Chinese New Year, the celebration of the beginning of a new calendar year is universal. I have to say that I really respect China for ignoring the rest of the world and having their own New Year celebration 6 weeks later. I also hope that there a lot of people in China who celebrate both New Years. If it’s the best holiday, why not do it twice?

Those are my rankings. How would you rank them? Is there another holiday or two that you want on the list? Answer in the comment section below!

Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Ten Weird Holiday Traditions from Around The World

onemomsworld.wordpress.com

Not everybody celebrates the holidays just like you do. One of the ten traditions in the list is made up by me. See if you can guess which one is the fake and put your guess in the comments.

Ten Weird Holiday Traditions From Around the World

10. South Africa: In South Africa deep fried caterpillars are the traditional holiday meal. Who knows why? Maybe they believe that eating caterpillars symbolically will make their life turn into a butterfly or some such nonsense. Or maybe caterpillars are just really tasty. Who are we kidding? Anything deep fried IS really tasty.

sundried-emperor-moth-caterpillars-photo-credit-gizmag

9. Norway: Maybe my blogging friend Maja Asgautsen from Norway can tell me if this is accurate. According to what I read in the internet, in Norway it’s traditional not to do any cleaning on Christmas Eve and all brooms are put away. Sounds like Norwegian Christmas Eve happens at my house several days every week.

8. Caracas, Venezuela: Residents of this one town, Caracas, go to Christmas Eve mass on roller skates.

this-one-caracas

7. Germany: In Germany they hide a pickle in the Christmas tree and the first child to find it gets a small gift. I would bet that in German bars around the holidays  “Hey gorgeous, how would you like to play hide the pickle?” is an overused, and probably unsuccessful pick up line.

6. Ukraine: In the Ukraine, instead of tinsel and lights they decorate their Christmas trees with fake spider webs and spiders. Apparently they watch The Nightmare Before Christmas  a little too often.

5. China: In China families bring their pets, dogs, cats, and birds to a special mass on Christmas Eve to have them blessed. In Chinese culture it is believed that animals are more susceptible to demonic possession and the ceremony is thought to “cleanse” them for the coming year.  That is why most households have a “lucky cat” statue to ward off evil spirits.

lucky-chinese-cat-27637011

4. Estonia: Families go to the sauna together. I’m cool with going to the sauna, but with my family? Ugh.

3. Great Britain: Tradition dictates that each member of the family must stir the Christmas pudding in a clockwise direction and make a wish. Reportedly 90% of wishes are “I wish is wasn’t cold and rainy.”

funny-picture-weather-in-england

2. Guatemala: They sweep out their houses on Christmas Eve, with brooms they borrowed from the Norwegianscreating a pile of dirt in front of their home. Then they burn an effigy of the devil on top. Geez, Guatemala, lighten up, it’s Christmas! It’s supposed to be fun.

1. Greece: In a twisted version of Elf on the Shelf, the Greeks tell their children that the Kallikantzaroi, a race of evil goblins that live undergroundcome to the surface to wreak havoc during the twelve days of Christmas. Nice, parenting by terror. What’s more traditional than that?

Well, one of those ten is a completely fake. Which one do you think it is? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Ten Weird Holiday Traditions From Around the World

onemomsworld.wordpress.com

Not everybody celebrates the holidays just like you do. One of the ten traditions in the list is made up by me. See if you can guess which one is the fake and put your guess in the comments.

Ten Weird Holiday Traditions From Around the World

10. South Africa: In South Africa deep fried caterpillars are the traditional holiday meal. Who knows why? Maybe they believe that eating caterpillars symbolically will make their life turn into a butterfly or some such nonsense. Or maybe caterpillars are just really tasty. Who are we kidding? Anything deep fried IS really tasty.

sundried-emperor-moth-caterpillars-photo-credit-gizmag

9. Norway: Maybe my blogging friend Maja Asgautsen from Norway can tell me if this is accurate. According to what I read in the internet, in Norway it’s traditional not to do any cleaning on Christmas Eve and all brooms are put away. Sounds like Norwegian Christmas Eve happens at my house several days every week.

8. Caracas, Venezuela: Residents of this one town, Caracas, go to Christmas Eve mass on roller skates.

this-one-caracas

7. Germany: In Germany they hide a pickle in the Christmas tree and the first child to find it gets a small gift. I would bet that in German bars around the holidays  “Hey gorgeous, how would you like to play hide the pickle?” is an overused, and probably unsuccessful pick up line.

6. Ukraine: In the Ukraine, instead of tinsel and lights they decorate their Christmas trees with fake spider webs and spiders. Apparently they watch The Nightmare Before Christmas  a little too often.

5. China: In China families bring their pets, dogs, cats, and birds to a special mass on Christmas Eve to have them blessed. In Chinese culture it is believed that animals are more susceptible to demonic possession and the ceremony is thought to “cleanse” them for the coming year.  That is why most households have a “lucky cat” statue to ward off evil spirits.

lucky-chinese-cat-27637011

4. Estonia: Families go to the sauna together. I’m cool with going to the sauna, but with my family? Ugh.

3. Great Britain: Tradition dictates that each member of the family must stir the Christmas pudding in a clockwise direction and make a wish. Reportedly 90% of wishes are “I wish is wasn’t cold and rainy.”

funny-picture-weather-in-england

2. Guatemala: They sweep out their houses on Christmas Eve, with brooms they borrowed from the Norwegianscreating a pile of dirt in front of their home. Then they burn an effigy of the devil on top. Geez, Guatemala, lighten up, it’s Christmas! It’s supposed to be fun.

1. Greece: In a twisted version of Elf on the Shelf, the Greeks tell their children that the Kallikantzaroi, a race of evil goblins that live undergroundcome to the surface to wreak havoc during the twelve days of Christmas. Nice, parenting by terror. What’s more traditional than that?

Well, one of those ten is a completely fake. Which one do you think it is? Have a great Friday! ~Phil