Category Archives: Holidays

Ten Reasons to Hate The Holidays

Posted on December 8, 2025 | 8 comments

“You’re a mean one Mister Grinch. You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch. You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.”

Yup, that’s me, king of sarcasm and hater of all things jolly. I’m not saying that there aren’t things to love about the holidays. There are plenty, but c’mon, if we’re truly being honest, there are a lot of things to hate about the holidays. Here’s my top ten. (Btw, tomorrow I’ll post Ten Reasons to Love The Holidays.)

10. The holidays mess up our Amazon orders! As much as we all love Amazon, there’s nothing more frustrating than the holiday season when our orders don’t always make it to us on time.

9. Candy Canes? Yes, candy canes are one of the worst parts of the holiday season. They are delicious and I love them, but I also hate them. Candy Canes are so ridiculously sticky that after the first refreshing hit of minty-ness, you realize that your lips and fingers are covered in a demonic sticky substance.

Pic from The Jewish News of Northern California

8. Having two major religious holidays during the same month is confusing! They are both great holidays, but why can’t we have them happen at the same time, or better yet, merge them into one holiday? I never know if I should be saying Happy Hannukah or Merry Christmas. Think about it, Christmas celebrates the birthday of a certain Jewish carpenter, so why not just pick a week and call it HanChristNukahMas? Also, if you want to read an awesomely funny novel about Jesus growing up as a teenager, read Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.  Before you buy that book, you should read my interview with the author Christopher Moore. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my years of blogging.

Pic & recipe can be found at Back To The Book Nutrition

7. The Nog Shortage: Much like the Fall Pumpkin Spice influx, the winter holiday season is everything nog this and nog that. It’s hard to find a beverage that doesn’t offer a nog flavored option. But if you like nog, you’re screwed about 8 weeks later. Apparently nog is such a rare and valuable commodity that it can only be offered for a limited time. I’m going to get rich by drilling a nog well in my backyard and then selling my nog at outrageous prices. I will also have a Nog Blog.

That’s a perfect pic and you can find an article about why we shouldn’t buy gifts for adults HERE

6. Buying Gifts for Adults: I came up with this idea on my own and found the above pic and USA Today column when I looked for a pic to match my Scrooge-like idea. Once you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, haven’t you either bought yourself whatever the hell you wanted to, or bought each other anything you each need. My wife and I just skip gifts and promise to buy each other whatever bauble strikes our fancy on the next vacation.

5. Holiday movies set in southern California: I hate them because the people always look so happy to go outside and hang lights on their palm trees. Jerks. They’re just flaunting their warm weather and lack of snow. If you want a holiday movie to make me happy, how about one where a bunch of So-Cal people are stranded by an avalanche in the Santa Monica mountains and they have to eat each other to survive.

4. Jack Black in The Holiday: I have enjoyed Jack Black’s work in many films, but this isn’t one of them. He’s the least convincing romantic character since Silence of The Lambs.

3. Commercials: I’ve never walked out to my driveway to find a car with a bow on it. I’ve seen versions of this commercial since I was a kid, setting me up with unrealistic expectations.  Look, Bill Gates, I know you and your wife donate millions to charitable causes; just once could you skip a few mosquito nets and vaccines and have a Lexus delivered to my driveway?

2. Inconvenience: From now until January 2nd, leaving your house is going to be more inconvenient than usual. Just going out for groceries is now a Herculean task. Everything and everywhere have more people trying to do the same things.

This above scene is happening everywhere all the time right now. What is wrong with people?

1. Santa Claus: And you thought they’re milking the Batman and Spider-Man characters for all their worth? St. Nick hasn’t changed in centuries! Jeez, get that guy a cape and some superpowers. How awesome would that be if he had a nemesis that was out trying to stop him from delivering presents. God has the devil, Batman has the Joker, why can’t Santa have a nemesis?

Please put your holiday pet peeves in the comments. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor don’t be a Grinch and share it by hitting the Facebook button below. Have a great Saturday and come back tomorrow for Ten Reasons To Love The Holidays! ~Phil

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It’s Groundhog Day 2025!

Posted on February 2, 2025 | 16 comments

The two best Phil’s ever! Punxsutawney and Me

In case you didn’t know, it’s Groundhog Day!

Who doesn’t love this old movie? Especially since Bill Murray‘s character was named Phil. And, the groundhog is also named Phil. Coincidence? I think not. This post was originally written for #ThePhilFactor on Feb. 2, 2006 and I now post it every year, over and over, just like Phil’s Groundhog Day in the movie.

(Feb. 2, 2006) Last week I waxed philosophic about the idiocy known as The Dr. Phil Show. This week, and today in particular it’s Punxsutawney Phil. Groundhog Day the movie: Good idea. Groundhog Day the tradition: Stupid idea.

The dimwitted people of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania have been shoving a rodent through a hole in a tree stump for almost 200 hundred years to find out if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Hey morons, you live in the Northeast! There’s always 6 more weeks of winter! Check the calendar! It says that Spring starts on March 21st. That’s 7 weeks from now. You don’t need a rat being spooked by his shadow to figure this one out.

I’m always a sucker for a good Phil pun

At this point I’m getting tired of all these wanna-be Phil’s trying to horn in on my fame. If, coincidentally, a shot were to ring out in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today and a certain rodent were to explode in a puff of fur, I was kidding when I wrote this. Although, over the last few years, I have had to travel to Punxsutawney for work, but I make sure to cover my tracks. No harm meant, just a joke. You’ll all be my alibi right?

I’m curious, for those of you from other countries, do you have a Groundhog Day? As always, if you enjoyed this vintage Phil Factor feel free to share it via the social media buttons below. Come back Saturday for a brand new Phil Factor. Have a great Sunday! Phil

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Posted in Holiday humor, Holidays, pop culture

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New Years Eve For Boomers!

Posted on December 30, 2024 | 2 comments

Congratulations! Your Pontiac Fiero has taken you past the threshold of normal adulthood. Now as a bona fide Boomer, you’re faced with the perplexing challenge of navigating New Year’s Eve like an adult adult. (yes, I meant to say adult twice) Fear not boomer-in-training; I’m here to help you gracefully waltz into the new year without tripping over your slip-on Skechers. (BTW, Skechers feel free to contact me if you’d like to sponsor The Phil Factor.)

1. The Wardrobe Dilemma: Pajamas or Actual Pants?

So you invited neighbors Barb and George over for drinks and watching the apple, ball, or sponsored logo drop in Times Square. Now you face the age-old question of what to wear. As a Boomer, the struggle is real—do you opt for the sophistication of actual clothes or succumb to the allure of cozy pajamas? The answer: both. Consider rocking the “business casual on top, party on the bottom” look. That way, when the clock strikes twelve, no matter where you are, you can triumphantly kick your guests out and declare, “I’m ready for bed!” It’s your living room and you can damn well wear whatever you want. Pro tip: pajama jeans! (Also Phil Factor sponsor opportunity available)

Pic from MarketWatch.com

2. Decoding the Art of Adult Conversations

Gone are the days of discussing the latest video games or keeping up with current music. As a Boomer, your conversations now revolve around mortgage rates, the stock market, and the enigma that is Boomering. (Yep, I invented the verb “Boomering” copyright pending.) Navigate the party small talk with poise, dropping gems like, “Have you diversified your investment portfolio lately?” or “Here’s how I get more calcium in my diet…” That’s always a crowd pleaser.

Pic from X.com

3. The Midnight Toast: A Symphony of Wine Glasses

Let’s be honest, we’re probably not staying up until midnight, right? But we can pretend we are and toast at 10:00. In our twenties, the midnight toast involved questionable shots and clashing beer mugs. Now, as a Boomer, it’s all about the symphony of wine glasses clinking together. Pro tip: choose a wine that pairs well with Boomering, like a robust red that complements the complex flavors of your frustration with the internet and “kids these days.”

4. Crafting Resolutions: From Skydiving to Financial Savvy:

While your younger self might have resolved to skydive or backpack across Europe, your grown-up resolutions are more practical. Consider pledging to finally organize  your decades old junk drawer, conquer the art of meal prepping, or become a master at assembling IKEA furniture without a single leftover screw.

5. Countdown Contemplations: Balancing Excitement and Responsibility

As the countdown commences, the challenge is to balance the excitement of the impending new year with how much stress you think your heart can tolerate. Take a moment to reflect on your accomplishments, like successfully adulting your way through tax season or paying for your daughters wedding in Maui.

Pic from Insider.com

6. Champagne Popping Mastery: No Eye Injuries, Please!

Boomers pop champagne with the finesse of seasoned sommeliers. Ensure a smooth and injury-free cork release by holding the bottle at a 45-degree angle, gripping the cork firmly, and twisting the bottle—not the cork. Remember, no one wants to start the new year with a champagne-induced black eye. Pro-tip: If you go cheap enough, you can find champagne with a screw cap. Don’t worry, Barb and George won’t know the difference and they may be dozing off on your couch by this time

7. Post-Celebration Recovery: The Hangover Survival Kit

In our twenties, a hangover was a badge of honor. As a Boomer, if we made the mistake of one too many drinks, it’s a serious matter that requires a well-prepared survival kit. Stock up on electrolyte-infused beverages, pain relievers, and a gourmet breakfast delivery service, because pancakes delivered to your door are the epitome of Boomer luxury.

So there you have it—the essential guide for Boomers navigating the temporary, whimsical world of New Year’s Eve. Remember, being a Boomer doesn’t mean losing your sense of humor; it just means you’ve upgraded from partying all night to laughing about it the next day. Here’s to embracing the chaos, celebrating the wins, and proving that being a Boomer can be as hilarious as it is rewarding.

Cheers to Boomering in 2025! Thanks for reading and Happy New Year! ~Phil

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Ten Weird Holiday Traditions From Around The World!

Posted on December 21, 2024 | 5 comments

My first baby picture! (pic credit to https://www.artstation.com/yoneyu )

Ten Weird Holiday Traditions From Around the World

10. South Africa: In South Africa deep fried caterpillars are the traditional holiday meal. Who knows why? Maybe they believe that eating caterpillars symbolically will make their life turn into a butterfly or some such nonsense. Or maybe caterpillars are just really tasty. Who are we kidding? Anything deep fried IS really tasty.

sundried-emperor-moth-caterpillars-photo-credit-gizmag

9. Catalonia, Spain: I’ve been to Catalonia, but not during the holidays when children beat a decorated log that poops out candy. It’s called Caga Tio.

If you want to buy one of these, it’s available from Amazon in the U.K.

8. Caracas, Venezuela: Residents of this one town, Caracas, go to Christmas Eve mass on roller skates.

this-one-caracas

7. Germany: In Germany they hide a pickle in the Christmas tree and the first child to find it gets a small gift. I would bet that in German bars around the holidays  “Hey gorgeous, how would you like to play hide the pickle?” is an overused, and probably unsuccessful pick up line.

6. Ukraine: In the Ukraine, instead of tinsel and lights they decorate their Christmas trees with fake spider webs and spiders. Apparently they watch The Nightmare Before Christmas  a little too often.

Let’s hope this year they catch an evil Russian dictator in their webs

5. China: In China families bring their pets, dogs, cats, and birds to a special mass on Christmas Eve to have them blessed. In Chinese culture it is believed that animals are more susceptible to demonic possession and the ceremony is thought to “cleanse” them for the coming year.  That is why most households have a “lucky cat” statue to ward off evil spirits.

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4. Estonia: Families go to the sauna together. I’m cool with going to the sauna, but with my family? Ugh.

This is like one of those awkward Christmas family pictures

3. Great Britain: Tradition dictates that each member of the family must stir the Christmas pudding in a clockwise direction and make a wish. Reportedly 90% of wishes are “I wish is wasn’t cold and rainy.”

funny-picture-weather-in-england

2. Guatemala: They sweep out their houses on Christmas Eve, with brooms they borrowed from the Norwegians, creating a pile of dirt in front of their home. Then they burn an effigy of the devil on top. Geez, Guatemala, lighten up, it’s Christmas! It’s supposed to be fun.

1. Greece: In a twisted version of Elf on the Shelf, the Greeks tell their children that the Kallikantzaroi, a race of evil goblins that live underground, come to the surface to wreak havoc during the twelve days of Christmas. Nice, parenting by terror. What’s more traditional than that? I think that Greece and Guatemala should just get together and terrify their into submission.

Well, one of those ten is a fake. Which one do you think it is? Check the first comment below for my answer. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

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If You Really Like Halloween…

Posted on October 5, 2024 | 9 comments

Pic from iStockPhoto.com

Halloween is coming up and some of us enjoy it more than others. If you’re one of those people, I have good news! There are several Halloween-like holidays all over the world that you can put on your calendar to celebrate the spooky stuff almost all year round.

Pic by Creator: SAEED KHAN

The Yulan Festival-China: Like most good festivals that celebrate the dead, fire has to be involved. The Yulan Festival also known as The Hungry Ghost Festival occurs on the 15th night of the 7th month, which is July. It is believed that on the day of the Yulan Festival, the gates of hell open so that ghosts can roam the Earth in search of food and entertainment.

Entertainment? What kind of entertainment do ghosts want? They watch us all the time. That’s got to be pretty funny. And the ghosts want food too? For cripes sake, I don’t want to spend my after-life trick or treating in the nearest neighborhood. I wonder if they order out for Chinese? Fortunately, in China the living perform rituals and have a feast to appease the spirits. Ok, so we’ve got July and October covered for spookiness now.

Pic from National Geographic

The Obon Festival-Japan/Brazil/California: Another celebrating the dead festival that in some places is actually multiple festivals lasting from June through August. Food, fire, costumes, music and dancing. Who knew someone else’s death could be this fun! Ok, Obon pulled in June, so now we’ve got spooky holidays/celebrations from June through November. November you say? What happens in November? Well…

Smith/Getty Images)

Dia de Muertos-Mexico and neighboring countries. Otherwise known as The Day of The Dead, this celebration occurs from Oct. 31 through the first week of November. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pay respects and remember friends and family members who have died. These celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember amusing anecdotes about the departed. It’s one of my favorites as evidenced by my sugar skull and tie in the pic below:

So we’ve now got spookiness for five months. Sadly, we do have to skip the month of December to let Hannukah and Christmas to have their time, although I do plan on looking for some spooky Christmas content for you.

Pic from Bildderfrau.De

Walpurgis Night and Beltane: They occur at the same time but in different countries. Walpurgis Nacht (Night) is a German tradition, while Beltane is Irish & Scottish. They do occur on the same dates April 30/May 1.

Walpurgis Night was started to honor Saint Walpurga who was known for battling rabies, whooping cough and witches. Rabies, whooping cough and witches? Those German med school final exams must have been super weird. The night of April 30th into May 1st is supposed to be when the witches gather and ride. Walpurgis Night is celebrated in the Netherlands, Germany, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Finland, and Estonia. In Finland, Denmark and Norway

Beltane: Source Nen.press

Beltane? Stuff like that pic above happens in drag clubs all over the states every day. You should see Key West on New Year’s Eve. To be honest, I’ve seen things online about a lot of crazy festivals in Europe, such as the Boom Festival, that I’d love to go to, but that would be a whole other blog post.

Beltane historically has been celebrated in Ireland, Scotland and The Isle of Man. Btw, here’s a shout out to that one Isle of Man Phil Factor reader. I see you showing up in my stats. Don’t be shy! Say hi in the comments.

The Celts see Beltane as the beginning of Summer and it brings back life & fertility. Bel was a Celtic god, and the name Beltane means the ‘fire of Bel’. Fire is central to the celebrations on the belief that it has protective powers. It’s believed that rituals of walking around or leaping over bonfires will bring good fortune, fertility, happiness and third degree burns.

There you go. I’ve given you spooky stuff to celebrate In April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November. That’s 8 different months to get your spooky on. If you know of any other traditions, festivals or celebrations with a spooky theme, feel free to shout out or post a link in the comments.

Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

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The Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

Posted on February 14, 2024 | Leave a comment

Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I traditionally post this list the day after and enjoy all the fun additional suggestions in the comments from readers. Feel free to add your ideas below and maybe they’ll make the list next year!

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

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7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

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4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

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1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

I hope you have a great Valentine’s Day! ~Phil

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Unusual New Years Traditions from Around the World

Posted on December 29, 2023 | 5 comments

Universally New Years night or New Years Day means the same thing to everyone, except the Chinese, who do the same thing, but based on the Lunar year, and it’s a different date. Seems kind of snooty to me. That’s why I haven’t visited China yet. The rest of the world is on the same page as far as the date goes, but in other countries they celebrate the holiday in wildly different ways!

Spain and other Spanish speaking countries: In Spanish speaking countries the locals eat 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve. Each grape represents good luck for each month of the upcoming year. Fortunately they didn’t choose grapefruit or watermelons!

Pic from The Economic Times

Denmark’s Plate Smashing Tradition: In Denmark it’s customary to throw dishes at your friends door on New Years Eve. The more broken dishes on your doorstep, the more popular you are. This is exactly why I don’t have any Danish friends.

Pic from SFGate

Japan’s Temple Bells Ringing: In Japan temples ring the temple bells 108 times at New Years Eve midnight to symbolize the 108 human sins in Buddhist belief. People gather to listen to the bells, hoping to leave the past behind. They only believe in 108 sins?!!? Have they not seen the internet yet?

South Africa’s Furniture Tossing: In some parts of South Africa it’s not uncommon for people to throw old furniture out their windows on New Years Eve. This act symbolizes letting go of the past and embracing the new. Coincidentally, hundreds of pedestrians are killed by falling furniture every New Years Eve.

Apparently Ecuadoreans are not fans of cartoon characters either

Ecuador’s Scarecrow Burning: In Ecuador, people create life-sized scarecrows, known as “Anos Viejos,” representing the old year. (there is supposed to be an accent over the n in Anos, but I don’t know how to do that). At midnight the Ecuadoreans light their effigies on fire, symbolizing burning away the past. Maybe if some Ecuadoreans visited South Africa on New Years day they could take care of all the New Years Eve furniture on the sidewalks.

Pic from The Nomad Today

Finland’s Predictive Metal Casting: It’s called Tinanvalanta. In Finland people predict the coming year by melting tin horseshoes and casting them into cold water. The resulting shape is believed to foretell a person’s future – a heart shape signifies love while a ship may mean travel. I have a similar tradition where I dip a chip (crisp) in some melted cheese and it foretells me eating a tasty chip.

Pic from Greek Herald

Columbia’s Empty Suitcase Stroll: Columbians take an empty suitcase and walk around their block at midnight, hoping it will bring travel and adventure in the coming year. I wonder how many couples break up because one actually took their suitcase and just kept going until they got to the airport?

Philippine’s Round Food Feast: Filipino’s believe that eating round fruits on New Years Eve bring prosperity and wealth in the coming year. How many shapes does food come in? Are there any parallelogram foods?

Pic from Big 7 Travel

Russia’s New Years Eve Divination: In Russia, it’s a tradition to write down a wish on a piece of paper, burn it, and then mix the ashes with a glass of champagne. They believe that drinking their burnt wishes will bring fulfillment of their wish. Apparently someone in Russia wished for a long, awful war.

Pic from Visit Scotland

Scotland’s First Footing: In Scotland the “First Footing” tradition involves being the first person to enter a friend or neighbors home home after the stroke of midnight, bringing symbolic gifts like coins, bread, salt, and whisky for good luck. Although I am a quarter Scottish, please don’t show up at my house at 12:01 this coming Sunday night. I’ll call the cops.

Have you noticed how destructive and dangerous most of these traditions are? It’s like half of them were concocted by pyromaniacs.

Happy Friday! I hope that you  have a great weekend! Thanks for reading! ~Phil

 

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Music Monday! Adam Sandler and The Hannukah Song

Posted on December 11, 2023 | 2 comments

I’m not Jewish but I still love this song. Happy Hannukah to all my friends who are lighting candles this week, and Happy Monday to everyone else. ~Phil

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Ten Reasons To Love The Holidays!

Posted on December 9, 2023 | 2 comments

forums.hexus.net

About two weeks ago I posted my Ten Reasons to Hate The Holidays. If you haven’t read that, then you need to. It’s a prerequisite. Now I’m providing this as proof that I’m not some Ebenezer Scrooge or Grinch.

10. Ridiculous Holiday Light Displays: That’s not my house but I wish it was. I love people that take the decorating and lights waaaay too far. I wish we could do it all year long. If there’s a neighborhood that decorates all year long, let me know. I’ll move there.

9. Getting presents: Well duh! Free stuff that we didn’t know we needed or wanted? Yes please! Notice that the presents are only 9th on my list? That’s because I’m not superficial and materialistic.

wpid-img_20141208_191336.jpg

8. Nutcrackers: I buy my nuts pre-cracked but I love these guys anyway for no good reason.  As much as I love them I’d also love Stephen King, or maybe me, to write a Christmas horror story where nutcrackers come to life and terrorize people like Chuckie. Imagine how creepy they’d be if you added sharp teeth! (Yes, that herd of nutcrackers is at my house staring at me right now)

7. Holiday Movies: Check back here on Tuesday for my list of the ten best holiday movies.

6. Time off from work: Let’s be honest, how many of us love our job so much that we’d do it even if we didn’t get paid? Bueller? Bueller? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m taking the week off between Christmas and New Years. Don’t worry, I’ll still keep blogging because I’d do that even if they didn’t pay me.

GrinchCindyPic

5. Holiday Specials: Come back in two weeks for my top ten holiday specials. The Grinch is a total badass but he’s not number 1 on that list.

4. Awkward Family Holiday Photos: I don’t care if they’re real or fake, they’re funny. I hope someday to create my own that becomes a meme on the internet.

3. Sometimes jerks try a little harder not to be: Including me. I don’t think I’m a jerk, but it’s nice that me and most other people try a little harder to be cordial, except at the mall.

2. My holiday tie collection: Yes, this is one you should love too. This year I own enough holiday themed ties that I can wear a different one every work day from Thanksgiving until Christmas. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you’ve probably seen them.

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1. _________________________

Red Gift

Number 1 is left blank for you. What is it that you love about the holidays above all else? Put in the comments what you love most about Hanukkah or Christmas. Have a great Tuesday!~Phil

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My Lifelong Friend Judy Izzum

Posted on December 7, 2023 | 1 comment

That pic above is the kind of information I didn’t have as a kid. I grew up as a Catholic kid in a middle class neighborhood in upstate New York. So, you would think that if I’m in New York there would be a lot of Jewish people around. You are sadly mistaken.

New York is a pretty big state. There’s upstate and downstate.  Downstate is New York City, Long Island and a couple counties just north of New York City. That whole area is a five hour drive from where I live. The downstate area is filled with many unique, wonderful cultures, and the Jewish community is one of them. The upstate part of New York is more homogenized, although there are some quirky cultural things going on in different places.

This one is available on Amazon

When I grew up, I didn’t think that I knew anyone that was Jewish. I was sheltered.  My Irish Catholic mother was too busy training me to be the next Pope. It wasn’t until I went away to college at 17 that I really discovered the Jewish religion. Many of my college friends were from downstate and chose to go to college upstate.

For me it was fun learning about the Jewish religion from my friends, and I was thrilled one year when my friend gave me a dreidel and taught me the song: “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it’s dried and ready, oh dreidel we will play.” Thank you my college friend Gary. That song has been in my head every December since we met.

After having many Jewish friends in college and learning what surnames were most likely to be Jewish, I realized that I had had Jewish friends my entire life and just didn’t know it.

As an adult I’ve always craved learning about other cultures and religions because I felt like I grew up very generically.  Go watch That 70’s show. I think the parents in that show were modeled after my parents. In the picture below, I was most likely to be Eric (actor Topher Grace) in the top right.


At the end of the day though, there’s almost really no difference between religions and the people that practice them. Every religion has different repetitive, quirky traditions and every religion in  the world is based on the “magic guy in the sky” premise, so who cares if someone wears a different hat or says a different prayer? At 17 I thought my Jewish friends were this new and interesting novelty when it turned out that I had Jewish friends my whole life.

If I was Jewish, this would be me every December

If I was Jewish, this would be me every December. During the holiday season when Hanukkah and Christmas overlap, it feels like Hanukah doesn’t get the big publicity that Christmas does, and that’s a shame because they have 8 days of one holiday. If that’s not an excuse to day drink, I don’t know what is.

Anyway, I just want to say Happy Hanukkah to all the Jewish friends that I’ve had in my life, even the ones that I didn’t know were Jewish. Now that they know I know, I hope they don’t expect eight presents times the number of years that I didn’t know they were Jewish.

If I could ask my Jewish friends two things: 1. Could you decide on one spelling of your holiday? And 2. Could you make Hanukkah start on the same date every year?

Shalom and Happy Chanukah my friends~ Phil

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