Tag Archives: haunting

Please Let It Be Haunted…

Amityville Horror House

You may be asking yourself, what do I want haunted and why? First of all, why are you asking yourself that? You don’t know! I do and I’m going to tell you.

For the fifth time since The Phil Factor began in 2005, I’m moving to a new residence. Other questions you might be asking yourself are as follows:

1. Why does Phil move so much? 

2. Could he be trying to stay one step ahead of the law?

3. Could he possibly be a secret agent for the FBI, CIA, or MI5?

Was that a poltergeist, or just really kick-ass hi-def tv?

Never mind those questions. They are irrelevant. I’m moving again, and I’m hoping for a haunted house. I’m not hoping for just any run of the mill ghosts who make little noises at night. I want the full on Amityville Horror haunting. I want poltergeists out the ying-yang!

My last home, before the one I’m in now, was lightly haunted and it was enjoyable. I don’t want lightly haunted. This time I want the full on Stranger Thingsmy son is in the upside-down” kind of haunting. I want to see my dog walking on the ceiling and not knowing why. I’ll be running around the house with my cell phone recording myself Blair Witch Project style, only to find myself in the closet facing the wall.

Is this bad mojo to put this idea out into the universe? Probably. Will I regret it? Also probably. But, imagine how great all my paranormal blog posts will be when I’m reporting from my own home! I’ll have video and audio, and I promise I won’t be shouting about orbs. Zak Bagans is a clown. After about ten years he suddenly needs gigantic glasses? Did he go blind because he got an orb in his eye? SMH.

For cripes sake Zak. If you’d stop yelling all the time we might be able to hear the ghost talk in those crappy, static recordings. Every week you act like you’ve never seen a ghost before. And if you want to fight me Zak, I invite you to have your say on my blog and if you’ll invite me to follow you on one of your “investigations”, I’ll write about it. Sounds fair, right?

So here’s my question for you my readers: Answer in the comments, would you live in a haunted house, maybe if it was only lightly haunted?

Have a great Sunday and thanks for reading! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost!

There’s two things I’m not sure if I believe in, ghosts and death. Well, I’m sure I don’t believe in my own death, and if by chance it does happen, I plan to overcome it by becoming a ghost. I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself What a weirdo! Hey, relax on the judgement there. I’m contractually bound to comeback after death, if I have one, a death that is.

Contractually bound? Yup. Nothing I can do about it now. It was many years ago in college. One night myself and two friends were drinking some adult beverages. You know how when you’re young, like 20 or so and you think you’re really deep even though you’re really idiots who don’t know anything? We had imbibed a few and got to talking about death and the afterlife.

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We all were curious to know if there really was life after death, so right then and there we Googled and then re-enacted a centuries old Druid ceremony complete with a circle of salt, candles under a full moon and signing a pact with our own blood, which was flowing easily because of the alcohol we had been drinking. Ok, no we didn’t, but I had you going there for a second, didn’t I? There was no blood signed contract, and there was also no Google when I was in college, but we did make a promise to each other that whichever one of us died first would come back and haunt the other two so we would know that there’s life after death.

I don’t know where those two college friends are now and don’t even remember ones last name. Hopefully, because of our vow, some sort of afterlife mojo will help us find each other to keep our promise. As far as I know, none of us has ever shown up to haunt the others. With Halloween in the air I got to thinking of this and what else I might do if I were to be a ghost.

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I know this may be hard for you to believe, but in my life I’ve been a bit of a practical joker at times. I’m pretty sure that if I ever come back  as a ghost I’m not going to take off my shirt and help anyone with pottery. Jeez, what a waste of an afterlife. I’ll probably be what we all know as a poltergeist. I’ll move a lot of peoples car keys just before they have to leave for work. During live televised events I’ll show up invisibly and give the President or the Pope a wet willie. I’ll be on the field at all my favorite live sporting events, helping out a little to ensure my favorite teams win. You know that feeling you get when you feel like someone’s behind you but you turn around and no one’s there? That’ll be me.  Who knows? Ghost Phil may even zip into the internet and follow the connection to your computer and cause embarrassing typos when you’re posting pictures.

So do you believe in life after death? Do you think there are real ghosts? Have you ever had an experience with what you think was a ghost? What would you do if you were a ghost?

Have a great Thursday, and no, you don’t have enough Halloween decorations up yet! ~Phil