We all lie to ourselves. Most of the lies we tell ourselves are pretty harmless. To be perfectly honest, I kind of like fooling myself. The truth is just the lie we’ve chosen to believe. Here are the top ten lies I tell myself:
10. I’ll never get old like my parents! Those aren’t gray hairs, I’m just having my tips frosted silver.
9. That extra 5 pounds will be easy to lose! Yeah, if I cut off half an arm and donate a couple organs.
8. I could have been a professional athlete if I wanted to: I’m still angry that my high school guidance counselor didn’t mention that as a possible career track. Jerk.
7. Facebook isn’t a clever ploy by the government to monitor us and collect personal information: Did Facebook exist before 9/11? Nope, but it did afterwards.
6. I can still look cool when I dress up to go out: I think there’s a certain expiration date on looking good when you go out. You know you’ve passed it when people greet you with “Oh hey, you’re out late!” I don’t think I’m there yet, but I may have to stop writing this to go watch Murder She Wrote.
5. I’m a better parent than my parents were: We all tell ourselves this, but honestly, who the hell knows? If your kids don’t end up on the Maury Povich show then you’ve done an adequate job. Of course if they do end up on Maury Povich you might find out they’re not your kids anyway. Sounds like a win-win to me!
4. It actually means something when someone clicks “Like” on a blog post: Yeah, it means you didn’t read my post but you want me to think you did so I’ll go read your blog. Sometimes I do, if I like you.
3. I’m not going to die: I keep telling myself this and so far I’ve been right about this every day of my life.
2. If I dress for the weather I want, it will happen: Yup, about 6 weeks ago I put shorts on and it hasn’t snowed since. Apparently even weather patterns don’t want anything to do with my naked legs.
1. Blogging is a way to get famous: I’ve been writing this blog for ten years and still no syndicated column or book deal. I’m starting to think this may not be true.
How about in the comment you fess up to what the lies are that you tell yourself? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
And then the semi-lies people tell us “Gee you’re looking good” Omitting the bit about “For your age and your decadent lifestyle.”
#2 is quite relevant here in Ohio where it was 55 degrees yesterday.
Wait, we’re supposed to read the post before liking it???? That’s just crazy;)
“Hey, on the bright side….” THERE IS ALMOST NEVER A BRIGHT SIDE! I tell myself that to give myself some good old false hope.
Those are all lies?! … well except for #8. I’ve never had any of those delusions … and for #9, truthfully the number is much larger!
I don’t lie but I also don’t always tell the truth. As long as I don’t look in the mirror I am drop-dead gorgeous!
#3 has H’s name all over it! He thinks he is invincible! As for me – I have a list marking through my accomplishments every week. If I don’t get to it I just tack on to the bottom what I actually did do – then scratch off! Voila! One more off that list! LOL! ~Elle
I liked . . .er. . .maybe was pleased with. . .um. . .thought. . . damn. I lied.
Excellent list! Most enjoyable…especially must agree with ……yeah, I agree with all of them!
Interesting list. It sounds very familiar.
You’re back! Feeling better?
Yes,my ribs are finally beginning to heal. Now, I’m embroiled in the rigamarole following my car being totaled by someone unknown (no note left at scene of accident)who hit my car while it was parked on the street. Being without a car in California is not a condition devoutly to be wished.
My kids are with their grandparents today so I can have time to clean the house without constant interruption. I am totally going to clean all day long so my husband will think he’s walked into the wrong house. Yeah, right. I will clean some, crochet, watch Bones and NCIS, maybe clean a little more, meet some friends for lunch, and shove things into boxes and closets just before everyone comes homes. 🙂
My “likes” are actual and mean something! The ones I give, I mean, not the ones I receive 🙂
I believe you but not anyone else!
#3 is AWESOME 😀
(I really don’t like the Likers who Like without reading. I know who a few of them are, too, liking 6 posts in 10 seconds. I read fast, they don’t read at all.)
That “no book deal” thing, Phi: There just aren’t enough readers left in our country, is the problem.
No, the readers are still out there.
ARE they, Phil? What do the numbers show? How many people buy books–virtual or otherwise–like they used to? Or borrow from the libraries? Libraries are hurting–many have closed. I haven’t looked at stats, but I am sure our country has a lower percent of fluent readers at a high-school level than we did when you and I were in our 20’s–even counting only those born here.
#5. The older I get, the more I see that my parents did a perfectly adequate job. Helicopter parents concern me much more than the sort of “benign neglect” of the parents of my generation. I digress. You made me laugh with #6. For me it’s “Law and Order”, but I get the idea.
LOL, my wife watches Law & Order all the time too.