We all lie to ourselves. Most of the lies we tell ourselves are pretty harmless. To be perfectly honest, I kind of like fooling myself. The truth is just the lie we’ve chosen to believe. Here are the top ten lies I tell myself:
10. I’ll never get old like my parents! Those aren’t gray hairs, I’m just having my tips frosted silver.
9. That extra 5 pounds will be easy to lose! Yeah, if I cut off half an arm and donate a couple organs.
8. I could have been a professional athlete if I wanted to: I’m still angry that my high school guidance counselor didn’t mention that as a possible career track. Jerk.
7. Facebook isn’t a clever ploy by the government to monitor us and collect personal information: Did Facebook exist before 9/11? Nope, but it did afterwards.
6. I can still look cool when I dress up to go out: I think there’s a certain expiration date on looking good when you go out. You know you’ve passed it when people greet you with “Oh hey, you’re out late!” I don’t think I’m there yet, but I may have to stop writing this to go watch Murder She Wrote.
5. I’m a better parent than my parents were: We all tell ourselves this, but honestly, who the hell knows? If your kids don’t end up on the Maury Povich show then you’ve done an adequate job. Of course if they do end up on Maury Povich you might find out they’re not your kids anyway. Sounds like a win-win to me!
4. It actually means something when someone clicks “Like” on a blog post: Yeah, it means you didn’t read my post but you want me to think you did so I’ll go read your blog. Sometimes I do, if I like you.
3. I’m not going to die: I keep telling myself this and so far I’ve been right about this every day of my life.
2. If I dress for the weather I want, it will happen: Yup, about 6 weeks ago I put shorts on and it hasn’t snowed since. Apparently even weather patterns don’t want anything to do with my naked legs.
1. Blogging is a way to get famous: I’ve been writing this blog for ten years and still no syndicated column or book deal. I’m starting to think this may not be true.
How about in the comment you fess up to what the lies are that you tell yourself? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil