Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope


10. He gets his own bobblehead: My head bobbles, but nobody is making toys out of it.

9. Chicks dig a guy with power: Dude can get anyone in the Vatican City he wants. From what I hear, he’s got a serious habit habit, if you know what I mean (insert wink emoji here).  

pope mcdonalds hat

8. I tried for years to Get McDonald’s to serve breakfast all day: One wave of his triton and it’s Egg McMuffin’s for dinner.

7. He gets featured on #ThePhilFactor again. Come back for my Throwback Thursday later this week to read a Phil Factor from the ancient days of the internet, 2005, featuring the newly elected Pope then.

6. The Popemobile! In the pantheon of super vehicles the Popemobile ranks right up there with the Batmobile and Scooby Doo’s Mystery Machine.

5. He’s the real transgender pioneer: Enough with this Caitlyn Jenner crap. The Pope has been wearing a dress for centuries.

4. I allowed him to use my middle name: When the Pope sends you a DM on Twitter asking if he can use your middle name, you say yes.

Preview (3)

3. When he get’s the Kohl’s scratch off coupon he always seems to get 30%, and his receipt says he saved $482.00 just for buying a pair of socks.

2. Always gets first pick in his fantasy football draft. 

1. There’s is absolutely no possible way for him to vote for Donald Trump.

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

19 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

  1. He’s one cool dude, for sure. (Rather like you, I guess.)

  2. I would love a Pope Mobile. I could ride through my enemy’s neighborhood and just smile lol

  3. In all seriousness, if I were inclined to go back to the Church, he would the reason why. Future Popes should lead by his example, but of course, they won’t (more than likely)

  4. Phil, you know, it is my hope,
    I’ll one day be elected pope
    But I hear the Vatican’s not looking
    For a Jewish girl from Brooklyn.

  5. Big question here is – does the Pope shit in the woods?

  6. Geez Louise, I’ve never even heard of a Kohl’s scratch off coupon, let alone get one. And he gets the best one ever? Clearly there’s something more to Catholicism than this lapsed Presbyterian has previously heard about. Hmmm…

  7. As a lapsed Catholic, I’m probably already going to hell so I’m sure it didn’t matter that I snorted at the photo of the Pope with french fries in his mitre headdress 😀

  8. This post is a gift to humanity.

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