Tag Archives: Pope

TBT: There’s a New Pope!

Ok, there isn’t a new Pope. To commemorate the Pope’s visit to the United States I’m reposting what I blogged in April of 2005 when the previous Pope was elected. Yes, I said 2005. The Phil Factor has spanned two Popes and two Presidents. In fact, Pope Jon Paul II died the day before The Phil Factor was born. Or did he die so that #ThePhilFactor could be born? Hey, it’s the circle of life. I don’t make the rules. What I think I’m trying to say here is that God wants you to read The Phil Factor. It’s his favorite blog. In the picture below following his election, Pope Benedict is saying “All hail The Phil Factor!” He was speaking in Latin, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.

pope

(4/19/2005) There’s a new Pope and it’s not me. Again. The whole process just pisses me off. It’s all political. It’s who you know. It’s who you kissed up to. Just because I’m not a glad handing Cardinal in the Catholic church I don’t even get a whiff of consideration for the job. I didn’t even get a single write in vote. That is totally not fair. If I am ever elected Pope the first thing I’m going to do is revise that hat. It’s got to be a total pain in the ass to get through doorways wearing a 3 foot hat. I think a nice papal baseball cap worn backwards would be cool. It could have a big “V” on the front for Vatican. If I was Pope I’d also have one of those big foam No. 1 fingers for waving from the balcony to the millions of people who wait outside all the time. You know there is no way that the guy standing 800 rows back from the Vatican can see that little Miss America wave that the Pope does. I’ve got a goatee. If I were Pope I’d keep that. A Pope with a goatee would be cool. Especially if it was me.

As always, if you enjoy The Phil Factor please leave a comment, and/or hit the Facebook or Twitter share button below. Have a great Thursday!

 

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

Benedictbobble

10. He gets his own bobblehead: My head bobbles, but nobody is making toys out of it.

9. Chicks dig a guy with power: Dude can get anyone in the Vatican City he wants. From what I hear, he’s got a serious habit habit, if you know what I mean (insert wink emoji here).  

pope mcdonalds hat

8. I tried for years to Get McDonald’s to serve breakfast all day: One wave of his triton and it’s Egg McMuffin’s for dinner.

7. He gets featured on #ThePhilFactor again. Come back for my Throwback Thursday later this week to read a Phil Factor from the ancient days of the internet, 2005, featuring the newly elected Pope then.

6. The Popemobile! In the pantheon of super vehicles the Popemobile ranks right up there with the Batmobile and Scooby Doo’s Mystery Machine.

5. He’s the real transgender pioneer: Enough with this Caitlyn Jenner crap. The Pope has been wearing a dress for centuries.

4. I allowed him to use my middle name: When the Pope sends you a DM on Twitter asking if he can use your middle name, you say yes.

Preview (3)

3. When he get’s the Kohl’s scratch off coupon he always seems to get 30%, and his receipt says he saved $482.00 just for buying a pair of socks.

2. Always gets first pick in his fantasy football draft. 

1. There’s is absolutely no possible way for him to vote for Donald Trump.

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursdays! There’s a New Pope! (April 19, 2005)

Proving that #ThePhilFactor just might be one of the oldest continuous running blogs on the interwebs, today’s Throwback Thursdays post goes back to not the most recent Pope election, but the one before that. That’s right, The Phil Factor has now spanned two Popes and two Presidents. In fact Pope John Paul II died the day before The Phil Factor was born. Or did he die so that The Phil Factor could be born?  Hey, it’s the circle of life. I don’t make the rules. What I think I’m trying to say here is that God wants you to read The Phil Factor. It’s his favorite blog. In the picture below Pope Benedict is saying “All hail The Phil Factor!” He was speaking in Latin, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.

pope

(4/19/2005) There’s a new Pope and it’s not me. Again. The whole process just pisses me off. It’s all political. It’s who you know. It’s who you kissed up to. Just because I’m not a glad handing Cardinal in the Catholic church I don’t even get a whiff of consideration for the job. I didn’t even get a single write in vote. That is totally not fair. If I am ever elected Pope the first thing I’m going to do is revise that hat. It’s got to be a total pain in the ass to get through doorways wearing a 3 foot hat. I think a nice papal baseball cap worn backwards would be cool. It could have a big “V” on the front for Vatican. If I was Pope I’d also have one of those big foam No. 1 fingers for waving from the balcony to the millions of people who wait outside all the time. You know there is no way that the guy standing 800 rows back from the Vatican can see that little Miss America wave that the Pope does. I’ve got a goatee. If I were Pope I’d keep that. A Pope with a goatee would be cool. Especially if it was me.

As always, if you enjoy The Phil Factor please leave a comment, and/or hit the Facebook or Twitter share button below. Have a great Thursday!