I Know What You Googled In The Dark

Like opening Christmas presents, the list of search terms that brought people here is always surprising. I know I have my regular readers who are nice, sane, intelligent people. Then there are the people that get to The Phil Factor by “Googling” something. My blog will turn up in their list of search results and they get intrigued by one of my clever titles. What most people don’t know is that if someone owns a website, you can get a list of the creepy, crazy and downright bizarre search terms that bring people to your site. This my friends is the top ten list of the weirdest search terms that brought strangers here in 2021.

10. Glutes are made for walking: If you’ve seen my glutes, you know this is spot on, but how did google know about my glutes?

That’s me in the crystal ball. I’m not the lady

9. The Phil Factor Psychic Predictions 2022: 2022? It looks like someone was looking to the future. Yes, in case you didn’t know, I’m psychic and each December I publish my predictions for the coming year. You may scoff (see I’m predicting your behavior), but I have had many of my most outlandish predictions come true. Some even from the last year. If you want to read some of my past psychic predictions, just google The Phil Factor psychic predictions and add the year. Come back here on Dec. 31st for my psychic predictions for 2022.

8. Popes Perks: You’ve got to figure that there are some cool ass perks to being the best known religious official in the world, right? Click the title below to see what I had to say about that in 2015. The Top Ten Perks To Being The Pope

7. Which Generation Eats Tide Pods? Someone searched that term and came to my blog for answers. Believe it or not, I had the answers RIGHT HERE.

6. Coolest Safe Words: When you and your partner want to get a little risky in the bedroom, who can you count on to provide you with the best safe words? That’s right, I’ve got your back, or your front or whatever side you may be doing “things” on when the lights go out. Check out Ten Fun Safe Words

5. Sexting Examples in Hindi: In case you’ve been living under a rock over the last ten years, I’m proud to inform you that my blog is hugely popular in India. Why? Because I have a long history of helping my Hindi speaking friends to प्यार करना (make love). Don’t believe me? Read How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex 

4. Candy Hearts Insurance Sayings: Are there really candy hearts with insurance sayings on them? Ugh, who would want that? I imagine it might say something like “I love you, but I’m not going to live forever. Get term life insurance” . Anywho, I think I can blame my list of Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings for this one.

3. Psychic Pick Up Lines: After about 5 years the horny hindi’s tailed off, but they were replaced by a new group of unusual individuals who came to The Phil Factor looking for love. Psychics are now flocking to my blog regularly to find out how to navigate a relationship when you can already read their dirty little minds. If you’re a psychic looking get your chakra stroked then you’ll want to read THIS

2. Celebrity Nipples: Hey, I know my blog and books are popular, but it might be a stretch to call me a celebrity. And generally I try to avoid gratuitous nudity on my blog, but after one particularly flattering picture I just couldn’t resist. Yes, if you google images the phrase The Phil Factor Sexiest Man Alive, that picture will come up, but that’s not why Celebrity Nipples bring people here. It was THIS

1. Amish Wagon Sex Position: Yes, in addition to the psychics and the Hindi speaking folks, I get a lot of people curious about Amish sex coming here because of this one post: The Top Ten Amish Sex Positions

It’s funny, when you look back, it seems like all my most popular, searched posts are about sex. Is that a reflection on me, or on the sick weirdos trolling the internet? Either way, it looks like I should make more sex jokes in 2022.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

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