Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie

Pride_and_prejudice_and_zombies

With the release of the movie Pride + Prejudice + Zombies I thought this would be an appropriate list.

Since we all will eventually be zombies I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact there are quite a few perks to being undead.

10. Zombies never pay insurance premiums: No health, no dental, no auto or home. Who isn’t frustrated by all the money you spend on insurance that you never get back? Zombies, that’s who!

9. Cardio! With all that constant, aimless wandering around zombies are in great shape.

8. Your wardrobe never goes out of style! Just wear the same outfit forever, kind of like our parents.

7. No tan lines! That’s hot, right?

6. Dating is easy: Zombie chicks don’t care if you have six pack abs. In fact, they don’t care if you have abs at all!

5. Zombies don’t worry about pageviews: I’ve never once seen a zombie blogger check his phone 10x during the day to see how many people read his blog. Zombies don’t give a crap if you read their blog. They’re cool like that.

4. When You’re Dead, Weight Loss is Easy! Got a few extra pounds? Just offer it to your friend as an appetizer. How many points is an arm worth Weight Watchers?

3. All the unprotected sex you want! Do I need to elaborate on this one?

2. No technology worries: Zombies never worry about a wi-fi signal or their phone battery.

Picture credit: www.weheartit.com

Picture credit: http://www.weheartit.com

1. The night life is phenomenal! Every night, all night raves. And now that Michael Jackson is dead he can dance with the zombies forever! What? Too soon?

Feel free to share by the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great Tuesday everyone!  ~Phil

13 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie

  1. I couldn’t stop chuckling, so funny Phil!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I would fit in a treat – sleeping all day, awake all night – never having a bad hair day – not having to worry about cooking tea – help yourself buffet 😁 brilliant – bring it on ……..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good stuff! I always wanted a man to appreciate me for my brains!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ll have an order of #4 with an extra side of #3, please.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. *Chuckles* Don’t need to be bothered with a Fitbit either.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Interesting list! 😁

    I never thought I’d have cause to envy zombies! No. 5 got me.

    Like

  7. You! Do zombies giggle? I want to still be able to giggle. These are great! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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