I know I look squeaky clean and about as cool as most sit-com dads, but I do like tattoos. I have a few myself and so do others in my family. When choosing a tattoo, my philosophy is that you should choose wisely because you are, for the most part, stuck with that on your body forever more. Some people aren’t so picky though. Based on seeing others, these are my top ten worst possible tattoo choices. In the comments, tell me what your ideas are.
10. A corporate logo: I like a lot of products, but not so much I’d tattoo them on me. I’ve heard of people being paid to have a logo tattooed on them. No thanks. What if in ten years you find out that company has been poisoning people or making hamburgers out of puppies?
9. Someone’s name: Through a job I once had, I knew a couple that had each others names tattooed on their necks, so of course they broke up. Maybe your name and home address with the phrase “If found, return to:” just in case you pass out somewhere.
8. Face tattoo: The news came out yesterday that Justin Bieber got a face tattoo. Of course he did. He’s a moron. His is just a tiny cross beneath his eye, but others have certainly done much worse on their faces.
7. The permanent makeup: Sounds like a great idea right? Never have to put eyeliner or lipstick on again! I don’t get it. I think 99% of women look better without makeup.
6. A band name: Unless it’s The Beatles, can anyone think of any band right now that we’ll still consider brilliant 40 years from now? Who’s got that One Direction tattoo? Anyone?
5. A cartoon character: I like SpongeBob as much as the next guy, but I’m pretty sure that when I’m 80 I’m not going to be into Scooby Doo, or SpongeBob, or Batman as much as I was when I was young. Also, when I’m 80 my grandchildren will wonder who all those weird characters on me are.
4. The bar code: The first time I heard of some one getting a bar code tattooed on the back of their neck I thought it was hilarious. Outside of that first dude, the rest of the people that did it are stupid and unoriginal.
3. A ghost shaped like a penis: The last time I got a tattoo, I asked the artist what was the stupidest tattoo anyone had ever requested from her. Yes, a ghost shaped like a penis. She showed me a picture.
2. The WordPress logo: I’m pretty sure that even if I got a WordPress tattoo and posted a picture of it on my blog every day for a year, I’d still never get Freshly Pressed. Jerks. If they did offer to Freshly Press a post of my choice from my blog if I get a WordPress tattoo…yes, I’d do it.
1. The neck tattoo: Not only do I imagine that the neck would be a painful place to get a tattoo, but unless you’re willing to wear a turtleneck, that neck tattoo will be the first thing anyone notices about you. That’s why Steve Jobs always wore a turtleneck. He was hiding an Apple tattoo he had gotten when he was drunk. It’s possible I just made that up.
So those are my ideas for the top ten worst possible types of tattoos. What are yours? Do you have tattoos? Do you like tattoos? Do you hate tattoos? Is there one you’re dying to get? Do you have one you regret?
Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
I would like to get a tattoo of a butt on my butt, uhhhh, hehehheheheheh. Just kidding! I don’t have any tattoos. I am afraid I’d choose poorly and regret it the rest of my life. What are your tattoos? I know you have the pink ribbon, but what else?
I have a shamrock because I’m Irish and I have one I designed myself of a baseball with two guitars crossed in front of it to symbolize my three boys. A baseball player and two musicians.
Oh cool, I love that!
I don’t have any but always joke I’d like to get a small owl. I just don’t know where. Tattooing make up is just laziness. I’d love to see your tattoo for your boys. That sounds awesome!
Go get your owl tattoo! Most people, once they get one they like it so much that they get more
My soon has two tattoos. One is a dragon tail and the other I’m not quite sure of but they look great on him. I’m still considering it, it hasn’t been tossed in the trash pile yet 🙂
I don’t have a neck tattoo, but I might get a neck tattoo later down the road. I think it’s a cool placement and I don’t mind visible tattoos. If I get one, I won’t wear a turtleneck, that’s for sure.
What will it be?
I love the idea of tattoos much more than I like actual tattoos. I always say I’ll get one…someday… but I’m a chicken. LMAO.
Just get one hidden somewhere so that if you aren’t happy with it, no one else will see it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’m going to follow your blog now if I’m not already
You obviously haven’t seen the tattoo of a Bumble Bee on my butt.
There was a guy that I knew
His first tattoo “My First Tattoo”
And just in case you it made you wonder
Don’t think he ever got another.
I’m not a fan. I just don’t get the attraction to paint the skin … but to each their own.
My favourite story is one my niece told me. Her friend in high school had Elmo tattoo’ed around her belly button. Later in her 20s when she married and got pregnant, Elmo became a monster. Try picturing that sorry mess at 80 years old 😉
That’s why I’m careful and thoughtful with mine.
I guess everyone has their own preferences. I’m not for tattoos on myself but have seen some I really like. I threatened to get a Fighting Irish Tattoo but chickened out.
Go ahead and do it. What’s the harm?
You could be right.
Does Superheroes come under the cartoon character category?
Kind of. What do you think?
Nah! Especially not the Superman logo 🙂
I have tattoos, I like tattoos but the worst is when someone notices mine and then wants to show me their moronic ones. Recently, a “lady” pulled down her shirt to reveal her Tazmanian Devil,boob tattoo. She also had a Tweety Bird on her arm. Why? Just. Why?
Ugh. You’re right. Those are stupid!
Could I ask what your very tasteful tattoos are?
1). A half sleeve of hearts on my left arm. It was copied from a drawing that Derek made for me on our first Valentine’s together. I waited four years to get it done (just in case), and we’ve been together for 11 years. 😜
2). A hibiscus because that was my Mother’s favorite flower. She passed away in 99′.
3). A wrist tattoo with an Indian/henna design. I got it when I was making plans to move to India and work in an orphanage.
4). A tramp stamp of some vines and flowers. Hey, it was my first one, and that was cool back then!!! It’s the only one I kind of regret, but I don’t have to look at it.
My next one will be the shape of Texas on my forearm. Yeehaw!
I’m not so sure about the Texas one, but I love a nice sleeve and the hibiscus is a nice choice. Yeah, everybody used to get the tramp stamp, except me of course. Is there a male equivalent of that ?
Well, I’m forever homesick, so the Texas one works for me. The male equivalent to the tramp stamp is definitely a tribal tattoo…or Chinese symbols. It’s funny that even tattoos go through trends.
I was thinking the same thing about the tribal tattoo right after I asked you. So far I’ve managed not to get anything too tacky.
I think it’s just about picking something that has meaning for you.
I’m gonna have to show my husband this post. He has tattoos and I think seeing awful tattoos is one of his favorite comedy hobbies.
I did some research when I wrote it and saw many many far wore tattoos on google images
Ha! You just know that tattoo artists are swapping stories about these. Some of them have to wake up just hating themselves, thinking “I can’t believe I went to art school so I could etch a wasted, Satanic Colonel Sanders on some pothead’s back.”
Yeah, some of the tattoo artists do some amazing stuff that takes tremendous talent. I’ve got to make friends with a tattoo artist just so I can hear the stories.
I have a small tattoo on left shoulder, been such a long time ago since I got it done I’ve forgotten what it looks like!
I like tattoo’s on men but never on the face 😱